1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

girlfriend while reboot advice

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Sal450r, Nov 6, 2018.

  1. Sal450r

    Sal450r Fapstronaut

    11
    14
    3
    Im trying to reboot but I always get the urge to have sex with my girlfriend. she's been with me even with my pied she says im fine but all this time we've had sex I didn't really enjoy as much. I recently stopped watching porn and helped a lot but I can't seem to stop have sex with my girl. I want to reboot not just for my benefit but for hers, but whenever she's around I get in the mood and I lose it. I also don't want to tell her im going to start a NoFap for 90 days, so see you in 90 days you get me ? How can I tell her or what can I do? I've stopped porn and masterbathing but I want to stop orgasm as well for some time.
     
  2. Time2Heal

    Time2Heal Fapstronaut

    25
    10
    3
    A 90 day reboot would do some good, but I think you should tell your girlfriend you want to do this. 90 days is a significant amount of time and if you go from having sex every time you see her to nothing, it's going to cause some conflict. Put yourself in her shoes: how would you feel if she said nothing, but kept avoiding having sex with you for 3 whole months? I know that I'd feel hurt, maybe even a little suspicious.

    A big part of a reboot with a partner is clear communication throughout. Yeah, it's a little unsexy to say you need to take a break from regular sex, but she would definitely appreciate the explanation. Tell her, in plain terms, that you want a break from PMO to help get yourself back to a better place. Also, during that 90 days, I would still try to see her on a regular basis. Spend quality time together that doesn't end (or begin) with sex. Go out on dates, spend some time indoors together, watch some of your favourite movies, whatever you want. If that "mood" comes, you can still be intimate. Kiss or cuddle or whatever, but establish a clear boundary with yourself and don't go over the edge if you truly want a break from sex. Before you know it, you'll finish a reboot and hopefully sex will be better than ever!
     
    boilerball123 likes this.
  3. Sal450r

    Sal450r Fapstronaut

    11
    14
    3
    Yeah 90 days is a significant amount of time guess ill have to tell her what the NoFap for 90 days is and why I want to do it hopefully she understands and is patient with me. Most def she will, heck she was patient with my pied guess im lucky to have a gf that is very comprehensive. Thanks for the advice !
     
  4. Mandarim

    Mandarim Fapstronaut

    35
    82
    18
    Man, this is not exact science we are talking about. each one of us reacts differently in each step of the way.
    Why do you want to stop sex with her? Intimacy and HUMAN CONTACT are good for you!!
    You are doing it with a REAL PERSON and not pixels...
    at least that's my two cents ok...
    I am going through the process without abstaining from sex. I did manage to stay 3 weeks without sex due to some issues and that was good for me.
    After that my PIED was almost 100% gone... erections are back, morning woods are back... I am off PM but I keep the O with my partner.
    It has helped me a lot.
    So, as I said... not exact science! If you feel that a short time away from PMO and then a healthy sex life with your girlfriend is fine, go for it! That is what I have done and it's been working like a charm.
     
    Sal450r likes this.
  5. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    783
    1,442
    123
    Before I say anything else, I just want to say that I think I know how you feel. For a long time, I knew that I wanted to do a hard-mode reboot, but I didn't know how to ask the question to my girlfriend. I was anxious about it. I was worried that she was going to be upset if I asked her about it (in the most extreme examples that played in my mind, she would leave me because of it). I know this is a tough thing to do, so I just want to say I appreciate your struggle.

    Why not? Don't you sincerely believe it would be the best thing for your relationship with her?

    I'd start by telling her that you care about her. If you love her, tell her that, too. Then, explain how you believe that taking a break from all PMO (including orgasms from sex) would be the best thing for your relationship. Tell her that you trust her, that you value your relationship with her, and that things will get better if you are both patient with one another and work through this reboot together.

    If your relationship is built on a foundation of trust, love, and compassion, then I'm sure she won't have a problem with it. Just ask her about it. I think you'll both be really happy you did. Your relationship with her is obviously important to you, and I think this is a perfect way to demonstrate that to her.

    If the worst case scenario happens and she pushes you out of her life as a result of you asking her about this, then I'd say you're better off without her. If she doesn't want to do this with you, then it's pretty clear that having frequent sex with you is more important to her than your own peace of mind, and why would you want to be with someone like that?

    But that's just the worst case scenario. Just talk to her about it, dude. I think she'll dig it. My girlfriend did. It's been really exciting for us :)
     
    Sal450r and Towards Redemption like this.
  6. Sal450r

    Sal450r Fapstronaut

    11
    14
    3
    Yeah your right i stopped watching porn and just had sex with my girl and helped alot but i just feel i need to improve alot more hopefully this reboot works !
     
    Mandarim likes this.
  7. Sal450r

    Sal450r Fapstronaut

    11
    14
    3
    First of all , Thanks bro for the advice and yes i talked to her today and she was like skeptical. Than like really 90 days? But in all she said if you think thats gonna help you than go ahead ill support you. But she said we should start off slow like try a month maybe than later increase to 2 months and so on.
     

Share This Page