Alright, so I'm not sure where to start or how long this will be - or if this even belongs here. I'm sorry if I'm posting in the wrong area. I've been with my boyfriend now for nearly five years (were in our late 20's). We live together and for the most part have a wonderful life together. My boyfriend and I have wonderful sex at least twice a week, if not more. Our sex life has not been impacted by his use of porn. But the things he looks at and is starting to get involved in are not ok in my opinion. He's changed from looking at regular porn, to using reddit, looking up Skype names of girls, webcams, kik, and other apps. I don't know the reason behind it because he lies about it - most of the time saying he had urges to look at girls on those things but stopped himself. I don't know if he's there to just watch girls do things, or show girls his stuff as well. He works from home a lot and I feel like spends the majority of his time looking around at stuff. There are times where he will talk calmly about his porn use, there are other times where he goes in a rage - wants to break up - leaves the house - blames me for it (this is VERY rarely but it has happened) When we've cooled off we both agreed that his use is excessive and we want to talk to someone about things. There have been many times where he's broken down and even cried from the shame he has from it. I know that when he was younger he was shammed for looking at these things by past partners and family members embarrassing him about it. I know that its really hard topic to talk about. I've tried to be understanding and there for him - and I'm still trying but I know that when he has the chance - he looks at things. The majority of it is just regular sites, I think he gets bored and starts looking for more exciting and possibly more personal content for the excitement - but I don't know. It has caused me so much PTSD - I worry about it so much that its basically consuming me and I don't want either of us to have to live like this. I want nothing more than to fully trust him and support him - and I want nothing more than for him to not have to feel my pain and suffering at times from this. I know he truly loves me, he supports me emotionally and financially if there is ever a need, he makes me laugh uncontrollably, we're weird and ourselves together. He loves to spoil me, he takes care of our animals. He does a lot to make sure I'm comfortable. He doesn't get weird calls from girls, he doesn't get weird text messages from girls. When a past girl randomly hit him up to see how he was he told me right away. He's very honest and open with those things - I truly believe he isn't looking to emotionally connect or physically connect with people - but I don't know what it is. He has told me parts of his "why" which has been boredom from being at home, or drama with work or personal life, stress, depression. We've been together for a while so I'm sure its also times where I need to give him more attention or try something different with him in bed. But I know that I'm not the reason why. The only issues we really ever have is with porn. I know I have my own flaws, I will admit its made me a snooper to see if he's being honest with me when it comes to what he looks at. I truly want to stop and change that and be there for him the way he needs and show him the support. I just want him to feel comfortable enough to open up, be honest with his needs, or whats going on in his life. He's had a really rough past where I think its to the point its given him PTSD - from being teased, embarrassed, he's been shamed for it, an ex broke his laptop from it. I guess I'm rambling, I don't know if I can get support here since I'm not the one with a problem. Maybe any advice? anyone been through the same things? suggestions? Concerns? Do you think by him looking at kik names, Skype names, those things he's actually trying to cheat? or is it possible to get bored and look at those things without meaning true harm? (he hasn't done this in a few months and I only saw it a couple of times - most of it was reddit girl pages or porn video sites) I really love him and want to be with him, but it's hurt really bad and I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.