Getting over the "broken person" mindset

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/08/10/get-1-better-every-day-the-kaizen-way-to-self-improvement/

 

I feel like that constantly. I've done some stupid shit in my life which I feel deeply ashamed about. I also feel stuck and without a future. "Worthless" and "degraded" and "end it all now" are phrases that find common circulation in my mind.

But that's how depression works. No matter how tough it gets, these are lies and delusions. Your life is a project that needs constant refinement, and yeah, you'll fail. But the future is always offering you an opportunity to do something BETTER. Even if it's a minor thing, it's still an accomplishment.

I want to stay general because this journey is ultimately up to you. You haven't committed suicide, yet, so that means there is SOME investment, still. Find it and hold on. Talk about your feelings, too, with friends or others, even if it's just on this site. You're worth more than you think, trust me.

Hang in there. Stay strong.

 

Start meditating, it will strong your sense of awareness and mindfullness.
It helps with your focus and makes your brain less confused about yourself.
Seek peace and people that loves you. Accept your errors and move on from that, forget about the minor things that makes you have these negative thoughts.

 

I like that article, a nice reminder. It's more or less what I'm aiming to do, and it feels quite slow. Really, the past few years feel like a snails pace but when I look back to ten years ago I can see how far I've come. The difference between then and now is where a shift in my priorities.

 

Have had those thoughts and feelings too. They can become a cycle that can be difficult to get out of. Presently I’m in that boat, as I’m unemployed and the circumstances under which my last employment finished won’t be included in my next cv (was let go due to not been a good communicator)
A positive self affirmation that I sometimes use is knowing that I’m on the path of beating porn. I don’t base my whole self worth on that one hook, but I still view beating porn as an accomplishment.

 

I don't know exactly what it is that u want to be doing. But are you moving towards that? Am I the only one who is going to realise the Truth? Of course not. Many have come before me and turned their life's upside down. Just so that they can do what their hearth desires. Everyday I go about expressing myself in a new way. Because that's what drives me.

 

me too i feel like this sometimes. i have ups and downs but i cheer myself up always. having quit for good my addictions 8 months ago gave me hope and I never give up. what makes me feel the best if when i am at my gym. I feel good and very positive. I recommend you that too

 

I have experienced this feeling over and over again. It’s just what you do about it. And I tell you, everybody is lonely, everybody is lost. I’ve spent the last couple of years around people all the time and i probably was lonlier than ever at that point. We tend to confuse distraction with not being lonely. Find what u love, reading, sports, music, dancing ...the loneliness stops when u stop thinking about being lonely and just start to stuff without thinking who is with you. Good luck, you will get there!

 

You are me.

I have this exact same problem. Negative thinking that cripples you, and doesn't let you think you can do anything at all.

What helps me is, I visualise a personality I admire or respect, and imagine that's me.

(I know, its a bit silly, but trust me,it helps)
Like for example, I will visualise that I am like James Bond. That I'm wearing good clothes, I'm looking good, everyone is in awe of me, and I'm in control of my life.

What I'm trying to do is, try to think myself into becoming like that and it has helped to some extent. Now I walk looking straight ahead, feel more confident, and was able to maintain my nofap streak till day 15.

It isn't much progress, but I'm on the way.

 

i wanna be able to walk with my head straight in the streets. sometimes i do when i do something i am really proud of but wanna walk with my head straight in front of people all the time

 

Visualise it. See it in your mind. Feel the emotions you would feel if you had just won the world's biggest award.

Here's how I think. I close my eyes, and then, I say to myself,

"I am awesome. I have an amazing body. I am a genius. I just won an award for being the most innovative person ever. I am wearing fancy clothes that make me look and feel awesome. I am so good, the ladies cant' resist looking at me."

And don't just think, feeeeeeel. You have to feel it in your mind as if you're already it.

Trust me, it'll help. I can vouch for it at least when it comes to standing up straight and looking people in the eyes.

 

There is another way. A way that recognizes that there IS something missing in each one of us, that all mankind has a God-given longing in their heart that leads them to Him. This is the path i follow - where my sense of emptiness and loneliness become the very fingerprints of God. And from this perspective I can embrace difficulty and thank God for it (in my better moments anyway).

 

I get a similar thought pattern sometimes, and I'm going through it right now, which is partly why I'm here. It's more concrete than what you describe: what I'm thinking is specifically wrong is that I tend to put people (women particularly, even when I'm not interested in closer personal relations) at unease, and will not be able to by any means make this stop. Think of when you hear or read of someone "giving off creepy vibes" or the like; I worry that that's me and I can't change it. And what's more, I'm in the pattern of thinking this will limit my career and my development of close friendships, and will completely prevent me from finding a life partner (and in turn, family life). In other words, I cannot avoid a future of limited career success, with few if any friends, and completely devoid of a life partner or family, regardless of what I do in an attempt to prevent such outcome.

Of course, what I wrote about above is due to negative feelings, not reasoning based on what I know. Though I know that I can't rule out the outcome I described as a possibility, based on what I know it's much more reasonable to conclude that it is possible to improve my chance of career and partnership success through deliberate action than that it isn't. That's why I'm making an effort to quit time-wasting habits (primarily browsing the web) and PMO and to replace them with healthier and more productive activities. But sometimes it's a struggle to think in this way rather than as in the previous paragraph.

 

I would strongly recommend reading a book called "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D Burns. Its a book that helped me when I was going through the exact same thing.

 

That's what makes us unique and so amazing as individuals. Also I think we can get to self-obsessed and not realize that pretty much everyone has flaws just as bad as ours.

 

I just read this, about the "Kaizen" approach. This is awesome, especially for an impatient fuck such as myself! Thank you so much for sharing this, yukon! It's been bookmarked and will be read again!

 

Everyone is broken in some way. Question is, are you willing to accept that or fix it?

Personally I don't mind going for it all the way. As a human being, nothing makes me happier than striving to discover my full potential every day. To find out what I'm made of. I'm continuously discover where my full potential lies.

Its the only way I know I'll be satisfied.