Getting married but still struggling... Help :(

So, according to some people, a real man entering a marriage should lie and simply never PMO again... it's so immature and contradictive with reality.
First, marriage is a place where two people trust each other for the rest of their lives. There will be lies, but they won't have such a destructive nature (e.g. You forgot about our anniversary, but you won't admit it.). If addiction is a part of your current life, not telling about it would be a lie that can destroy the marriage. You're not protecting her feelings. You're making fun of them.
Second, you'll never PMO again... I won't even comment on that further.
Really, people who claim otherwise are still childish, not manly. They objectify their loved one's feeling. "Ow, she might dump me after I tell her. I must protect her feelings." There's something so wrong in such thinking it makes me want to vomit (since we're on that track).

 

It's actually quite simple. There are two possbile scenarios:

His consumption of porn is not going to affect his marriage.
His consumption of porn is going to affect his marriage.

If it's the first, telling his fiance/wife about it is not necessary, because it simply doesn't affect her.
If it's the latter, he should let her know that he has a problem. How he does that and when he does it, is up to him.

I understand that people care about the feelings of the other person involved, but if his "addiction" affects the well-being of his wife her feelings will be hurt anyway. If his silence about the matter is to protect his own feelings (which is more likely), then that's a bit selfish.

If there is something wrong with the woman I am about to marry (that might affect the marriage), I would like to know it in advance also. Even if it would make me want to vomit.

 

Vomit all you want but nofap is no place for division and recism mr European preferably it’s about love acceptance and unity from all walks of life

 

Everyone has the right to vomit because of what's been said, but nothing @roadtofreedomatlast has said in that post can be labelled as racism.

 

You are right my friend however if you read his threads he is starting an accountability group and in his thread he asked that they be preferably white. It’s not racism sorry, just discrimination. I started not to pay it any kind, but we need love an cooperation to the highest degree in this place. The said part is that a Hindu gentleman felt deterred by asking to join. What if that one guy was seeking refuge and was denied because of his nationality falls into depression and kills himself because he didn’t have the support when he sought it? That is my final word on the ordeal.

 

My wife said she would wanna know but wouldn’t marry your ass

 

Lol. OP should take this scenario into consideration as well. Haha.

 

Sometimes the other side of the coin isn’t all happy and singing dancing’s and flowers. You must know you have a lot of danger chasing you and a lot to loose. Porn addiction can cause sickness poverty and the loss of true love. We all talk about the benefits but the dangers are deadly when you continue messing around with porn after you know the consequences is deadly there is no grace only SUFFERING. And guess what YOU caused it Because you knew better

 

Alright, we had some fun here. I understand that it is a serious issue for the OP. @Youraveragelds, I have zero personal experience when it comes to this matter, so take my prior words with a grain of salt. There are some female members here that actually went through this: @AnonymousAnnaXOXO and @GG2002. Their experience makes their advice more valuable.