Getting crushes on people...

I'm the exact same way... I'm the guy who sees a beautiful girl out somewhere and starts imagining our wonderful future together... meanwhile in real life I can't even muster up the courage to say something to her to even have a chance of getting to know her haha

 

That's an important insight. With some practice it will become easier to remember And then you will also be more relaxed and able to talk to them if you like to.

 

Worst also you may overlook redflags they have because your infatuation with them. Some women are losers too. You'll realize later you dodged a bullet..

 

This is really a problem not with women, but with fantasy. It's not the woman walking by that's emitting some magic force that makes you horny. When we fantasize in our heads a scenario with her we are using escape behavior. We use fantasy to escape things like depression, anxiety, feelings of inferiority, anger, frustration, boredom, etc.... When you practice recognizing fantasy in your life you can learn to stop it. When you stop using fantasy you'll see that you aren't just a dog with no control over what triggers you. You actually DO have control, and when you learn to exercise that control, you feel so much better about yourself and about life.

 

Sounds like you already know what the solution is.

 

I can well relate to this but with some guys - rather than women - heh heh.

Although on the OTHER hand, some people think that if someone is good-looking they MUST also be a jerk, which is not necessarily true either.

But, yeah, I understand that wanting to put the brakes on when I get a crush, put the brakes on those strong feelings while I get to know the actual person. (And finding it VERY hard to DO that and not let my feelings run away with me.)

 

I don't know if you're still out there, but I've noticed this thing I call "preoccupation" and that can also be called a "crush." It's when I think often about a certain woman and just can't get over her looks, body, face. It's nuts! And weirdly, when I have a good nofap streak going, it gets worse! All that free floating hunger, longing, desire, horniness gets someone aimed at one or two women. (Instead of ALL women, which I suppose is a good thing). I've noticed that for me, no matter who triggers it, it's always the same feeling of arousal and longing. The exact same. Only the faces change. I'm still working on this.