Getting back on track

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Hugoalsace, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    I've relapsed badly over the last few months after my best run of abstinence in years (just over a month with nofap). I need to try something new so I'm trying to keep a journal, day by day to see if it can help me finally beat this terrible addiction.

    This poisonous addiction has become my hobby and I need to stop before I lose my wife and daughter. Wish me luck...
     
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  2. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day One
    Really positive start, although day one is always pretty easy in my experience.
    I have deleted all my accounts at the porn sites I visit and feel genuinely optimistic about the long road ahead.
    I have some free time just now and I'm listening to the football on the radio (my team won) and writing here instead of watching porn on my phone.
    Hopefully I can keep this up and avoid the triggers that lead to a relapse. I will also meditate before I go to bed in a bid to get that back up and running. All is good this far but it's one small baby step and I can't let my guard down
     
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  3. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day Two
    Back at work today and didn't get home until 1am so there hasn't been much temptation to relapse.
    It's about breaking habits for me as I always watched porn when my wife was asleep and I got in late from work.
    Tonight, I have come straight on here to post instead and hopefully this can become a new habit. I will now also do some mediation before bed. Another day down but bigger challenges lie ahead
     
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  4. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day Three
    Working all day and my wife was still awake when I got home so pretty easy to resist any temptation. Keeping busy can keep those urges at bay.
     
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  5. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 4
    First test today as some bad football results soured my mood. I've often responded to this by watching porn when I get home but I managed to resist this time. Helped by the fact my wife was still awake when I got home but I would have avoided it anyway as there's a new determination about me. I want to beat this, although tougher tests lie ahead
     
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  6. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 5
    Been a strange day. First real sign of withdrawal symptoms kicking in. Found myself checking out almost every remotely good looking woman I saw today. But I realised why I was doing it, the porn addiction, so I was able to rationalise it while I was doing it. You'd think that would have stopped me after the first instance but I just carried on doing it all day. Shows what this addiction can do to your brain.
    Managed to avoid porn though, even after my wife went to bed early with my daughter. That's usually the cue for a 2-3 hour porn binge but instead I watched TV for a bit, meditated and went to bed. Another step in the right direction on a long road ahead
     
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  7. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 6
    Fewer urges today, probably because I've been quite busy. Played football in the morning and I've always found sport and exercise a help when trying to stay away from porn. Was my best game for a while and maybe it's because my mind is clearer and I'm more rested, having stayed away from porn.
    Was with my family the rest of the day and I'm feeling much closer to both my wife and daughter as I continue this nofap streak.
    Before I would hope my wife would take our daughter to bed so she would fall asleep with her and leave me free to indulge my addiction.
    But tonight I read the bedtime story and it felt so nice.
    Hopefully I can see how much better my life is without porn but, having lapsed before after much longer runs if nofap, I understand that I can't let my guard down
     
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  8. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 7
    So, I've made it to a week. Pretty big landmark as I've not reached it much in the past three months.
    Much clearer mind, feeling healthier and having better relationships with those close to me.
    Let's see if I can get another week under my belt
     
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  9. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 8
    Pretty big test today as I got home at midnight to find my wife and daughter fast asleep.
    The devil on my shoulder wanted me to go back to old habits but I managed to shut him out and let my rational mind win the day. Positive sign going forward
     
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  10. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 9
    Huge progress made today. Found myself alone all morning with my daughter at school and my wife on a course. This would usually lead to hours of porn consumption but for once I managed to resist temptation.
    Instead I just watched TV and did some cooking, proving I can be left alone and not turn straight to porn. Very pleased with myself
     
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  11. pp7711

    pp7711 Fapstronaut

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    Just read your journal. Well done. Post on here everyday whenever an urge hits. I'd rather read your posts every day than think you have succumbed to the urges.

    Your life will improve without p.
     
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  12. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your kind words. Been a great start so far, just need to keep it up.
    Ps: love the Zidane pic for the profile
     
  13. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    Day 10
    Working all day and my wife was awake when I got home so a pretty straightforward day in the battle against addiction. Onwards and upwards.
     

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