Get educated, get tools, and learn to love withdrawals

Hello you guys, hello William,

I asked myself the question 'what is the difference between a porn fantasy and a healthy sex fantasy?' or 'what is sexual fantasy about for a healthy mind?'. Maybe nobody can answer this. Anyway, I realized that such question are not of importance for me right now. I have to do the hard90 first! Thanks to the consistent and impressive teaching of William I'm now determined to do it hard mode (no P, no subs, no M). - And I want to give credit also to Underdog and countless Fapstronauts who helped and taught me.
Because I will still have sex now and then won't even be that hard for me as to other people, nevertheless I feel like having made the first couple steps on the foot of a huge mountain. Actually I'm doing 175 days hardmode and I've set strict internet restrictions for this period of time, which are simply necessary to keep me from relapsing.

However, it would be nice to hear what a fully rebooted guy can tell us about his sexual fantasies. I mean, even if you quit masturbation NoArousal can't be forever, right?

 

Hi Jodo Kus. ou are absolutely right. Do the Hard 90 first, get rebalanced, rebooted, then try and figure out what your normal is. As for sexual fantasies, it is difficult for a newbie rebooter/porn-induced-dopamine-addict to accept and understand that while thinking of sex from time to time is normal, using hypersexual thoughts to ride a dopamine high is not. When we quit porn, we change our lives, our lifestyles. A normal guy does think about sex, but not all day, every day. You are not just giving up porn, you are giving up the powerful and prolonged dopamine high that comes with it. Even real sex, which will become great again, cannot give you that much of a dopamine high, or for that long. We are not built, naturally, to be ridding that high as much as porn allows for, and, naturally, we are wired to ride it much, much less. Tomorrow I will be three years clean. I don't count anymore, but I am aware of that date. At a certain point, which I call the tipping point, during the reboot, you will begin to want to NOT watch porn, not get that high, more than you want to. That is when freedom starts to get easy, and Jodo, I promise you, out there in the future is a place where quitting gets easy.

Peace.

William

 

Thank you for your supportive words! Without this forum I wouldn't be able to see clear. It's easy for me to stay a couple of days clean. And PMO'ing every 5, 6 days is just fine for my brain (but then it with a binge). But quitting is on another level. I guess there are many pornaddicts out there who have it much more under control than me and therefor may not see the whole problem. But for a guy like me there's just no other option than quitting completely.
To everybody who wants to make progress I recommend: control what you can control and don't try to control what you can't control.

 

Will I AM. Broadcasting. I am free. My chains are off. I am broadcasting to the slave for whom the idea of ever becoming free is a fairly tale story. I am telling you, you can take off your chains. I promise.

OK. Today I count myself three years clean. I don't post in the Success Stories because I do not believe being free from porn addiction makes me, or anyone, a success. I believe being free from porn addiction makes success in the rest of our lives possible. I am also glad that this thread is back home in the Porn Addiction forum. (It has been moved, twice, to the Rebooting Forum, before being moved back). This forum is, of all the forums here, the most relevant, and maybe the only relevant one. There is only one reason for anyone to be here, reading this, and that is if you are a porn addict and you are struggling to get that monkey off your back.

The big three words are the place to start, and if you cannot or will not say them, you might as well go back to surfing whatever got you here in the first place. The big three words are: "I am addicted." If you wonder if you are, but are not certain, if you are not certain porn addiction is possible, you are not ready. I have never seen a porn addict get clean unless they state the three words to themselves, and why would they? If you are not, actually, addicted, if you do not believe the addiction exists, you probably don't think you have a problem. And, maybe you don't. Not every guy who watches porn is a porn addict, but, more and more, every day, are reporting they are.

The first thing is, study what porn addiction is and is not.

The best video for studying it is Gary Wilson's "The Great Porn Experiment." Here it is:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

Gary has other vids, but the one above is the best. Porn addicts have short attention spans, and even though it is 16 minutes long, it covers the big points in a relatively short time.

So, one of the first things we learn, in studying our addiction, is that we are not, really, addicted to porn. Looks like it, sounds like it, but no. We are addicted to dopamine. Here is the way is works: see high speed internet porn = hypersexual thoughts, hypersexual thoughts = super dopamine rush, over and over, every day, for years, until the addiction form, and the "addiction" is really only becoming super sensitive to porn thoughts, while becoming super desensitized to actual sex and reality.

There is more to it than that, of course, but that is the simple version.

So, if you want to quit, here is what to do in the order to do it.

1) Study the problem. Get Educated. Take time to watch the Wilson vid. I have watched it, or some part of it, I estimate 200 times. Also, go to yourbrainonporn.com and read. Read it all. Before you start to get clean, to quit, take time to understand what you have been using porn to do to yourself and your brain. Porn addiction can seem like a life sentence, an epic problem, that many guys do not believe is possible to quit. Namekian23 posted only yesterday he thinks it is impossible to quit. But, one purpose of studying the problem is to make what seems like an epic, overwhelming, disaster in your life, a much smaller problem. You don't have a sex problem, you don't have God v. Evil problem; your problem has very little, possibly no moral component. You have a brain chemistry problem that is actually cause and effect, and, actually simple to understand. You have to quit using porn to give yourself a dopamine high. That is a much more fixable problem than seeking salvation.

2) Understand what you are doing, what you must do, to overcome the problem. Wilson says it, but it is easy for him to say because he is not addicted. You have to quit. There is no quitting gradually. There is no paring back. You cannot take a calendar and say, for instance, you will not use on Sunday week one, Sunday and Monday, week two, Sunday Monday and Tuesday, week three, and hope that by the end of week seven you are fixed. It does not work that way, it just does not, and most addicts could never do that anyway. Ultimately, there are two types of addicts, those using, and those not. The ones not are quitting. The only way to be successful in quitting porn addiction, which is really porn induced dopamine addiction, is to have the mindset "I am quitting." Probably, more realistically, the mindset to have is "I am quitting, and if it kills me to quit, or if I have to feel like the walking dead, every moment I am conscious, for the rest of my life, I am willing to feel that to never go back to how I was." You won't feel that for the rest of your life, but, during the reboot, will lie to you and tell you you will. Also, while here, focus on one problem, quitting porn. Don't try and bundle all of life's problem into quitting the porn addiction, and do not believe overcoming the addiction will fix other problems. The most successful rebooters are here for one purpose, to fix the problem, and the most efficient way to fix the problem is to focus on fixing this one problem. Fix this problem first, then, afterward, worry about the other problems, but, while here, fixing this problem, put the others on the shelf.

3) Anticipate and mentally prepare for Withdrawals. If quitting were easy it would not be called an addiction. If you could just stop, like that, it would not be called an addiction. Why is it an addiction? It is an addiction because a dopamine rush feels about as good as anything can in this life. It is that way by nature's design, it is a motivational feeling, a euphoric feeling, that, ultimately, is one of the bit carrots nature uses to encourage us to reproduce, to have sex. That is why porn is so fascinating, it gives us sexual thoughts, which gives us dopamine. When you ride that high for years and one day take it away, you will have Withdrawals. These were some of the most horrible feelings I have ever had, and you will probably have them also. Plan on them going in, don't be the guy who shows up here, starts a thread, and states "So glad to be here, I am done for good, I am quitting," and then three hours has to clear his counter. That guy did not plan, that guy did not anticipate the physical, mental, and emotional pain of removing the absolutely needless crutch porn is. You are not a cripple, you don't that crutch, no matter how great it feels.

4) Make a plan. The first and best plan is to reboot, which is consciously rewiring your brain. We unconsciously wired the brain to use porn to get that dopamine high. To overcome the addiction, we have to think about it. You will need to plan on doing, at least, the hard 90. I did not, myself, feel confident saying I had beat the problem until about 120 days in. During the hard 90 you have to redefine who and what you are. If you are a newbie you have to define yourself as "a porn addict quitting porn, forever." Is it really forever? That is up to every individual, but, getting that mind set will be helpful, I promise you. If, in your mind, you are only quitting for 90 days, that implies you might go back. That thought, "I might go back", and very easily become, "what not go back a bit early," or "what can a little taste hurt". It is a slippery slope, and no porn addict I know of, in the reboot, has ever watched porn and not slid all the way back down to the bottom. There is a way out, but, get out first before asking yourself what you want to do with your life, including whether you want any artificial sexual stimulation at all in it.

5) Get tools to help yourself make it through the hard 90. Plan on coming here and posting, every day, multiple times a day. Being here, posting, reading, is doing something other than the one thing you have to quit doing: using artificial sexual stimulation to get a dopamine high. Plan on being around people as much as possible, preferably in a crowd. Plan on going to the gym, to the mall, when the urges hit, and they will, have a plan on how you are going to get out of the house or wherever you engage the addiction. Plan now, so the plan is in place then. Needless to say, get rid of any stash. I never understood stashes, with the availability of porn on the net, but some guys do it. If you are one, get rid of it. If you have a smart phone, and are accessing it to get to porn, get a dumb phone. It is only for the reboot, so you can get it back later. As for the net, install blockers and the like. You will, probably, not make it impossible to get to porn on your computer, but, if you are serious about quitting, you can make it somewhat difficult. Make it somewhat difficult. It is a deterrent, but also a reminder. Many were the days when I was quitting that the blocker prevented me from getting, instantaneously, to porn. Those moments did not stop me, ultimately, from getting porn, but they gave me a moment to do something that in the beginning newbies quitting find difficult to conceive as being possible; they gave me a moment to make a choice, and the choice had to be no, no, no, no. In those first 90 days I bet I said "no" 10,000 times. Now, I rarely say no, because the choice is so easy: No, I choose not to watch porn and have the dopamine rush that comes with it. It is not a choice for me anymore, which is where it became easy. I don't have to tell my addiction no anymore because, having rebooted, it no longer asks me to watch porn. Develop a distraction technique. This goes hand in hand for having an alternate something to do when the urges come, as an alternative to using. Some guys wear a rubber band on their wrist and snap it when the urges come. I sucked my tongue off the top of my mouth, made a little clicking sound, while mentally saying "no, no, no." I don't recommend meditation a spiritual way, but a deep breathing technique, to distract yourself, might be helpful. Though porn has a powerful pull, it does not take that much to break the thought of it. Develop a distraction technique to avoid a 2 second porn thought from becoming a 30 minute sex opera in your head. One of the things that really cripple a lot of newbies in the reboot is the failure to understand that a dopamine high is released in response to sexual thoughts alone. Of course, during the reboot, we totally cut out PMO, but that alone will not get you to clean if, during the reboot, you are allowing yourself to have big moments of sexual thought, or fantasy. Remember, what you are actually doing during the reboot is going 90 days while trying to do something you will hate and your brain will punish you for: taking your brain's dopamine response back to pre-porn levels. Once you get them back to that, and they have been there for a while, keeping them there becomes much easier, meaning you won't miss it, and your brain will quit punishing you for not feeding the dopamine monster.

6) Accept and embrace you are changing your life. You have been living a porn lifestyle. You might not think of it that way. Until porn becomes a problem in our lives, it is not a problem. However, once it is a problem, it is a problem. It is a problem you actively engaged in, every day, multiple times a day, for years. When you stop that, you are literally changing the daily pattern of your life, meaning there will be, possibly, hours, every day, to fill, doing nothing or anything but watching porn. I know, when I was addicted, one of the first things I did in the morning was make a plan on how I was going to get my fix, which usually meant asking myself when I was going to be alone to do it. When you quit the porn life, you will have a different life. Not, necessarily, better, but no doubt different. You have to plan on that. Find other people, and help them in some way. Open a door for them, carry their groceries in, be polite. Quitting of porn is done most successfully by persons who simultaneously re-engage with reality. The whole purpose in quitting is to re-engage. So, find a reason to go help someone and help them. How do we help ourselves? We help ourselves by helping someone else. Go find someone to help.

 

Thanks for your clear info especially about withdrawel. As a newbie I feel better prepared!

 

hi william,thank you so much for this post... IT gives me so much confidence and also a fear like what if i go back to it,even after knowing its negative effects,even after reading this..... It fears me.. I have made my mind before like for 15 days,11,9,6... days .. But i never quit it completely... Every single time i slaps myself i shuld not do this,this is ruining my life i shuld come out from this.. Ill be on my way to quit,but suddenly the triggers will starts to hit me somehow like after seeing a girl in newspaper/facebook/twitter.It somehow penetrates into my mind with lust,this will lead me to relapse...
William brother please tell me the exact way to overcome this triggers,i want to quit completely..I need to be like you,i need to achieve my dreams.. I NEED TO BE A MAN.. not a pussy who is afraid to see or talk to girls or make an eye contact... I need come out of this plz help me brother... becoz of this i cannot pray to god, if i close my eyes to pray pornographic images keeps roaming around my head.. Its been 5-6 years im Masterbating to porn.. This also caused me for premature ejaculation.
I should quit....
Ur post was like GOD thing for me to understand myself that finally someone is very helfpful.. plz reply brother ..

 

I said the words "I am addicted" about 3 years ago and that was when I began my journey. During that time I had quite a few good "streaks". One was even 120 days but it was not a "hard 90" like William has mentioned. Sexual thoughts, P substitutes and M were all there in that 120 streak so it is no wonder that I relapsed. I never did get back to that level. 20, 30 day streaks here and there but nothing big. My addiction was still there, lurking in the shadows however I was still reaping the rewards of the drastically decreased amount of PMO during those 3 years compared with the previous 15 years. Within that 3 year period, my intelligence, confidence, physical health and overall masculinity felt superhuman. I feel now I am reaching my potential, my true self and I wonder what my life could have been like if I was not addicted to Porn during my high school and uni years. I feel I let the crucial teenage period where my brain was still maturing go to waste.

The past is the past. I'm happy now and I am achieving my goals.

Currently Day 21 of the "hard 90".

I abused porn for 15 years. I've got another 12 more years to bring the ledger in balance. This thread is so crucial to me. I have read 1 page a day. It's worked so well that I'll be using this as my daily ritual every time I go to bed. Now that I've read all 22 pages I'm going back to page 1 and reading it all again.

 

Very helpful stuff on this thread. I've already seen in just a couple days that my dopamine craving brain is trying to get me to cave. Even thumb scrolling through non-porn social media like my FB feed is giving me a little hit (which means I need to cease that too, at least for now while I'm rebooting). After watching Gary Wilson's TED talk, the FB "relief" makes sense. Thumb scrolling is all about novelty, about "what's next?" I think it's a lot like drinking lite beer while trying to stop drinking Tequila. I have to acknowledge that dopamine is dopamine. If I really want my brain to get back to normal levels, I think I need to avoid ALL self-induced dopamine doses. So I'm getting off FB and social media too - at least for 2 weeks. This is probably gonna make my dopamine withdrawal more severe - but also (hopefully) more short-lived.

 

Follow up. Already been back on FB. And was scoping out some girls at work, and trying to figure out a way to snap a pic I could obsess over later. Damn, this shit don't wanna let me loose! I'm praying for strength, cause I obviously need more than I've got.
No PMO, but I keep finding my thoughts wandering in that direction. Focus!

 

Hi Guys. Thanks for all the kind words. How do we help ourselves? We help ourselves by helping others. So, if you are an addict, struggling to overcome this, do yourself a favor; go out and help someone in some way. You do not believe me now, but I promise you, that simple act of being kind to some other human being, of connecting with another person (as opposed to pixels) will help.

A new article is making a few waves:

http://fsu.ca/interrobang.php?storyID=9407

I don't buy it, but it is a discussion point, if anyone would like to comment. My thoughts:

I feel the article begins with a false premise, and that is the claim that Gary claims porn causes mental illness. He does not. What he says, and what the science shows, is that human beings have evolved to "like" thinking about sex. Evolution, actually, explains so much about us. Have you thought about why you "like" something? Why do certain foods taste good, others bad? Why do certain smells feel good to us, while others are repulsive? Why are certain sounds shocking, while others are soothing? What is the nature of liking or disliking a thing? A lot of it has to do with evolved responses to our environment in relation to ourselves.

When Gary describes humans becoming "fascinated" with sex in early puberty, he is describing how we like thinking about it. Why do we like thinking about it? We like thinking about it because the more we think about it, the more likely we are to do it, and the more likely we are do to it, means reproduction becomes more likely. That part of our brain that evolved to encourage reproduction, encourages reproduction by rewarding sexual thoughts, and, ultimately, sex, with a dopamine rush. In this context, think of dopamine not just as a pleasure rush, but as a motivational neurotransmitter. The key word is "motivational." We get that dopamine rush not only with sex, but, for most of, to a lesser extent, when eating a satisfying meal, especially if we are fairly hungry. There are people who have eating disorders, who, like us, just cannot seem to get enough of the dopamine rush eating gives them.

I feel Winters may have been a bit set up in his comments, as if maybe the writer called him up and said "Gary Wilson says porn makes people mentally ill." It does not. Gary never said it did. Nor does Gary encourage porn to "hide in the shadows;" quite the contrary, he is trying to make the study of porn on the human brain mainstream.

The unconscious use of High Speed Internet Porn is a tool many of us use to get that dopamine rush. Have you ever asked yourself why a thing "feels good" or why it "feels bad?" Getting a dopamine rush, for most of us, feels great; if it did not, we would not like it. Have you ever asked, "why do I like watching porn?" Why do you? You like it because you like the feeling it gives you, and that feeling is a dopamine rush. Liking a dopamine rush is something we evolved to do as a means of encouraging reproduction, but before HSIP we had not invented a way to get that rush so profoundly and for so long. Porn allows us to get it, even more so than sex. Some of us like it so much that we use HSIP daily, multiple times a day, for years, and in doing so we, essentially, train our brains to prefer that means of getting it over reality, over sex. For that group of people, porn becomes even more "interesting" than sex, and that is where, for some, their boats quit floating when it is time to get real, and only work when in front of a screen.

While Gary Wilson's work is breaking new ground, its basic premise is not very profound, and, actually, is the basis of neurosciene: There is a reason we "like" certain things, and that is because liking certain things encourages certain behavior that nature, via evolution, wants to encourage. The dopamine pleasure reaction, in the brain, seems mostly to encourage perpetuation and survival of the human species by encouraging the two things most important to the species: surviving (eating) and reproducing (sex). Not very romantic, but there it is. This is not rocket science, after all.

 

Gary Wilson just published what I believe to be a landmark paper on the science of porn addiction. I think anyone who is addicted must study the problem, in order to understand the problem, and overcome it. So, I suggest making a cup of coffee or tea, blocking about 45 minutes, and read it. Take time to understand your problem. It is not just your problem, many people have this problem. You are not alone. It may seem like it, but you are not.

http://www.mdpi.com/2076-328X/6/3/17/htm

Peace.

WilliamOneAndDone

 

I've been reading around here for about an hour and I'm finding the success stories really inspiring. So many of the symptoms that have been mentioned - anxiety, ED, brain fog - I've gone through at some point or I'm still going through. Reading that people have not only overcome these, but have gotten back in touch with their humanity and become better than they were before, well that's icing on the cake. This post is pure gold and I hope it stays up for a long, long time.

Also, I am on day 2 of no PMO. 88 to go. Lol.

 

It almost doesn’t matter if you’re an addict or not, because using porn will fuck you up no matter what. That’s the point here. If using porn in moderation was an okay alternative, I would do that. But unfortunately, using any porn will negatively affect your life. That’s the problem. It’s not like having a drink once in a while is okay for non addicts. It’s not the case with porn. Using any porn even if it’s just once in a blue moon, will negatively affect your life: either your confidence, self esteem, sex drive, emotional state, romantic relationships, loneliness, anxiety, depression, intimacy, lack of intimacy. It might just be one of these, it might be all of them. That’s the issue. This is beyond being an addict. It’s about it being toxic on every level. Even if you just used it once a year. It would still impact your life in a bad way. If you’re an addict, it makes it all the more difficult and challenging.

 

Great piece William, has given me understanding on the question i asked about there being an underlying issue to porn addiction. This will surely help me handle my withdrawals better.

 

Hi, thanks for the kind posts.

I get asked, a lot, about the intersection of just MO, not PMO, and dopamine rushes.

Follows is, pretty much, my standard reply.

First of all, you are doing the right thing by asking questions. To get to the answers, to understand who and what we are, we first have to ask questions.

So, we all like that feeling. Liking that feeling is not right or wrong, there is no more a moral element to it than enjoying a milkshake, it is just how we are wired. When I say "that is how we are wired", I mean, how most life on the planet is wired, not just humans.

Dopamine, the dopamine rush, the dopamine high, is there because it encourages us to have that feeling, that we like so much. When I say we "like" the feeling, we all "like" the feeling, because we all like a dopamine rush. That is the thing we like. You have asked the question in terms of masturbation, but the dopamine rush has a much bigger purpose in most life, as in most species, on the planet, and that is to encourage, or motivate, reproduction. Gary Wilson, and most of the scientists that agree with him (and more do every day) describe the dopamine rush in terms of the brain's sexual reward center. The dopamine rush is a "reward" for thinking about sex, and thus encourages the real deal. In that sense, think of dopamine, and the rush we feel from it, as motivational. Dopamine is a motivational neurotransmitter, the long term purpose of which is, in us, and many other species, to encourage the species to reproduce.

But humans are not every other speices. We are smart. Maybe too smart. We have figured out ways to get that rush that do not have much to do with actual reproduction. Unlike most species, we can engage in recreational sex, meaning sex for the fun of it, not merely reproduction. When I say "sex for the fun of it", I mean sex just for the dopamine rush. From there, it is not a far leap to understand we can also engage in non-sexual behavior, or the use of artificial sexual behavior, or artificial sexual stimulation, to get a dopamine rush. This is very problematic in terms of High Speed Internet Porn, which allows us to abuse our dopamine reward system to the point of addiction.

As for MO, I personally think that is much less problematic, and, as a species, we were able to do that for thousands of years before we invented HSIP, and I know of no reported instances of MO addiction. That said, there is a big BUT to that statement. The BUT is this: If you have become addicted to HSIP, you need to totally quit MO during the reboot, and you need to do a hard mode reboot, to fix the problem. Once the problem is fixed, after the reboot, once you have desensitized to HSIP, then ask yourself who and what you want to be, meaning do you want to use MO to get a dopamine high, or not? Do you want to engage in non sexual behavior to get a dopamine rush? And, for anyone reading this, "non sexual behavior" includes MO becuase if it is not actual sex, it is non sexual behavior. But, get clean first. The first, best, use of this forum is not to make this forum your lifestyle, for life. It is to use this formum as a tool, to make it your lifestyle during the reboot, and once you have rebooted and are clean, to go out and figure out what you want to do with your life. This place is a tool. Use it as such. And, don't be afraid of the dopamine rush, just take time to understand that it is natural, and can be great, but can also be abused. Take time to study it, but do not fear it, just know that, ultimately, every choice you make, is a choice YOU make. Don't let that dopamine rush be in charge.

Thanks for all the kind words, from everyone. How do we help ourselvee? We help ourselves by helping others. Go out and find someone to help today. I promise you will be rewarded. Kindness is the greatest trait anyone can exhibit. If you are reading this and you have the problem, go find someone to be kind to. The problem many of us has results in the opposite of empathy. Go find someone and be empathetic with them. Look it up. It is time to take off your chains, come out of your shell, and do something many of us find difficult, terrifying, and even painful: Get out in the world and live life. Go!

Peace.

WILL

 

Hi folks, hi William.

Since long I try to reboot my porn-infected mind. Right now I'm stuck. However I try to carefully recollect myself and I focus on mindfulness, good habits and helping others.

I watched so much porn and subs in the last weeks it's even hard to still dislike it (I have to strengthen my anti-porn thoughts). But I want the Reboot and I need it and it's just a question of time until I quit porn for good.

My approach is inspired by William and I always try to avoid not only artifical stimulation but also sexual fantasies. My approach is "No Arousal". Nevertheless I MO often and I don't take it too serious.
I also have sex with my gf but it has become very rare lately.

So my question is, do you think I can dare to make a new radical start to quit PMO and MO and triggers all together?
When I write this I think "yes", but maybe I overburden myself. Maybe I should rather make a step to step plan...
What do you think?

 

Hi Jodo. I think you must quit them altogether. Completely. For the hard 90. The trick is getting clean, first, before you try and figure out who and what you want to be, sexually. Remember, after you reboot, you can choose, when it feels like a choice. In the beginning, and for the active addict, it does not feel like a choice, it feels like something you have to do, you must do, something you cannot stop. But, I promise you, you can stop, and eventually, those compulsive feelings go away. I have not felt those compulsions for years. You have to retrain your brain. It's like training for a long distance run. It does not happen overnight, it takes weeks and months, and maybe years, to train for that, but once you are trained, you can do it. I know you can do it. I have absolute confidence in your ability to get clean. I know you will succeed. The thing is, I put this in terms of the hard 90, but here is the secret: Once you get clean, you will not ever want to go back, even if you know it might feel good, you will never want to be a slave again.

 

Thank you very much for your quick response, William, and for your confidence in me.
How to make it? - I still don't know. But your answer seems to say: focus on the goal. You say it's possible, you say it's worth it.
"Quit them all together" but "it's like training" - so I need to make progress with my streaks to reach finally the hard 90.
- A Vision of my goal (and the goal-reaching) and progress. And a more effective handling:

To resist the many temptations I need my reasons to quit always to be present. I have to be always ready to imply No Arousal: discontinue a tempting thought, closing a tempting picture or closing the screen, switching off the TV. I need much much training, I need to think many anti-porn, anti-arousal thoughts. Stuff like "I don't want to be a slave" and "it's just a thought/urge, don't fall for it" - I need to think it thousands of times. I have to make a sport of it, I must enjoy it more than giving in.

I've done that before. But to do it 90 days in a row seems to me like a marathon without drinking.

Yes, I understand. I must "quit breathing". I need to make it my top priority WITHOUT neglecting my important tasks and good habits.

I will print your answer and hang it on my wall. I will remind myself daily. I will continue to learn meditating and visualizing. I won't try to impress others with things I haven't achieved yet. I will go on even if that would mean I'm the most stupid, stubborn and ridiculous person in the World. I will even pray for strength and not to be tempted although I'm not a religious person.

My goal is to make the hard 90 before New Year. Maybe that's too ambitious. But I can only try.

 

We

Well done buddy - you are an inspiration ! if you can do it - I can do it. Day 54 - Hard mode on!

 

Lostso, anyone can do it, everyone here can do it. One of the tricks of doing it, and this is very difficult for a brand new newbie, is believing it can be done, because the idea of quitting porn addiction, that it could actually be done, that a guy could make the decision, and keep it, not to watch porn again, is an alien concept. A lot of guys, in the beginning, think it just cannot be done. It can be. One of the keys is to mentally, intellectually, demystify porn. Porn is one thing for a porn addict: a button we push to get a dopamine rush, and we love that rush. But once we understand we are just using porn to get out preferred high, it is much less interesting. Understanding the neurology of the addiction makes quitting the addiction easier, because then there is a "why" to the question of why do I like it so much.

Congrats on the 54 days. Keep going, porn is not an option. And keep posting, others need to know what you already know: Quitting porn CAN be done.

Much love.

Will I AM.