GeeWhizz - onward and upward!

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by GeeWhizz, Jan 19, 2018.

  1. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

    Well, I am writing this on the eve of my first complete week PMO free. I have never before, having tried many times in the past two years, made it to 7 days. The compulsion on the sixth day became overpowering and I just ended up caving.

    Having come to this internet community, everything seems different somehow. Having connected with other people, I believe, has made all the difference. Reading about the successes (and sometimes failures) has given me a lot of encouragement and hope to see the dogged determination of the Fapstronauts who inhabit this safe place.

    I have not yet found things difficult and have not had any urges since starting. I can only explain this (after having failed previously) by the fact that I have immersed myself in reading about sex addiction and recovering from it. There is a wealth of useful information on this web site which has been very helpful. Instead of rushing to my favourite porn site to see the "you know what", I have been going straight to Nofap to do some more reading. This has kept my mind off P and M completely.

    I have also made sure that I have never been alone in the house and at night not left alone in the living room after everyone else has gone upstairs to bed. It has also helped considerably to stay busy in free time by doing meaningful things like reading a good book, listening to music or working on some small project. That way boredom is kept at bay and the mind doesn't wander all over the place.

    I have been enormously encouraged by reading journal entries from people who have unselfishly taken the time to document their reboot. The value of this I believe is immeasurable. It is astonishing how many new members have signed up in the past week alone.

    I am almost 7 days clean and will now do a 7 day challenge to take another tiny step. I keep waiting for the bad stuff to happen - I'm sure it's just around the corner.

    Kudos to all!
  2. You can do it! One day at a time.
  3. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

  4. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

    Had a pretty good day today.

    I have achieved 7 days straight with no relapse. No urges, temptations or compulsion to do the old P and M. I feel good about this but am a bit bewildered as to how easy it has been compared to how I struggled to make 7 days in the past. I think the habit I'm trying to cultivate of not having any idle moments keeps my mind in the present and gives no opportunity for fantasizing. This is probably not the perfect solution but for now it seems to be working.

    I am rounding off my day by listening to some awesome jazz - Brian Blade and the Fellowship Band. Highly recommended.

    Thanks for reading.
  5. Protagoras

    Protagoras Fapstronaut

    Yep. You get rid of fantasy and you have half or more of the battle won. Great work.
  6. robertgianni1976

    robertgianni1976 Fapstronaut

    @GeeWhizz You're on the right track. Also, the fact that there are members on this forums that have been clean for more than 500 days is a great motivating factor.
  7. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    @robertgianni1976 , you're doing quite well yourself.
  8. I feel a bit like this today too. I’ve gotten up to 14 days, with what feels like relative ease compared to other times. I think, however, what makes all the difference is this community. The posting, the liking of posts & the general camaraderie plus reading other people’s journals & realising that we’re not alone. Porn thrives in the darkness. Bring it into the light & discuss it, and suddenly its potency is reduced.
  9. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

    On to day 8. Another good day.

    Sundays have historically not been good days for me because the lazy afternoons and feelings of loneliness and emptiness seemed to always lead to fantasizing and temptation which invariably resulted in PMO. Since beginning my reboot I have gone through two Sunday afternoons without even the slightest temptation to look at porn. For this I am thankful.

    As Robbo pointed out this is, without doubt, mostly to do with the influence of the people in this community - the constant encouragement, the positive feeling of being involved (even remotely) in people's lives and the common goal of working to achieve a porn free existence. This is certainly something which I can attest to as being the most helpful for me. I know that many of you reading this will agree.

    Physically, I have not yet experienced any of the often reported withdrawal symptoms like headaches, shivering or other effects. Mentally I am feeling OK. Writing this journal has become therapeutic and a kind of spiritual discipline. Thanks to those of you who encouraged me to do this - @Protogoras and @StopTheMusic to name just two.

    At church this morning I was able to (partially) help a fellow pilgrim in a small way with a family related problem. This made me realize what a selfish person I actually was. Here was a mother of three grown children (each with their own families) facing enormous challenges due to disillusionment and anger which is threatening to blow the whole family apart. I, on the other hand, have spent most of my life engaging in an activity which served my own gratification to the total exclusion of those I love the most. This is a very sad state of affairs and why it must stop.

    PMO is destructive because it gives pleasure to the self only. It's not how we've been designed. Engaging in PMO is a selfish activity. We do it in secret. It screws our brains up. No more. It's over. I'm so done with it.

    Thanks for all the encouragement, advice and likes.
  10. DoubleBurgerWithCheese

    DoubleBurgerWithCheese Fapstronaut

    Hey @GeeWhizz ,

    So very glad the journal is helping you. But, if I might be selfish, it's helping more than just you - it's helping me and I'm sure many others as well.

    When I came to NoFap, I read journals. I knew what I was looking for as this is not my only program of recovery. I was looking for "my story" being told by someone else. Why is that important to me? I don't know exactly.

    I do know there is a difference between simply knowing I'm not the only pmo addict and having read entries in journals that tell me story. Sometimes it's one entry, or one journal. Other times, it's multiple journal entries from different people that tell me story. It helps me. I'm so very bad at keeping my journal up, I try. But, I should do better. Because, it's about both giving and receiving.

    My journal has a title, "What it was like, what happened and what it is like now". That is not an original concept behind a journal. It's taken directly from the AA Big Book. Personal stories have been a part of that program since its founding in 1935 (so for a few 24 hours).

    Please keep up the journal, write in it when you are having an urge. Write in in when you are having a good day or a bad day. Write in it when life seems impossible or a dream come true. It all helps me and I hope others.

    * L
  11. Tt1000

    Tt1000 Fapstronaut

    Heyy buddy. That's amazing I too have started my journey. One day let's see how it goes
  12. Damaruz53

    Damaruz53 Fapstronaut

    Yes buddy, congrats on your 7 days clean and keep going :). I'm in this process too
  13. Hariom12

    Hariom12 Fapstronaut

    Hi brother, thank you
  14. xMan

    xMan Fapstronaut

    Thats Nice. Also My first week free for pmo, and i give the credits for the support of nofap members and education on the area. Looking forward to read more reflections from you
  15. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

    I am very pleased to announce that I have just reached double figures. 10 days!

    I didn't get around to making a journal entry yesterday - the family computer was in demand. Yesterday I found my mind, for the first time since starting this streak, bringing up erotic images from my past porn pastime. Previously I would have entertained these thoughts, let them develop into mental role playing, and before long I'd be looking at porn and masturbating (It actually hurts a bit to write that). But I was able to get past the temptation by not letting the thoughts take hold. Each time I was able to find a distraction. The sooner this is done the more effective it is I think. I realize that the line between success and failure in this enterprise is extremely thin and fragile, and that given different circumstances I may well fail. But I am determined not to let that happen. I will not be controlled any longer.

    Thanks for the encouragement @StopTheMusic, @Tt1000, @Damaruz53, @Hariom12 and @xMan. It's amazing how we are able to help each other in this way.
  16. Jim2015

    Jim2015 Fapstronaut

    Well done. You are growing stronger each day!!
    Deleted Account and GeeWhizz like this.
  17. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    Great work
    Deleted Account and GeeWhizz like this.
  18. Tt1000

    Tt1000 Fapstronaut

    Way to go! Stay strong
    Deleted Account and GeeWhizz like this.
  19. Damaruz53

    Damaruz53 Fapstronaut

    Congrats on your 10 days clean. Stay strong bro!
    Deleted Account and GeeWhizz like this.
  20. GeeWhizz

    GeeWhizz Fapstronaut

    Had another good day. Day 11. No trouble with the mind wandering probably because I was really busy. I have a more or less fixed routine in the mornings before work and also in the late afternoon and evenings. I have no periods in the day when I am at a loose end. This I believe has been a great help in my struggle to steer clear of pornographic images.

    Spending time here is also something which I have come to appreciate greatly. It has been said that to get rid of a bad habit one must replace it with a good one. I am committed to spending time on the NoFap platform and I think it is becoming a good habit. If any of you are having difficulty trying to resist the temptation to look at porn I urge you to immerse yourself in the NoFap community by reading journals and communicating with other Fapstronauts. The mutual encouragement is therapeutic and priceless.

    Thanks again to all of you who have chimed in on this thread.
    Deleted Account and Big Al O))) like this.

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