1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Gay sidekick's secrets for the straight guys?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by WasZeusWrong?, Sep 23, 2018.

  1. WasZeusWrong?

    WasZeusWrong? Fapstronaut

    145
    273
    63
    Hey, guys.

    I'm a gay man, 48 years old. Over the years, most of my closest friends have been women. It makes me sad to hear so many men here bemoaning the difficulties of meeting women because believe me -- the women are just as lonely, just as frustrated about not meeting potential partners, as you are.

    So, do you want to be the most desired man in the room? Take a jewelry-making class. Go to a museum lecture. Do chick shit! I'm not saying you have to act gay, but go meet the girls halfway. Think about your ideal woman. Where's she likely to hang out? What's she likely to do? A lot of women have given up trying to meet guys and have decided to have full lives by pursuing their own interests. But it doesn't mean they aren't still interested.

    A number of guys here have posted about their lack of sexual experience. But in my experience, most women aren't looking for Valentino. If you're nervous, tell them you're nervous. Most -- not all, but most -- will find it endearing. I know it's hard to understand (not saying that I do!), but most women seem to want a man who's both strong and vulnerable. Yeah, it's confusing. But if you can find the sweet spot between those two extremes, I bet you'll be nectar to the bees!

    Finally, when it comes to sex, I think women can be just as horny and pervy as men. The main difference, as I've seen it, is that men want intimacy to evolve out of (good) sex, whereas women generally need intimacy, and a feeling of being safe, connected, and not judged, before they'll get all freaky.

    OK, I hope I haven't presumed too much by offering this advice from my point of view. I'm certainly no expert in dating, overcoming loneliness, or making all my porn dreams come true in real life. I guess I've just heard about these things so much from the woman's perspective over the years, and now I'm reading about them from the straight man's perspective, and it really seems that both parties just need to make it happen!
     
  2. Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

    Thanks, I really appreciate this. Particularly that women are just as lonely as man and are searching as well.

    For some reason, often we tend to try and blame the world or push the blame for things outside of ourself.

    Maybe its because P is very safe, with no risk and talking and getting along with girls IRL is risky, awkward, can be painful and can go wrong - but the reward is soooooo much bigger!
     
    P-Free likes this.
  3. torrace

    torrace Fapstronaut

    Asexual virgin guy here who just got married.

    Totally agree with @WasZeusWrong? especially about meeting ladies in his quote above. Sometimes it can even be casual sports e.g. hiking, sport climbing, kayaking, white water rafting.
    It is definitely scary to put yourself out there. Chances are, those people who are there as well, are also as nervous as you.
     
    Buddhabro, Tannhauser and P-Free like this.
  4. HereAndThere

    HereAndThere Fapstronaut

    184
    270
    63
    One guy on this forum said: "Adopt leftist causes and appear passionate about them."

    True. Its like two people moving on the same road with different starting points, one at the time, and in opposite direction.
     
  5. Interesting input. Reminds me of a married man I knew years ago when I was still going to church.

    Included at the church were several single men and women. Us single men and the single women never connected. In fact we’d go out of the way to avoid each other.

    The married man told me when I visited his house one day:

    “I just don’t get it. I talk to the women and they say they want a guy. I talk to the guys and they say they want a woman. Why don’t you two groups interact? It’s like you’re scared of each other”.

    We were.

    So I think it’s fear that holds me and many other people back. I need to get past that fear.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2018
  6. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    You talking about those good women, With a heart. There are not many of them around us. Especially in the big city, sorry to say. They are mostly golddiggers, spoiled brats with "narcissistic personality disorder"
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  7. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

    724
    625
    93
    It's worth a try but not something that is ground breaking. Just another strategy...
     
  8. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    I really don't know where to go to try to meet women. There's not a whole lot of options where I live. If I want to go to places where I might meet someone I've got to drive 50 miles north or 50 miles south. The joys and curses of living in a small town that is pretty much nothing more than a couple of interstate exits for folks trying to get from one place to another.
     
  9. Great post, man. Very encouraging!
     
  10. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    That’s exactly happening in my church too! We men don’t talk to women. I thought it was off and odd
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

Share This Page