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Gaming and Porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ILoathePorn, Jan 21, 2017.

  1. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I have been a gamer for a very very very very very long time. Anything from MMOs to FPS to gaming consoles and such. During my rebooting I have come to realize that I would game and eventually that would get boring and would then immediately delve into PMOing. Sometimes I would even try to play games to keep me distracted because I thought that would help me to not PMO. Through a long history of my life gaming and porn were so closely tied together that I didn't even realize it. My current situation keeps me from playing a lot of those games now, and I believe I am the better for it. Don't get me wrong, I miss gaming some days. I do have an xbox and play a little bit here and there but nothing like I used to. Before it was either hours and hours gaming, or hours and hours of PMOing. I am glad that I don't do that anymore.

    I want to make it clear though that I don't believe video games cause people to go and mass murder people. The individual states in the article that one of people he talks to used video games to help rewire his mind to prepare himself to mass shoot people. I believe that he still had a choice not to do it.

    I found an article from 2012 on CNN that this psychologist links gaming and porn together. Here is the link: http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/23/health/living-well/demise-of-guys/

    Here is the Ted Talk that he does as well: http://www.ted.com/talks/zimchallenge
     
    ILoathePwife likes this.
  2. ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

    I've long felt your gaming and PMO addiction were linked. I'm really glad to read this, just the fact that you've been thinking about it.

    From a wife's perspective it hurt very badly because it was just another way for me to feel ignored by you. But I didn't feel like I could ask you not to do it because it would be me asking you to give up a hobby. But it was an unhealthy hobby, or at least being used at unhealthy levels. And if I ever did talk to you about gaming less, you'd get mad and say, fine I'll quit gaming completely. And then I'd feel like I was the bad guy that didn't "let" my husband have his hobby.

    Also, to be clear, I think any hobby can become unhealthy. Too much time, money and energy spent on anything, when it takes you away from family, real life, your job/studies/sleep, ECT., can be a problem. Even something like going to the gym to work out, hunting, rock climbing, collecting tea cups, couponing, whatever, the list could go on and on. That being said, gaming is linked more closely with PMO. It's on the computer, so close to temptation, plus it's an activity that can isolate, vs., connecting to others and getting out of the house.
     
  3. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Yes, we had many a fight in the past about gaming. I also don't think it was just about gaming. I think it was more about me being withdrawn and not communicating like I should have with you. I also think that the gaming was helping to reinforce the rewiring that porn had accomplished, so hand in hand they were complimenting each other in a very negative way.
     
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  4. ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

    Very, very insightful and true. And healing to have you say that. I talked to you about this so many times without being heard. And I did start wondering whether maybe I was the one with a problem. Like I was a jealous or clingy wife or something. But that wasn't the case. It made me doubt myself and my gut feelings that something was wrong.
     
  5. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    It is amazing the things that you realize when one's head is clear of PMO.
     
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  6. ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

    Hopefully other people respond too. This doesn't have to be the iloatheporn and iloathepwife show. LOL
     
  7. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    LOL - might be too late...
     
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  8. I do agree with you though. Gaming and PMO were most certainly connected in my life. I could game for some hours in a day, yet still be so empty, so unsatisfied at the end of the day. This is a no brainer, duhhh! Obviously I would be unsatisfied after a day sitting doing nothing useful, using no energy. So then I felt like I needed to use porn to satisfy myself. I badly wanted to avoid porn. It was such a shameful habit :( But I was too lazy to cultivate a healthy lifestyle, to meet my needs in a healthy fashion.
    And after using porn, I would feel so worthless and shameful. Unfit for any activity except ... silly games. See how this pans out?

    When I quit porn I kept on playing games but they were wasting so much time and turning me into a yucky slug. I thought it would be so hard to give them up - you put so much into games and it can seem like your in game progress actually has worth. It doesn't though. Just like the connections you make to porn pixels have no actual worth.

    They don't cause people to murder people, but they definitely influence them in some ways, in my opinion. 99.99% of people who play violent games will never murder anybody. However, they will influence their thoughts. Just like porn gives you a 'mind in the gutter', violent games can do the same kind of thing.

    Of course.
     
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  9. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, looking back there were many times that at the end of the day, the gaming didn't satisfy me by any means. I thought maybe I was having fun, but in reality just not so. I agree with you that I believe they do influence peoples thoughts. Everything influences our thoughts. It is just a matter of what you want to influence your thoughts. If you want good healthy things or bad things. Although, I think there a lot of people out there that don't even realize the affects that these things are having on them.
     
  10. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Ah shucks :D Thanks! We love you too!
     
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  11. TheLoneDanger

    TheLoneDanger Fapstronaut

    I've been playing video games pretty much my entire life. From the Atari 2600 and through the consoles all the way up to the phone apps of today, gaming has always been an escape from the world for someone like myself, a natural introvert. Traditionally, I had never thought of myself as addicted to gaming since I never let it get in the way of my jobs or relationships, but looking back on how much I've played is an indication that it has definitely been a substitute for living a more involved life.

    I believe that the more advanced video gaming becomes, the more addictive, and therefore, dangerous it is. I feel I had kept it under control (even with the invention of online gaming) until a couple years ago when I started playing a very popular MMO phone app game. I could feel how addictive it became and I started shutting out the world around me (job, family, etc.) The thing is, I knew I was addicted and it was messing up my life, but I didn't care. I began to become paranoid about my marriage and have fights with my wife (we would almost never fight before). The crazy thing was, I wasn't even as bad as most of the people I met on the game. They would spend up to thousands on the game and skip various payments (car, mortgage, etc.). But I recall the low point of this experience when I started to get paranoid about a female member of my team and she was being a traitor. I started to let it bother me so much that I became, and this is crazy I know, but I became aroused at the betrayal and masturbated much like some of the more extreme porn I would watch at the time. It didn't make me feel better at all. Luckily for me, it slowly started to get better, but it took nearly a year and a half before I was not controlled by games of this nature anymore.

    At this time, I only play sports-themed games and they're older versions of the game. I don't play online anymore, and I mainly play just for strategy. I don't play it for hours on end and I step away from it for long periods at a time. I feel that I have things under control right now, but I may learn more about my present condition and eventually feel I should give that up too.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2017

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