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Full disclosure.

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Deleted Account, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. I guess the only way to know if you got one is to have them take a lie detector test?
     
  2. JustSadPorn

    JustSadPorn Fapstronaut

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    I guess so. The problem is, he could go do something new and terrible an hour after taking the polygraph. Unfortunately, there aren't any reliable at-home polygraph machines that we could strap the PAs into on a daily -- or heck, hourly! -- basis :)

    If there is something big I don't know about yet, I'll find out eventually, and make my choices at that time. I've already been in this for almost 20 years. If I stick around for a few more months, then get another unpleasant surprise, did I really lose anything more?

    I figure if I'm going to stick around, I'm going to have to trust him as much as I feel he's earning it. I also need to trust myself that I will know when/if it's time to go.
     
  3. I’m so completely overwhelmed by this sickness that has been brought into my life.
     
  4. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Some of the wives here have tried polygraphs, but be careful because they do not seem to be the solution you might think

     
    Kenzi and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I was one of those. My polygraph was the worst thing ever in reboot.
    I thought a letter was better... And sign and seal it, if necessary
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018
  6. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    There are a lot of variables to making polygraph results legit. Sometimes it helps immensely, sometimes it hinders.

    I've even seen it where the PA has told the full truth and the polygraph backed it up but the SO was so angry and was pain shopping. She found every reason to RIP apart the test, the tester, and her PA. You have to be sure you are in the right place emotionally when it is done.
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  7. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Inconclusive is a understatement.
    And those who have never been through one, can't really speak ill of the experience...
    Or judge anyone else...
    Unless they are going to get one.
    It's kind of like complaining when you dont know what you are talking about.
    You know.... When a person has diabetes and sometimes a insensitive person says "I know what it's like, because I've been on a diet before"
    Um, I'm pretty sure that you don't know what it's like, because if you stop your diet it won't kill you... So shut up.
    Yeah... The polygraph is like that.

    The guy questions the PA several times to get a answer (you do that anyway)
    He picks the questions from questions and notes you bring.
    (you have no say)
    He does this with you out of the room.
    (he even pep talks the PA before the test)
    He goes over the results without you in the room.
    And
    You pay for it.
    No refunds.
    So if you are already traumatized by whatever the PA has done, like cheated or sexualized a child or coworker, I don't recommend this.
    They get to skip and pick what they want.

    I don't want my PA coached on how to lie to me.
    I don't want my answers fixed.
    I don't want someone to tell me that my way of questioning is invalid.
    If you want one question answered vs another, that is your right as wife.

    So...

    But I dare anyone to go get one and be okay with it after my experience.
    I wanted to know about whether my PA sexualized his stepdaughter and the guy asked my husband about a DVD porn that fell out of a bag.

    Cuz..
    You know.. Priorities????
     
    Jennica, Numb and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Thanks... I think I have a summer flu..

    But I do think that a letter is the best way to go.
    And that's my evolution, I guess because I know there was once a point where I didn't understand that.
    Well. Guess everyone goes along the ride.
    You can't hate on people for trying to improve.
     

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