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Frustrated, embarrassed don't know what to do???

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Pooh6369, Jul 13, 2018.

  1. Pooh6369

    Pooh6369 Fapstronaut

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    Coming up on 30days nofap, wife knows about everything. Including ED while trying to have sex, this morning she initiated wanting to have sex had a erection. Immediately went soft entering her has happen before don't know what to do. Am I really that messed up I'm my brain???? Really want to get back to normal without out worrying about a erection!!! About ready to turn 50 don't want to deal with this.....any advice??
     
  2. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Hi Mr Pooh,

    To me it seems as if you are frustrated and embarassed as your thread title says, but about what? ED?

    If you want to know about what to do for ED, continue the rules and concepts surrounding NF, most likely that will help you physically.

    However, in your post you described that your partner knows everything and you are doing well (30 days) as a start to changing, but yet you seem very distressed?

    Now why would you be distressed if you are not only doing the right steps and having open communication with your wife who wants intimacy and sexual relations with you? Isn’t that all good?

    I believe you are going to have to ask yourself why you’re feeling so distressed and anxious about it, maybe to reflect on patience, maybe to think about where that comes from and what sex means to you. Look at it (yourself) curiously and try to figure it out. I highly suggest journaling your thoughts and feeling surrounding sex, stressed at work? Avoiding something? Feeling scared? Feeling inadequate or shame? Its much more than just “addiction”, addiction is a symptom of a larger overarching behavior or thought process.
     
    Woodcutter74 likes this.
  3. Pooh6369

    Pooh6369 Fapstronaut

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    There's a lot of truth in your post I'm in such a rush to normalcy and correcting bad habits, the timing was probably way to early. I'm definitely don't have the best patience and it's a fault I definitely need to correct
     
    moonesque likes this.
  4. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

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    it's like @moonesque said you just have to be patient. I've been at this for almost 3 years and I still struggle with performance and confidence issues. 30 days is just the start, and it'll get a lot more difficult before it starts to get easier. stay strong and stay committed, and whatever you do don't look at P or lie to your wife. If you lie or relapse it'll only prolong the healing and the guilt and shame will keep you in a negative cycle. good luck
     
  5. Pooh6369

    Pooh6369 Fapstronaut

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    Almost broke the other day, didn't look at porn but did read some erotic stories but didn't fap. Won't be easy imI sure worth it in the end. Me and wife just discussed what happen feel alot better, now back on the road to recovery
     
    Rock_Star likes this.

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