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From Procrastination to exhibitionism

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by bartbar, Mar 23, 2018.

Should I start a journal here?

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. bartbar

    bartbar Fapstronaut

    Hello! I knew I had trouble with pornography for a long time since the age of 16. However, whenever I did get into long term relationships, or even short term encounters, it usually subsided. This way I thought I was just a healthy and just someone with a higher libido.

    Now I am 30 years old. I was in a committed relationship, which became a long distance relationship when I moved for grad school. Since then things have been extremely difficult. The stress of school, and being excited and sexually frustrated by my partner far away, I started moving into porn and then into exhibitionism. Mostly by performing in front of webcams. This is when I realised I might have some trouble.

    A few months ago, the relationship ended, and I started struggling with grad school. I graduated and then struggled to find a job. During that time, I worked much harder on my meditation, and started reading more about the zen practice. I also started looking at a on old muscular injury that I had which made it difficult for me to cross my legs while meditating. This process, with focus and abstinence from edging helped me gain strength. I landed job in some time.

    As the job started taking shape, I tried to get back into the game of dating. But I realised I still hadn't really gotten my confidence back. I relapsed into porn and smoking pot more frequently. My performance at the job dipped a little, I found myself falling asleep, and with low energy to cut through meetings aggressively. Then I lost my job.

    Its been a really difficult struggle since then. Trying to work from home. Started using porn again, especially on web cam sites. I started paying money. But then I started feeling like I needed attention. Then I was back on web cam sites performing for random strangers, just for attention.

    I am unable to focus, and take the next steps required for landing a job. I need to regain confidence. So here I am. I hope this resonates with someone. Thank you for reading.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Hey @bartbar ,

    I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

    There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

    My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

    Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

    1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

    2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

    Learn the NoFap Program
    The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

    They are:

    You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

    Get Involved with the Community
    The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

    Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

    • Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH

    • Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles

    • Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.

    • Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    --> L

    PS – I Think of pmo like a wolf. If I Stay near the center of the group with the winners the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, stray near the edges of the community by not working my program and the wolf can pick me off.
     
  3. One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @StarLightReboot - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/156764
    ---
    @SaapKaBaap - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139761/
    ---
    @GoldSpirit - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147651/
    ---
    @Lazarus Shuttlesworth - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/53299/
    ---
    @db001 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/130513/
    --
    @LilD - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147764/
    ---
    @julianstone - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146584/
    ---
    @zakes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/149243/
    ---
    @BreatheDeeply - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/
    ---
    @LiquidShoes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/
    ---


    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    --> L

    ---

    PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

    The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page. Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

    Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.


    -
     
  4. For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @CrushPornBeneathYourFeet
    @JakeO5
    @Arohamystic
    @MLMVSS
    @Rising Sun !!
    @Ready to be healthy
    @Brahmacharin
    @Struggle Bug
    @tet2vd
    @Satchi
    @BigDawg913
    @zakes
    @LilD
    @kropo82

    Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

    So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

    Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

    --> L
     
  5. bartbar

    bartbar Fapstronaut

    Thanks for all the resources fine Sir. Can you tell me how to put a link to your journal under the profile picture? So I did start a journal.
     
  6. Hey @bartbar ,

    Sorry for the late reply. I'm not at home. Looks as if you have figured it out.

    --> L
     

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