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From PMO addiction to wife addiction?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Yasin Najib, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. Sep 8, 2017 #1
    Yasin Najib

    Yasin Najib Fapstronaut

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    I used to be neutral about my wife. I used to find flaws in her even though I loved her. Never brought it up though. Now that I've quit PMO, I'm crazy about her. She usually roams the house without any attire and it's never really been a problem. Now I feel like a tiger looking at a very beautiful piece of steak whenever she does it. I go crazy. I get excited, my eyes dilate and I feel like I'm on drugs.
    Why is this bad?
    I've begun to touch her and pay her way more attention than what makes her comfortable. It drives her mad sometimes. I've told her it's because I've quit PMO. She is older than me by 9 years and dismissed as growing out of puerility.
    And you know the urge to PMO just when you start doing something long, difficult or unpleasant? I now have the urge to cuddle with and kiss my wife instead.

    Has this happened to you?
    How do you balance it out? How do you divert the energy elsewhere?
    We are together most of the time due to the nature of my job.
    I've been working out all of today to see if it helps.
     
    Yasin Najib, Sep 8, 2017
    Yasin Najib, Sep 8, 2017
    #1
    Suzyboozy and Hopefulgirl like this.
  2. Sep 8, 2017 #2
    Delfiorio

    Delfiorio Fapstronaut

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    Nothing turns off a woman more than being smothered by a needy man. Get out of the house, go for a walk, socialize with friends. Give her a reason to miss you, and she'll be more open to intimacy than if she feels you stalking her like a lion all the time.
     
    Delfiorio, Sep 8, 2017
    Delfiorio, Sep 8, 2017
    #2
    Baccarat29 likes this.
  3. Sep 8, 2017 #3
    Casper0n

    Casper0n Fapstronaut

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    You're describing a bit of a "first world problem" around these parts. I think you'll find that a lot of SOs would love to garner that level of attention of their porn-addicted partners. I agree with @Delfiorio that smothering can be a major turnoff. Try channeling your new appreciation for your partner when she's in the mood to handle all of that attention (and maybe even crave it).

    Is this your first reboot?
     
    Casper0n, Sep 8, 2017
    Casper0n, Sep 8, 2017
    #3
    Hopefulgirl and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Sep 10, 2017 #4
    Refuse2GiveUp

    Refuse2GiveUp Fapstronaut

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    Find different ways of showing your affection for her. Flowers, a night out for dinner, a show. It's ok to be playful with her. Know when it's ok and when it's not to playfully focus on her. Focus on pleasing her. And respect all her boundaries.
    Good luck!
     
    Refuse2GiveUp, Sep 10, 2017
    Refuse2GiveUp, Sep 10, 2017
    #4
    anewhope likes this.
  5. Sep 13, 2017 #5
    Yasin Najib

    Yasin Najib Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for all your replies. We went on a short holiday together.
    Now we are spending a month apart as I'm going offshore.
    I will practice restraint and respect.
     
    Yasin Najib, Sep 13, 2017
    Yasin Najib, Sep 13, 2017
    #5
  6. Sep 28, 2017 #6
    SanityOverVanity

    SanityOverVanity Fapstronaut

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    sounds like pent up sexual energy that you'd normally have given to PMO needing a new way to be released.

    Your wife isn't meat though, nor are you a tiger. Focus the sexual energy on other things like others have suggested.

    Do nice things for her, go for a walk, pick up a new hobby...
     
    SanityOverVanity, Sep 28, 2017
    SanityOverVanity, Sep 28, 2017
    #6
    Yasin Najib likes this.
  7. Sep 28, 2017 #7
    Yasin Najib

    Yasin Najib Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply.
    I meditate now and divert the rest to work.
    I think we will be okay.
    Thanks again for your suggestions and observations.

     
    Yasin Najib, Sep 28, 2017
    Yasin Najib, Sep 28, 2017
    #7
    WreckTangle and Hopefulgirl like this.
  8. Oct 13, 2017 #8
    Suzyboozy

    Suzyboozy New Fapstronaut

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    I would kill to get that sort of attention from my Husband
     
    Suzyboozy, Oct 13, 2017
    Suzyboozy, Oct 13, 2017
    #8
    Yasin Najib likes this.
  9. Oct 16, 2017 #9
    oilandwater5

    oilandwater5 Fapstronaut

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    It's worth looking underneath the surface - its easy to turn to PM to cope with negative emotions, so if you're not acting out anymore, there might be a lot of negative emotion underneath the surface that need to be expressed in a different way instead of looking to your wife sexually as a way to cope with them.
     
    oilandwater5, Oct 16, 2017
    oilandwater5, Oct 16, 2017
    #9
    Yasin Najib likes this.

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