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Freaking HATE how I look!

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by We CAN Do This!, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    I'm a 16 yr old male and sometimes I fucking HATE how I look! It's not my body, it's my face.

    I have slight acne, my nose has a bump in it, I have ptosis (one eyelid lower than the other) my ears are SO pointy, I hate the shape of my head and face (I think my head is too big/tall) and I hate that my hair is wavy.

    I don't know why I'm posting this because I don't really know what you can post in reply to this, but any suggestions on how I can feel better about myself?

    For my ears I've considered surgery but it would cost way more than it's worth.
     
  2. I've honestly never seen anyone who looked better after plastic surgery. It can usually range anywhere from slight uncanny valley "looking a little unnatural", to just plain looking a ton worse after surgery. The only exceptions are people with like massive facial damage from burns etc who of course look better after repairing that with surgery. So I wouldn't even consider it really.

    First of all, realise that your physical facial appearance is like, 40% of how you look, and while you can't change that 40%, you can change the other 60%: How lean your face is (at lower body fat % your face will look better, because your features become more defined and less soft), your body composition (build some muscle and/or stay lean), how you dress (this is huge, even someone very attractive can suddenly look quite unattractive if they're wearing dirty old clothes that don't match), your skin (get on a good skincare routine), your facial hair, and one of the biggest ones: Your hair. A good hairstyle vs a bad hairstyle can make the difference between looking attractive or unattractive. Even things like how often you smile, how well you maintain eye contact etc.

    You mentioned disliking your face shape. This tells me you probably just have a bad hairstyle that doesn't compliment your face/head shape and that's why it looks out of place to you. Consider getting a change in style.

    You mention your hair being wavy and not liking that, firstly that's not a bad thing. Wavy hair can and usually does look great, in the right style - just find a style that works well with it. Or if you really want to get rid of it, then either straighten your hair, or have your hair really short, then you won't have any waviness or curliness.

    Who gives a shit about acne, you're 16, of course you have acne. It'll disappear. Just keep your face clean with a proper face wash, keep a good diet etc, and avoid PMO.

    Ears are one of those things that get very little attention. I don't even remember the last time I actually noticed someone's ears, other than when someone specifically mentioned them. That's how it is with insecurities though, you notice your ears because you're concerned about them. Others don't. So don't worry about it.

    Regarding your ptosis, if it's severe, you can get surgery to correct it (no that isn't the same as getting plastic surgery to change the shape of your face or ears, and might actually be a worthwhile decision). If it's not so severe though, then it's probably something you notice more than anyone else does - just focus on the other 60% of how you look like I mentioned.
     
  3. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    The Creator, and the spirit living inside of your flesh, made you a certain way for a reason. You can't bring yourself down just because you look a certain way. What's on the inside counts, not what's on the outside. You just gotta build up your confidence, and build up your self-esteem. I'm a 15 year old who has thick, bushy eyebrows that make people assume that I'm mean and serious, when I'm the opposite (I am a serious person, though). But I don't let that affect me.
     
    We CAN Do This! likes this.
  4. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Thanks, really appreciate it!

    Thing is, I won't be able to just decide 'okay I look great' and get on with my life because even though my thoughts have changed, my looks haven't. There's probably nothing really wrong with how I look, but as long as I can pick faults with myself I won't be happy. I know it's like 'just accept who you are' but if I think I'm ugly then I won't be able to accept myself. It hurts to think 'yeah I'm unattractive and there's nothing I can do about it' because I know I'm stuck with the way I look, and I don't like that look, so I feel like I'll never be happy about it.

    Thanks for taking the time to reply though :)
     
  5. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Thanks for this, really appreciate you taking the time to write it :D

    I know there are some things I could change (like hairstyle as you said), and also, I'm sure people don't notice the things that I do. After all, we basically have to notice our faults if we're looking into a mirror a couple of times a day.

    In fairness, I only noticed my ears being pointy about 2 years ago. Yep, my OWN ears and I didn't even notice what they looked like until I was 13 or 14.

    I don't think I'll ever be happy with how I look completely, because nobody is, but trying to focus on more important things is possible.

    Thanks :)
     
  6. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Very true words. I try and be a good person, but I'm not great socially (I actually blame PMO for that) so people don't get a chance to find out what I am like on the inside, so it makes me feel like for most people, it is my looks that define me.

    Still, most people that see me will not care and never see me again anyway :)
     
  7. I don't think I know one person that isn't insecure about at least a few of their features. When was the last time you heard someone say "wow..I look perfect! I wouldn't change a thing about myself"? I always hated the way I looked from the side. Sometimes when I'm at the gym, I'll accidentally see my self from a side angle in one of the many mirrors. It honestly makes me cringe every time! I look like such a dork, but whatever, I've attracted many women over the years so it can't be that bad! So try not to think about it. You're so young and have plenty of time to grow into yourself.
     
    We CAN Do This! likes this.
  8. Jka123

    Jka123 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly you're probably not as bad as you say, but let's say you are. If you wear nice proper fitting clothes, take good care of skin and hair, stay fit, smell good, keep your teeth white and just have some confidence you'll be just fine. Almost anyone will look good if they take care of themselves and dress nice. Only a few people are lucky enough to be born handsome, but with the right amount of effort anyone can look and be attractive.
     

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