For a Happy life :)

I simply want a healthy and happy life.
Age 18: When I first discovered stuff on the internet, before that I used to be a religious person with a connection with God. That night I was just googling stuff on my first ever bought smartphone. That night I lost a spiritual connection, and it became difficult to gain with time as I was falling towards a deep hole.

Age 19: I got little addicted to pictures, and with time I wanted a big high, so started watching videos rarely.

Age 19-20: I started working out in a gym, made a strong body and I was able to control my self for more than a year, not looking at bad stuff, just being healthy and all. But I got bad in my studies as I was more focused on extracurricular activities, leadership roles, and I was getting really bad grades. So someone told me " First make a life (career), then make your body". It was partially true because a healthy mind lies in a healthy body. But I had to act upon it.
Unfortunately, I left the gym for 3 months, got less active and started using other ways to get high i.e. movies, serial dramas etc.

Age 20-21: I fell in for a girl at my university, she used to help me with my exams, homework and also supported me emotionally. I started to have feelings for her, but she was on a different page, and I knew that nothing's gonna work. So I used bad ways to go away from this rejection. I took help from my sister and friends.
Family problems and economic pressure put more burden on me.

Age 21-22: Got Graduated. A girl started asking for help in my university, I had no feelings for her, not even a tiny little feeling. We started chatting and I found the girl of my life, my soul mate, I was happy, I had promised God to leave bad stuff, my prayers got better and I started making a connection with God. Got a good job. And I realized that she should be my life partner. I had no physical attraction towards her, but my heart and mind said that she is the one...
I told her. And she said that I must not think that way, and if I did, she is never gonna talk to me again.

Heart Broken...

I never talked to her again, neither did she. I asked my parents to get me a girl so that I could get married. First, they said that I must make a stable career, but after many requests, they started finding. Guess what I got rejected every time. Reasons were that I didn't have a house, a secured job, a large saving and some even said that I was young.
Before you make any judgement: I belong to a strict religious family and arrange marriage are considered better than love marriages in my community. And it is recommended by my religion to get married by 22 so that the adult remains saved from sins and bad habits. And because in this age the clay is still soft, so the two married couple can change and mould themselves in the best way. Rather getting married by 30, because in 30's the clay dries, and it breaks if one try to mould it, so the marriage breaks and people spend their lifetime on compromises.

I always wanted to become a scientist, but now I can't. I don't wanna study anymore and want to earn a lot. So I always think of business, and currently, I have a business model and working on improving it and learning programming languages and musical instrument.

That was the bigger picture.

The reason for which I am here is that, after every 6 days I get depress and relapse. The maximum time in my life that I had held was 2.5 months while gym, 2 months before graduation and 2 months while in relation to my soul mate, or supposedly soul mate. And that time of my life was amazzingggg, just wanna go back to that clean and strong part of my life again and this time stick to it...
I aim not to relapse for 4 months at least.
Next goal: Start a gym and work even harder on my business, plus make a schedule for learning new programming language and musical instrument.

I'll keep updating, hope it will be helpful for someone, and others might also like to help me.

Warm Regards...

 

I already have identified my trigger, and that is "doing nothing or wasting time". I'm a kind of person who always like to stay busy. But sometimes I get tired due to job and just to relax myself and I start watching movies which lead towards bad things.
So, First I gotta stop watching them and try go to a gym instead or just jogging in the start...

I use to practice Wim-Hoff's method at my hostel. Currently, I live with my family and we have a shortage of gas and water at my place. And its cold outside. It would be a big investment to buy an electric heater . So one more important thing in "to buy" list...

Can someone tell me other activities that I can do when I get tired. Just some ideas.

And what about eating habits? I eat a lot of chicken products. Has anyone ever made a diet plan, or something that can guide me...

 

Thank you for your support...

 

Thank you .

 

Day 13:
I have been feeling really happy from last 3 days. I talk to every one with a smile. And I have started to take care of my hygiene too.
My mother told me about a matrimonial and she seems happy about it. Hope it work out, because I can also feel a thing.

And I can see my future goals more clearly.
Man NoFap works....

 

Day 17:
Many erections occurs during the day while sitting and doing work. Probably its due to sleep deficiency. I'm gonna make a schedule for taking regular naps during the day.

Still haven't join the gym. It really need extra time.

My brain is still foggy, gotta start fasting once a week at least.

 

Day 23:
I am getting control on myself. I can control my emotion even better. I am working more than before. Plus, I wake up early and do some light exercise to get myself some stamina before starting proper gym. Eating more than before and gaining physical strength.
Bad things still happens nearly everyday, but those things couldn't make me feel bad. Besides I am trying to fight problems in my life.

I'm gonna initiate my business real soon.

Last but not least, I'm happy again.

 

Sorry for late reply.
Yeah you are right.
First we gotta make a good relationship with our own self (Private Victory).
After achieving it we can bring relation with others (Public Victory).