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First time sex after ED - Advice needed!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by MusicDoctor, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. MusicDoctor

    MusicDoctor Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, I've been on 80 days now and after my quick flatline after the first week I feel like a different man. But I have a question, there's a girl I feel in love with and it's mutual. I'm not falling into the trap of falling for the first girl I meet, I actually took the time during PMO to find out what kind of girl I'd really like and this one fits the bill.

    So my question is, how would you handle situation like this? She wants to hang out and "see what happens". And I want to make sure I'll give her my best.
    Physically I have had morning woods and when I think of her it even gets wet. Sorry if that's to intimate but that's my status.

    My problem is that finding out I had ED dented my confidence and that was also my first time having and I wasn't that attracted to her, so I won't know if that might have led to extra performance issues. But now I want healthy sex and I read that some guy used performance enhancing pills to get past it. What do you guys think of that?

    Would that be a good thing to have as backup? The knowing you will succeed? The guy I read about used it and eased off the use and has healthy sex now and he wasn't on as many days as I've been. I don't want my mind to still screw it up when my dick might have healed just fine. And I do like the idea of getting back into sex and never worry about porn any more. What do you guys think? Too drastic or not?
     
  2. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    I dont have expierence with this so i can't help you with that. But you might tell the girl and don't panic about it as it might be worse if you are nervous about it.
     
  3. Primalthrust

    Primalthrust Fapstronaut

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    I think they would help you if you felt particularly nervous on the first go, then once you've 'shown her a good time' you may feel less pressure and be able to have sex with no help from drugs.

    I have used them several times in the past, they definatly work just be careful not to get dependant on them which I'm sure you won't. Sounds like this is just a hurdle you need to get over
    I'm guessing you have no experience with them in the past?
     
  4. MusicDoctor

    MusicDoctor Fapstronaut

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    @Primalthrust None at all, and because it's all part of the ED process I thought my question would be best served in this community with guys (and girls) with similar background stories and motives. Like you said for me it's indeed the first big hurdle I need to get past and yes is the reason why I'd take extra medication so build my confidence. Did you had good experience with them?
     
  5. Only problem with performance enhancers is you may try to come off ‘em and wreck your confidence again.

    I would take it slow. Give yourself time to get in the swing of things. Enjoy the sensuality and slow build with your girl. Build up the anticipation.
     
    MusicDoctor likes this.
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I’m female and my ex had PIED from day One. There is only one answer to this question you tell her about your struggles and past addiction. You say I had an issue in the past where I was addicted to porn. I have been clean for x days but you are the first time I am having sex post reboot.
    Because if you have ED she’s going to think it’s her fault. The more times you have it the more she’s goimg to think that. If you use the blue pill, it’s going to give you DE which is just as bad in most women’s eyes. If she knows what you are going through you will be less nervous and she can help you while knowing it’s not her fault. If she finds out later that you did not tell her chances are she will leave you for being dishonest so just do it now.
     
    MusicDoctor and gooutside like this.
  7. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    I can't give you advice, but I can share my experience.
    Background: ED from 6 years ago until now (difficulties to have and keep an erection), really better in the last 3 years, cause I was with a girl which I loved really much.
    Now: after the breakup with that girl, I'm rebooting. Around day 60 in my reboot I met the girl I was chatting with for a while, and we spent three days together. If you want the longer version look at my journal, but to make it short, the thing started pretty bad (I was also sick and stressed): first day, a lot of ED. Second day, PE, the fastest in my life. Third day: really better. Far from healed, but taking my time I enjoyed her.. and had sex. I was really worried, but she has been great, and we will meet up again soon.

    Maybe my advice could be: hang out with her. Know her. Get intimate, share. Maybe speak with her of this issue. Take your time.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
    MusicDoctor likes this.

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