First Time NoFap journey, getting though the flatline

So I'm 11 days into my first ever NoFap. I'm 26 years old, and watched a lot of porn through my teenage years and early twenties, often masturbating 2-3 times a day. I stopped watching porn completely about 4 years ago, however still masturbated at least once daily over fantasies ( as I'm realizing now, these fantasies took on the same quality of porn in my mind.) Although I have had sex with many girls, ED is something that has plagued me since my late teens. It got better after I stopped watching porn, however would still happen occasionally. This last year my sex drive has been very up and down.

After discovering NoFap, I decided to try it. I feel like I have damaged my dopamine sensitivity and this is why my libido and ability to get an erection when I need to is all messed up.

For the first week I felt super horny. I was sexting a girl and had a rock hard erection the whole time, although I didn't fap. Then I flatlined about a week in. My dick is tiny and numb/little bit painful, as though I am on a comedown from MDMA. I feel a little depressed and disinterested in sex/women in general. I went out to the pub and made out with a girl, however there was nothing happening in my pants. She wanted me to go back to hers and have sex with her but I had to make up an excuse because I just wasn't feeling any stirring in my pants at all.

I am just wondering how long the flatline will last? I hate having to make excuses to girls who want to see me, and I have read some reports on here that flatline can last a really long time. I have a few girls interested in me right now, and the thought of having to be celibate for months and months seems depressing.

Is it ok to have sex when you are on a nofap? I feel like the whole reason I am doing this is so that I can have sex with girls, without having to worry about not being able to get it up. I know that there are reports of long flatlines, but how long do they usually last? It would be really nice to hear from someone who has been through this and knows how to handle it, I'm so new to it all and its a bit intense atm.

 

@theprocedure Thanks man! Its good to hear from someone else whos been through this. I'm on 13 days now. Getting morning wood again, I think this is a good sign. Still feel pretty asexual the rest of the time though, hopefully that will clear up in a couple of weeks.

 

Thanks, I feel optimistic and I'm making sure I eat healthy and work out lots, doing everything I can to give my body what it needs to heal.

@theprocedure @M.S.H. What did you guys experience when you came out of the flatline? What does it feel like? And are there any signs you can look out for that let you know that its ending?

 

Quick update, I'm now at the end of day 17 and feeling better. Still pretty asexual, however depression/brain fog feels like it has lifted slightly. I think this is because I've been working out a lot (hit the weights three times this week, did a 5 mile run and I've also done yoga almost every day) and also because I've been eating really clean, lots of good fats, proteins and vegetables. I found a timeline online that seems pretty legit, and has filled me with some hope regarding the flatline period and when it will end. It is here for anyone who is interested:

https://www.mywealthshop.com/nofap-recovery-time-with-superpowers/

I am nervous because tomorrow I have a birthday party with people from work, and one of the girls who is going really wants to sleep with me. I had to refuse last time because I was in the flatline, although of course I didn't tell her that, and tomorrow I am going to have make up an excuse again. However I am optimistic, as I feel every day that nofap is working. I sometimes am getting headaches, but I feel like again that is the 'rewiring' process taking place and changing the way my brain works - orientating me towards a natural sexuality not reliant on porn or porn fantasy. I've been thinking about past times that I've had sex recently, and realized that a lot of the time when I was having sex I wasn't actually present - I was imagining in my head a scene from porn or a fantasy. That is the true damage done by all the porn I watched in my teen years and early twenties.

I am going to carry on through the NoFap, keep working out and eating clean. I feel super positive and determined. I am looking forward to when I hit the day 30 mark - hopefully the flatline will start to ease and I will start feeling really good again.

 

Update day 19 - Flatline is still going strong, but I kinda feel used to it now. Today I had a cold shower and a big weight session at the gym, and I've eaten clean too. Don't really feel too depressed or anxious, but still absolutely nothing happening downstairs. I am just gonna stick to a super healthy lifestyle and remain optimistic that it will pass and my libido will return. Went to a party last night and ended up making out with a hot girl. Couldn't take her back to mine, obviously, but still had a great time. I'm not sure if it is because of nofap or not, but women seem to be more attracted to me. I guess not m-ing gives you a confidence and an energy. Shame I can't take advantage of this newfound attraction, yet. Feeling good about the future and the process.

 

20 days down and I feel like I finally might be starting to come out of this flatline. I had morning wood this morning, and my cock just seems to be larger and feeling a little bit more sensitive today, a little bit less numb. My emotions have still been kind of all over the place though, and I've been feeling a little bit anxious in particular. Despite this I am optimistic and happy to be hitting the three week mark tomorrow! That's a pretty big milestone for me, and I guess the next one I'm looking forward to now is 30 days. I went to the gym earlier, and did a pretty epic weight session. Today I've eaten a smoothie, a fried egg sandwich and a homemade jalfrezi curry with loads of vegetables and chickpeas for the protein. Lots of veggies, no sugar and no processed food apart from the rye bread I used for the sandwich. I don't normally eat bread at all, but had a couple of pieces left over from the weekend to use up.

A lot of the accounts I've read on here and other places on the internet seem to state that the flatline normally ends after about 3 weeks. So I'm looking really forward to this week being the week I get my dick back. I'm expecting a fast recovery because I havn't actually watched porn for years. I have been masturbating to porn like fantasy though, I wonder just how similar that is in terms of the dopamine system in the brain? Either way PMO seems to have been the problem, the flatline is the proof of that. I feel like my body is already going through a deep healing, and I am excited to keep going now and observe what happens to me as I get better.

 

21 days finished! Today I have definitely noticed an improvement. I must be coming out of this flatline soon, earlier I had genuine sexual urges for the first time in weeks, and a lot more feeling/sensitivity in my little man. I am feeling happier, more motivated and like I have more energy throughout the day as well, which is a good sign. I had a cold shower this morning, and have been continuing to eat well - smoothies, homemade curry with vegetables and chickpeas, and I had a wild caught salmon fillet for lunch with sweet potato and peas. I didn't work out today, but I did do a half hour of yoga in the morning. At work I had a difficult day, but remained confident despite it and saw the girl I got with at the weekend - luckily it wasn't awkward at all and everyone was really cool about it. Oh and I forgot to mention, this morning I had huge morning wood. It lasted for a while as well, persisting even when I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom- the first time that has happened in a long time! So lots of really good signs, I am looking forward to seeing what the flatline is like tomorrow, but I am starting to think it might be coming to an end...

 

So I'm at the end of 22 days, and still feeling quite rubbish. Guess the flatline wasn't really as close to being over as I hoped it might be. Today I've felt a little bit depressed and short with people - despite this, managed to have a really decent day at work. Feel pretty asexual and I also have had brain fog and trouble concentrating all day. I have not allowed it to get me down though - I know that this is all a part of the healing process, and every day gets me closer to getting better. I think my next major milestone is 30 days. I did yoga this morning, and I've been eating clean but other than a lot of walking around, I havn't done much exercise. I'm gonna do a run tomorrow, that always makes my brain feel good. I have uni as well, I read that reading or just learning new things helps with the nofap healing process so I'm looking forward to that as well. For now just plodding along, and surviving, taking each day as it comes. Every day that I manage to get under my belt now feels like a major achievement. 22 days without masturbation. That's the longest I havn't wanked in about 15 years. Its weird - I had no idea of the damage I was doing to myself. But the way my body and brain feel now, I'm sure that what I was doing was not good in any way shape or form for me. There's nothing to do now but to keep moving forward with the healing, keep heading towards the light at the end of this tunnel.

 

24 Days down and what a development! Despite being in a flatline, I managed to have sex with a lovely woman yesterday...twice! It's a girl I've been talking to for a little while, and I was nervous about going back to hers because I've been in a pretty vicious flatline now for about 2 weeks. At first I even tried to just go to sleep without doing anything, telling her that I was super tired. But its weird - as soon as we started kissing, I started to feel that sweet tremor go through me, and then my little guy perked right up! It was like snow melting after in the spring sun. We slept together once there, then again in the morning. One thing that was weird - I did come pretty quick both times. In the past, getting it up has sometimes been a problem (now I'm realizing thats due to PIED) but most of the time I last a pretty decent amount of time. I am just chalking it up to the heightened sensitivity that comes after 23 days of not M-ing! I'm happy and I feel good, the flatline had me worried that I'd be celibate for the rest of my life, but I guess this clears that up - that it won't last forever. Now it just remains to be seen if that has kicked me out of my flatline or if I will go back into it. I know that some people on this site feel that sex during nofap is cheating, but I feel like it is rewiring my brain towards a natural sexuality - my intention through this whole process isn't to be celibate, its to feel genuinely attracted to and enjoy sleeping with women. I feel like this is a breakthrough, and also proof that nofap works - even when it kind of feels like its not. In the last 24 days, I have had more sexual experiences with women than I have in the whole of the last 3 months before that. I don't think I'm ever going to fap again.

 

Day 30 - So a third of the way through a standard reboot, and I have had a splitting headache for the last three days. It feels kind of like a migraine, a severe tension behind the eyes and then spreading throughout my brain. I feel like the deep healing has now begun. I can feel my brain getting rewired, and my dreams have also become more vivid. Despite this, the headache is quite severe, and lasts all day. I just feel like staying in bed all day and not really doing much, but I know this won't help, so I'm keeping up the exercise routine, the healthy diet of whole foods and the cold showers. I am happy to have reached this milestone, and I know that these next few weeks are going to be perhaps the most uncomfortable, and deeply healing, of my entire reboot. I have read around that the flatline tends to have ended by day 45, but as everyone is different, I know that for many people it ends in the 30s, and for some people it goes on for as long as 60. Hopefully mine is not too far away from the average, it came on around day 8, which seems pretty normal, so I am assuming that it won't overstay its welcome (especially with all of the good lifestyle things I am doing on top). My next post will be at day 45, in a couple of weeks, the halfway mark. Hopefully it will be to say that I am finally out of the flatline and well on the way to having a dopamine reward system that functions properly.

 

So I know I said the next one would be at 45 days, but here I am at 40 and I felt like doing another entry. Despite some promising signs last week (sex dreams on consecutive nights in a row, massive morning wood most mornings and even a spontaneous erection on one of the days), the flatline is still going strong. I still have a mild headache most of the time and no sex drive. In addition to this I notice that I am getting/feeling tired a lot of the time, but I think that might be because I have been forcing myself to get out and do as much as possible (socializing, working out, uni stuff and I even downloaded some software to start producing electronic music), which has been forcing my brain to work and create new dopamine pathways constantly. I am still healing. In addition to all of this, something really strange happened last night. I was doing the housework, alone in my flat, and had been ruminating on negative thoughts for a little while. Then, suddenly, I burst out crying. I collapsed onto the floor of my bathroom and wept for a straight ten minutes. When I got up, I felt a bit relieved. I have read somewhere that this happens towards the end of a flatline, emotions that have been repressed for years arise and come to the surface. I was just wondering if this has ever happened to anyone else? I am almost halfway through a reboot now, and I am sure that deep deep healing must be taking place in my brain. My next milestone is 45 days - the halfway mark. Almost there.

 

So day 44 is done, and despite how pitiful a state I was in at the time of my last post, things in my life have improved significantly. Things have progressed pretty significantly with a girl I've been seeing. I had been avoiding sleeping with her because of nerves - and things got so bad that I decided to just be completely honest with her about everything. To my surprise she was completely supportive, and since then we've slept together. I found it a bit tough at first, because of the flatline, but after a lot of reassurance and intimacy from her, I had no problems. Since then, we've just been really close. It feels amazing to have been accepted, flaws and all. With regards to the flatline, it doesn't seem to be letting up, but I can have sex now. I still feel quite lethargic most of the time and I'm finding it difficult to concentrate. The headache is constant. But despite this I feel happy. My life is really starting to flow now, in just 6 weeks my whole life has transformed around me. I am excited to see what the remaining 46 days bring - one thing is for sure, I am not going back to M'ing anytime soon. I feel as though my life is a lot better without it. I can't wait until my brain rewires and I start feeling normal amounts of pleasure in my day to day again.

 

So now on day 58, but unfortunately have started M'ing again. Streak is over... for now. The problem was sex kicked me out of the flatline and I started to feel horny again, so I kind of M'd, in bed, but it was without hands and was kind of halfway between M'ing and a wet dream, so I didn't count it as a relapse. But then after a couple of weeks without sex, the flatline came back. Now she wants to see me again, so I'm Ming to try and get out of the flatline. Terrible, I know, especially after I was making so much progress. I think the problem is trying to do a reboot with sex. For me, next time I try it is going to have to be hardmode - no O'ing at all. I am going to see what happens with this girl, but if I'm not able to or nothing happens, rather than dating again I am going to start a hardmode reboot. Probably in a new thread. Thanks to everyone who followed this one, and for all of the advice and support. I feel like I have learned so much. 58 days without m'ing is a pretty big achievement for me, still, as the longest I have gone before this since I started is only about 8 days. Next time I will do the full 90, without Oing at all. I feel like it will be much simpler going through the flatline without having to worry about whether or not I'll be able to have sex all the time. Still, it is all a learning experience isn't it. Until next time.