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First Time Here

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Zelaya, Apr 28, 2018.

  1. Zelaya

    Zelaya New Fapstronaut

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    I am 20 years old and my boyfriend has a PMO addiction. His addiction started when he was about 12 years old. He is a wonderful and phenomenal man and boyfriend. The only thing getting in the way of our relationship is the porn- in combination with a couple of mistakes he has made. It’s very hard. Especially because I have bipolar disorder, and while I’ve been doing wonderfully dealing with the mood swings- they have now resurfaced due to my boyfriends addiction. He is college student and it puts a lot of stress on him. I’ve been fairly patient with him, hiding how hurt I’ve been because I want to support him- not him have to support me. He’s been hurting so much because recently I’ve had a break. I could not longer hide how hurt I’ve been and he can see it. He’s noticed me comparing myself to another women when we are together and it makes him so sad. He tells me all the time that I’m so beautiful to him and that he doesn’t want another girl. But with the bipolar disorder, no matter what may be right, the emotions win out. We’ve had a cycle where every month when he gives in to the addiction, I’m crying, I can’t be consoled, and all my hurt is shown to him. He’s struggling so much already and I can’t support him. When he kisses me, I make us stop. When he wants to touch me, I don’t let him. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck. He has been trying to stop. And i want to support him. He’s supported me through his own struggle, and that isn’t fair. I fear that my reactions are making the addiction worse. Before I let him see how it’s been affecting me he told me that even though he would make mistakes he felt like everything would be alright and he had confidence in himself to stop-because I had confidence in him. Now he doesn’t anymore and he’s scared to tell me anything. Cause he knows how much it will hurt me. I’m scared our break up is inevitable.
    I came to this site for support. Cause I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m trying my best to help him. I tell him that even though my emotions get the better of me, that I still love him and that the porn isn’t going to change that. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep my sanity. I’ll always love him- but my sanity is depleting.
     
  2. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, yeah check out my signature links, the Resources thread, it's a great place to start for newcomers!
     
    Zelaya, Trappist and Kenzi like this.

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