Hello everyone, I'm glad to have joined this community and it's cool seeing so many people actively changing their lives. I'm 24 years old and was first exposed to pornography at a very young age. My father left videos, magazines etc lying around and I know as young as age four I first stumbled upon them. I began masturbating around that same age and I was also sexually abused by family friends. I am also currently feeling trapped in my job - I began exotic dancing a few years ago and now am hooked on the freedom and money it brings. I know in order to turn my life 100% around, my usage of porn as well as my career must not only change, but end completely. As of now it's been 5 days without masturbation or porn. I am so against the porn industry as a whole - I feel it is an insult to humanity, particularly to women. I have met pornstars on several occasions due to my job and I would say the majority do not seem happy even though they can never allow that truth to reach the public if they want to keep their job. People are often told that they should be glad a partner who watches porn is not cheating instead - but I would rather be in a relationship with someone who openly sees other people than one who lies about porn. That is the extent to which I find porn offensive to love and to women. This is why I feel so badly about myself after turning off the videos - I have just supported an industry I am deeply against. While I'm sure some of the damage emotionally and mentally that I've endured has been from my job, I know a lot of it is also from porn. At only 24 years old I have spent thousands on plastic surgery to look up to par with these women. I wouldn't do it again and looking back it was such an incredibly dumb waste of money when I should have been saving or making investments. Anyways sorry if I overshared especially on a first post lol. It's time to turn things around. Unfortunately even if I do turn things around successfully I have an underlying fear that I will not find a guy who does the same. But first things first- I must change myself before expecting that of others.