First post/making changes

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by some_chick, Sep 23, 2018.

  1. some_chick

    some_chick Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, I'm glad to have joined this community and it's cool seeing so many people actively changing their lives. I'm 24 years old and was first exposed to pornography at a very young age. My father left videos, magazines etc lying around and I know as young as age four I first stumbled upon them. I began masturbating around that same age and I was also sexually abused by family friends. I am also currently feeling trapped in my job - I began exotic dancing a few years ago and now am hooked on the freedom and money it brings. I know in order to turn my life 100% around, my usage of porn as well as my career must not only change, but end completely.

    As of now it's been 5 days without masturbation or porn. I am so against the porn industry as a whole - I feel it is an insult to humanity, particularly to women. I have met pornstars on several occasions due to my job and I would say the majority do not seem happy even though they can never allow that truth to reach the public if they want to keep their job. People are often told that they should be glad a partner who watches porn is not cheating instead - but I would rather be in a relationship with someone who openly sees other people than one who lies about porn. That is the extent to which I find porn offensive to love and to women. This is why I feel so badly about myself after turning off the videos - I have just supported an industry I am deeply against.

    While I'm sure some of the damage emotionally and mentally that I've endured has been from my job, I know a lot of it is also from porn. At only 24 years old I have spent thousands on plastic surgery to look up to par with these women. I wouldn't do it again and looking back it was such an incredibly dumb waste of money when I should have been saving or making investments.

    Anyways sorry if I overshared especially on a first post lol. It's time to turn things around. Unfortunately even if I do turn things around successfully I have an underlying fear that I will not find a guy who does the same. But first things first- I must change myself before expecting that of others.
     
  2. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community! I agree with you true change will require that you break free from that negative job of yours you deserve better. I'm sorry you had to endure abuse as a child and to have stumbled upon porn at such a young age but remember that the damage can be undone. Lots of luck and remember you are not alone there is hope for all of us :)
     
    some_chick likes this.
  3. some_chick

    some_chick Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the kind words! Happy to have found this site
     
    Newgirl likes this.
  4. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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  5. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

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    hihi! lets fight together!
     
    some_chick likes this.
  6. DoeDew

    DoeDew Fapstronaut

    This is by far the most impressive first post I've ever read on this forum.
    It's not only the way you told your story, but also how it has an incredible, inspirational determination within it.

    I'm very sorry for what you had to go through and especially what you're going through now..
    But I admire that despite all of this you are facing your problems head on and openly speak about them.

    I hope that this community may help you along the way and lets you get back on track when you struggle.

    Thank you for your inspiring words, I'm sure they'll help me and others keep a clear head when things go south.

    I wish you the best on your journey and hope you may always come back to the road of self-improvement
     
    some_chick and kropo82 like this.
  7. some_chick

    some_chick Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the kind words!
     
    DoeDew likes this.
  8. crazybutconscious

    crazybutconscious Fapstronaut

    Good luck in your reboot! And thanks for sharing your history with us.
     
  9. Jeddo

    Jeddo Fapstronaut

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    Good luck! I have just made my first post today as well. It might be a long process but the end result will be worth it.
    Keep us updated!
     
  10. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Hope you are ok, and continue working on your reboot. I see you haven't posted lately but I hope this doesn't mean you're discouraged. Keep going forward you will see great results :)
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  11. TiredOfThisGirl

    TiredOfThisGirl Fapstronaut

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    I've felt like I am the only one for too too long. It brings tears to my eyes to read your post. I think to be exposed to it from our fathers adds another dimension. I was never molested but I feel in a mild way I was with his carelessness. I can only come if I am feeling objectified. It is not a healthy state. I am with you.... I hate the porn industry and am sickened by the fact that I support it. I usually put that out of my head.... maybe i need to focus on that more to be able to heal...
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  12. 5waysup

    5waysup Fapstronaut

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    @some_chick, how are you making out?
    Great 1st post. Now i'm captivated and hoping that you succeed.
     

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