First NoFap Success story! 30 days and 14 hours YES! Female success story!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Tesslynne, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Fapstronaut

    619
    531
    93
    Two things though...actually, three....
    Over-masturbation is bad for our sex lives including that porn star.
    Secondly, it's FILM, darling - a LOT of it is FAKED
    Thirdly...OTHER things can be faked too....INCLUDING female orgasms.. i'm just SAYIN!
    So, that's not what women are really like.
    See...that's what porn does, it shows you a skewed up version of what men and women are REALLY like sexually.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2017
  2. Randomgurl4

    Randomgurl4 Fapstronaut

    79
    233
    33
    Frankly it's extremely rude for you to comment saying that these effects are placebo. You don't know what she's going through and you obviously don't know much about what it's like to be a woman with this addiction, so how about you keep your opinions to yourself instead of shitting on people when they feel proud of their accomplishments.
     
  3. Gavit18

    Gavit18 Fapstronaut

    62
    51
    18
    Dear I am just telling my opinions . I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling . why are u not taking as debate??? ..its opinion
     
  4. Gavit18

    Gavit18 Fapstronaut

    62
    51
    18
    I just want you to live happily .... But now I don't want anymore talk....
     
  5. Giddy Up!

    Giddy Up! Fapstronaut

    63
    124
    33
    This got into questioning someone else's personal choices and decisions, whether they're women or men. It's perfectly valid for women to be on this forum and their goals are every single bit as legit as ours as men. It's totally irrelevant whether they have sperm or different plumbing and Gavit your comments came across as very argumentative, insulting and condescending to them.

    In the future please consider the level of support you're giving to someone. Pretty much all of us have laid bare our personal lives and are clearly struggling with a severe addiction. We all need more assurance, not someone questioning the validity of their personal journey and clearly outlined goals. This is a *support* site so let's be supportive.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
  6. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    65
    47
    18
    It was always mystery for me why women shyed away from most men including me. It never crossed my mind girls(or should I say women) actually like chastite men, everything except church promotes erotism, and church never tells why you should be chastite. Funny, really.
     
  7. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Fapstronaut

    619
    531
    93
  8. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    65
    47
    18
    It should not come as small wonder why it is so hard to approach women, same thing as if divine beings are approached by rats. And this is the case, by being more chastite these women are BETTER than their male counter-parts. All these years being addicted... oh man, I would've married that girl I had in "high school", had I had innate capability to be as divine.

    Nothing to be done now.
     
  9. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Fapstronaut

    619
    531
    93
    Thanks a lot, so I am LESS of a divine being because I HAVE had sex? Um, OK!

    Just for the record, some of us women, including me, tend to put MEN we like on pedestals to, almost seeing THEM as divine beings :) It's not just men who do that with women. :)
    You never know, maybe you and her will reunite at some stage.
     
    lantti likes this.
  10. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    65
    47
    18
    Well, yes. You could've used that time and energy to invent medicine for cancer. Being divine is being good, and being good is being god. It's from the same word: God, Good. At least for me. Christians might see things differently.

    Perhaps. I'll wait out the flatline though, wouldn't want low libido destroying everything hard built.
     
  11. Randomgurl4

    Randomgurl4 Fapstronaut

    79
    233
    33
    Thank you for explaining it this way. Exactly. It's hard enough for us women to feel accepted and welcomed on this site since it's primarily men, so sometimes those comments can be taken offensively.
     
  12. Hashmal

    Hashmal Fapstronaut

    18
    17
    3
    Congratulations!.. never thought I would see a woman's post till now :eek: :) , and you are an inspiration for us... I read all your story and it was very complex, I started this year my own NoFap challenge and till now is all great, 8 days..not so bad but is not enough, and reading this kind of success stories gives me a little bit more motivation, and really is showing to all of us that is possible..
    Thanks for sharing this!... and I hope this achievement lasts for a long time :D ;)
     
    Tesslynne and Randomgurl4 like this.
  13. blueeyes

    blueeyes Fapstronaut

    15
    27
    3
    Absolutely- I'm in recovery from the sex chat stuff and affairs. It all became an addiction for me- the attention. It was toxic and a fantasy world I was in denial about until I finally broke free. Thanks for sharing!
     
    Giddy Up! and Tesslynne like this.
  14. No_More_Lies

    No_More_Lies Fapstronaut

    239
    301
    63
    Congratulations! Best of luck!
     
    Tesslynne and blueeyes like this.
  15. Giddy Up!

    Giddy Up! Fapstronaut

    63
    124
    33
    I've read that several of the guys stepped up their addiction too, even going as far as escorts/prostitutes. There's others that were involved in affairs. I know for me, that a good fap session or two, or three, or four :rolleyes: could always satisfy me on a given day. It's all about fulfilling a void or a need in your life. Something that was missing. We all have ups and downs in life, but like I believe everyone is saying, it's incredibly toxic and one action feeds another. Was just watching a show "I almost got away with it" and while it's talking about criminal activity, the guys were saying they'd start on pot, then graduate to cocaine, and for this one guy, he said that's when it's over. P is the same (for us guys). Once you view some magazine images, it graduates or increases in that it has to get more hard or shocking. I've heard experts say that it can even lead to criminal behaviors like rape for some guys, and it all started with P. For you ladies, I would assume it graduates from sex chat. It's essentially the same for both genders - ramping up to feed the addiction.

    Luckily for me, my addiction never took to me go to much of the harder stuff or things that are illegal. Some guys even get caught up in P with minors (e.g., Jared from Subway and many others). But I can definitely see how the sex chat and actual physical contact would be a real appeal. They definitely "advertise" on the sites I've been to... All you gotta do it click it... But that's the thing about P it takes you further than you want to go, and it's much more expensive that you'd ever want to pay - if you were in your right mind you'd never do it. That's the problem - I was either lonely, bored, or horny (even when married) and you just don't think clearly when you're "compromised" or in a weakened state. That's the thing about this site and the NoFap and no P guidelines. If you're not fapping, there's no reason to view P (at least for me). That was my other problem - I was in an incredibly toxic marriage with a wife that just turned me down sexually way, way too much or just wasn't interested in being with me sexually. And yeah, she O'd almost every time we were together (or at least she said she did.. :oops:), so that wasn't the problem. The problem was our marriage. When we argue and can't stand to be around each other, of course sex isn't a part of the picture...

    That's the thing - I think if I were in a healthy/happy relationship with regular/fulfilling sex, P wouldn't be as much or an issue at all. But when your relationship sucks, it's over. The best thing to do in that scenario is to just get out IMO. Why go through life like that? Or do something to fix that relationship if you're that committed to them. But good word, living like I was - let's just say I'm glad she finally left me! And didn't come back! I was so confused at first. I tried to get a marriage counselor to help us (yep, again), but she refused. After several months of her being away, I went from sad to very happy she left. At some point, the light came on. "Oh, she left!" Oh happy day! SHE LEFT! YAY!!!! Thank you, honey!!!
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  16. Giddy Up!

    Giddy Up! Fapstronaut

    63
    124
    33
    And when you're looking around, the pick up artists are all over you I bet??!! I've never done that, but there are books on how to master the pick up artistry and I'm sure for some guys that's a game in and of itself. I've been around a few guys like that too. ALWAYS looking to score... And so the ladies get caught up in it as much as the guys? It almost sounds like you all are saying it's really more about the excitement/attention and heat of the moment than the sex?
     
  17. blueeyes

    blueeyes Fapstronaut

    15
    27
    3
    Yes. Excitement/attention/distraction from dealing with current spouse issues/an escape... that's what it was for me anyway. I'm prettt shy in person so there was a "bravado" I was able to conjure up when talking to guys online and they were always so quick to compliment and lure. It became an addictive habit.
     
    Giddy Up! likes this.
  18. MuslimNoPorn

    MuslimNoPorn Fapstronaut

    281
    399
    63
    Tessssssssssssss I miss you haven't been on kik lately, miss the whole group. :c And congratulations!
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  19. Adamk2394

    Adamk2394 Fapstronaut

    36
    90
    18
    Hi I'm Muslim as well on 106 days Muslim mode no sex fap or porn and drugs as well
     
    MuslimNoPorn and Tesslynne like this.
  20. Ted Martin

    Ted Martin Fapstronaut

    260
    505
    93
    Wow. I'm right there with you. I can attest to this as well. In addition to PMO I was addicted to adult chat sites. For me, they became a live interactive form of porn and it was all about the excitement, the escape from reality. It was as if it was real but in my mind it wasn't completely real. I can relate to the "bravado" you mention. You could become the confident sexy person you dreamed of being while online in a chat room. You could put on a mask or a front to was more appealing to the opposite sex. And for me, as the guy, it was about the thrill of the hunt too. I got a rush from the chase. I would go to those chat room rooms, weed through the women there, trying to find the ones that had similar sexual interests, fantasies, etc. Find the ones that were craving attention, excitement and weren't getting their needs met at home. Then it was all about the game of flirting, impressing, attracting them, giving them that attention they longed for, etc. Ultimately, for me it became sexual addiction. I would seek out those that were open to meeting in person after developing an online relationship with. It was this addictive game where I would see if I could get them to the point of wanting to meet in person and eventually I did end up meeting with some of them. P was always an element in the game, but for me the sex addiction ended up trumping the p and m addiction. For me it was an escalating ladder of addiction. First I got hooked on p and m. Then the p needed to be more and more extreme to give me that same high. Just a chemical dependency as my tolerance grew. Eventually extreme p didn't do it for me so I turned to chat room and interacting with actual people which lead to meeting people in real life.

    In my opinion, this addiction at it's core is an intimacy disorder. We are all designed and hard wired for intimacy and connection with other people. The problem is we turn to coping mechanism like PMO instead of reaching out to other people to build true healthy connections or if we struggle with sex addiction in addition to PMO we turn to other people but in unhealthy ways such as using them for sex. We turn to these quick fix self-medicating habits because we either don't know how to connect with other people (maybe it was never modeled for us growing up), or we have been hurt in the past (now fear immobilizes us from trying again), or maybe it's the influence of culture that says vulnerability is weakness and guys at all costs are not to be weak. Who knows. But in any case we all long for healthy true connection with other people, but that takes work and is risky. So instead, many of us end up on the path of PMO or, like in my case, I also turned to unhealthy sexual connection with other people as quick fix alternative of meeting our needs instead of through true healthy intimacy with other people. And then we feel shame for doing and that shame makes us relate other others in inappropriate ways and keeps us bound to these addictive patterns which makes it impossible for us to receive what we actually want and desperately need...healthy connection. We end up sabotaging ourselves and never getting our needs met as a result. And so we remain stuck in addiction like a hamster on a wheel.
     
    Giddy Up!, blueeyes and Saskia like this.

Share This Page