I've been dealing with this since I was 13, it started out with books and then it went to videos. I had never been able to be free but it ahd gotten less frquent like 8 times a year, but this year has sucked ass and I feel like i'm in a loop. I feel like a hamster on a running wheel, stuck in the same place. I I could cry, I feel ashamed. I feel disgusting, I feel like a pervert. I know I can do it, but I'm feeling very low. I have a goal of 7 days and then i'll take it from there.