Finally success and I don't know how to feel

Alright, some context first: I'm 25, never been in a relationship, never kissed a girl. Though I've been on a fair number of dates and had many "almost" relationships." I'm also on day 14 of a hardmode streak.

A few months ago now, things seemed to be going really good with one girl (I'll call her Maggie). We were chatting every day and flirting a TON. Eventually I asked her out, and she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. (Full details in this thread.) After a couple weeks not talking to her we started talking again and basically chat and flirt just as much we ever did, but this time I know nothing will come of it.

Now, about two weeks ago I met another girl at a bar, (I'll call her Kate). We ended up chatting for two hours and I got her number. We had a coffee date which went pretty well. Then last night we went on a second date of dinner and drinks and sat in my car for a few hours chatting and listening to music.

Long story short, things went really well, though not much physical contact because she has a cold. But it became clear she likes me a lot. And she's also pretty attractive, and we have a LOT in common. It seems like this could easily turn into a relationship. But for some reason part of me feels totally numb to it all. Like, my adrenaline should be crazy, and I even felt like I was getting bored.

So I have a few ideas of why this might be:

- I'm comparing Kate and Maggie in my mind and still want what I can't have. (Since I "have" Kate" it's not exciting anymore).
- I'm hitting a major flatline. (Most likely)
- I just don't really like Kate, and only went this far because she seemed interested and I "want to like her."
- I was just tired and distracted at the time
- Due to other craziness in my life (upcoming job interviews, etc.) My mind was distracted and scattered and couldn't be "in the moment."

So it's tough, because I want to be coming from a place of truth, and not dating this girl for the wrong reasons. And I really don't want to hurt her. But if it's just flatline, in a few weeks / months I'll suddenly get SUPER excited and hyped. I should also stop talking to Maggie so much (we still Facebook chat constantly. She says flirty stuff like "You make me smile.") Part of me also feels like if things suddenly started working out with Maggie I WOULD feel the adrenaline and not numb. But I have no way of knowing that unless I'm in that situation.

Also, for certain reasons dating Kate would be WAY better. Our values line up, interests, etc. Dating Maggie would be fun but would probably crash and burn at some point.

What do y'all think? Have you experienced this? How has flatline influenced your relationships (if that's what this is)?

 

Dang, that is crazy how similar your situation is. I even had the thought of dating "just for the experience." But I think your last comment makes the most sense. The best way to figure this out is to move forward and see where things take me. The truth will reveal itself in due time. Especially since, on paper she's literally the girl I've been looking for. I actually made a top 10 list of qualities I'm looking for in a woman and she hits the majority of them. But at times it seems everything just looks good "on paper" but not in reality.

I did have a third date with her yesterday. We saw Bohemian Rhapsody, got froyo and shared music in my car for a couple hours while talking. I realized part of my ambivalent feeling is her body language was different than other girls I've dated. Like, she's not super flirty, and she didn't initiate any physical contact or even make it "easy" for me to do so. Finally I was totally blunt with her and basically asked how she feels, and we both admitted we really like each other. And apparently she's just sort of an awkward person and is not used to initiating physical contact. So we started holding hands (which was nice, but still wasn't the thrill I was looking for because her hands were cold and clammy.)

I even pretty much asked if she wants to "go steady" and she said she isn't ready yet and we should go on a few more dates, which I'm fine with. But part of me also just wants to "lock it down." Go home and be able to say "I have a girlfriend." Then at some point go in for the kiss, and "cross that off my list." I guess I'll see what happens.