We've decided to do 90 days no sex. I am both hopeful and terrified. WS didn't marry me because he liked me. He didn't marry me because he wanted me. He wanted to be married and I happened to be there. In case you were wondering, he's actually told me this. My point is that we've never been "in love" we've never been friends even. We don't have a foundation of love, trust, or mutual respect to fall back on when things get rough between us. We've always used sex as a lifeline. It's the only thing that has connected us in any way. I feel like this could either go really good, or be the worst thing ever. If we stop sex, it might force us to find other ways to connect, or it might drive us so far apart that we never recover. I'm hoping that we'll find out that we actually have things in common. Maybe we'll realize that we like each other? I don't know. WS told me a couple of weeks ago that he's never had a crush on someone. It makes it hard for me to hope that he'll end up liking me after all this. I tend to think that when we stop doing the one thing that has kept us feeling connected to each other, everything will fall apart. I'll realize that I've wasted six years of my life with a man who hasn't loved me for one minute of that time and he'll figure out that the person he married isn't a strong, stable woman but a weak, foolish girl who is hoping for the kind of love and romance that doesn't happen in real life. So....yeah. This is going to be so fun. I can't wait. Hooray for Day One!