FINALLY iv'e done it!-Feeling free!

Hey guys! I Would like to celebrate my 100 days without PMO and to share with you one of my best decisions iv'e made lately.

iv'e posted a few threads about my latest breakup. Your'e more than welcomed to check.

So..I Broke up with my ex 1 month ago. the break up was pretty much calm and we decided to stay 'friends'. As soon as i got home, I knew it was so comfortable to accept to being friends but deep inside it hurt deeply. I knew staying as friends isn't the right option for me.
1 Month i couldn't get over her and thinking about her. 1 month i insisted on keeping her on social media even though it was so tough looking at her posts. 1 month that i was haunted by negative thoughts and the silly thoughts that she might come back.
1 month that i was stuck in an endless loop!

So, Yesterday I decided i'm taking a big step forward. I sat down, took a pencil and a paper and started writing the advantages and disadvantages of keep being friends with her in order to finally get to a decision that comes from my heart.
Eventually The disadvantages of keep being friends with her won big time. So iv'e made up my mind and decided to talk to her.

Since i respect her, i told her the truth. i Told her that i rather not being friends with her. NOT because i hate or angry at her! I'm doing that because i think its for the best and feels right. I told her that she doesn't deserve my hypocrisy. I thanked her for being who she is and for the great moments we've had. And wished her Lots of success.

And finally for the moment iv'e been waiting that whole dam month, I Deleted her from my social media. It felt so releasing, Like i was born again. I Finally felt good and happy again. I felt like it was the best decision that iv'e took in a while!

a Few tips i would like to share with you guys:

1) If you have anything/someone who causes you negative thoughts, F**k it, Delete them/kick the hell out of them from you life!
2)Do what feels right for YOU! each one of us is individual.
3)There's no such thing staying as friends after a relationship. There's always someone who still has feelings, the stress will always be there. If You keep staying as friends, it's like winning the lottery.
4)It's OK to give up on some ego, there's nothing wrong about it.

Thanks for reading

 

Day 2 after decision-
Feeling a lot better, Realized i should have done that decision a day after the breakup, but hey, at least iv'e done it and i'm learning from past mistakes in order to improve!
I was suffering from OCD a few months ago and a psychotherapist helped me a lot. I'm thinking about going to a psychotherapist again due to the last time's success, what do you guys think?

 

Thank you for reading my other posts and thank you for commenting!
It took me a while to understand. I now believe most of our best decisions come from our hearts, Heart is our best friend. Unlike our brain which was the reason i suffered 1 month(the reason i had so many negative thoughts). Sometimes our brain tells us differently and the opposite, Exactly like porn, In our hearts we know we want and NEED to avoid it, But our brain is our worst enemy and keeps telling us to watch porn.

 

Thank you!

 

Day 5 after the decision:
Feeling slightly better, Started meditating. I don't have the urge of speaking to her or to see her anymore. BUT, it still hurts when her name pops out. Still haunted by good memories with her. I NEED TO BE STRONGER. I realized this whole thing is a big Addiction. once i give up(looking at a pic of her/speaking about her) the loop starts all over again. EXACTLY LIKE PORN. the only way to get over it and to rewire my brain is simply no contact(no pictures, no social media, no nothing).
NOFAP showed me that my willpower is strong enough in order to beat this addiction. 103 days without PMO? Huge accomplishment

 

Day 12 after the decision:
Pain in the chest is gone for good. Feelings are decreasing day by day but memories are still there. It's still tough when i hear people speak about her.
I'm trying to keep myself busy with studying and Gym. I'm meditating everyday and trying to achieve that skill. I can feel the process. I'm trying to work on changing my perspective on life and working on positive thinking and understanding my brain So i decided to start reading 'The power of now' by Eckhart Tolle.
I am now thinking of the breakup as something good and positive thing that happened to me. The breakup made me more experienced, Now i realize what i want from my next relationship, It made me more mature and a better person.
110 days Without PMO!! LETS DO THIS~

 

Day 18 after the decision:
Well, Today was an odd day, I saw a picture of her on Instagram(she was on friend's story). I panicked and Negative thoughts attacked me like crazy. and then i started regretting for watching that story.
My new way to calm myself is to meditate and to read my new book 'The power of now' by Eckhart Tolle.
The book helps me with changing my perspective on life and thinking positive.
so today i read something interesting about Thoughts and feelings which i can relate to my current situation.
"in TRUE LOVE there's no place for ego. TRUE LOVE doesn't make you suffer."
The pleasure and joy with her gave me the illusion of love and happiness. Happiness and Love are both coming from our DEEP INSIDE when we actually stop thinking and using our brain. Pleasure is actually the 'fake' word for temporary happiness. Pleasure comes from our OUTSIDE and most of the time it's temporary. Pleasure is addicting, We have to be careful. The book taught me that What gives us pleasure will make us suffer tomorrow. And that i'll feel hurt as soon as i'm missing that pleasure. It described our relationship perfectly.
Thank you Eckhart tolle for making me realize that what we had wasn't REAL LOVE. Thank you for making me realize that we broke up for good and giving me the right tools for navigating to a true love relationship. In order to recover, I have to accept what i have and to respect the present moment.

 

To be honest, Only by reading your first paragraph, He hasn't been your friend since childhood. And to be exact, He is not your friend anymore.
If he makes you suffer mentally, Ask yourself, What's the point in staying friends? exactly, There's no fking point. Just Give a fk about what he thinks of you.
You guys took different paths and its fine, I've had lots of friends who iv'e lost contact with. This is life, people choose different paths and you have to accept it.
If they can walk from you, let them walk. You don't have to beg anyone to stay. If he wants to be friends he'll contact you and start talking to you with respect.
My tip is: Stop thinking about him, his life and what he's doing. Focus on yourself. You said you want a girlfriend? work for it. Go out, Meet new friends who will respect and love being around you.

 

Hey Sterkte! It's good to see you again Thank you! 137 days and keep going! How is your nofap journey going?
I'm a bit confused.
You broke up with her or she's with you?
If you broke up with her, and she still wants to be friends, why would you think about deleting her from social media?
It's actually not a tough decision. It's Our brain that makes it tougher. The brain always keeps us unfocused and makes us over-thinking. , It's actually easier than we think.
Just take a moment of silence or how i call it- "Me time" . And look deep inside of yourself in order to seek for the truth. Try to observe your feeling and thoughts, Look at their negative pattern and realize that your not those negative feelings and thoughts, it's only our brain's illusion. You said it's a source of stress?
Then You've got your answer.
If you broke up, Think about the reasons you broke up. Why would you consider coming back?

 

Good to hear it's going well for you bro! Keep up the good work
And yeah, It's difficult, hard and requires dedication. There are Unique persons who mastered that skill. Hopefully one day we'll get there and find some quiet and peace within us.