Finally going to visit an escort

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by BetaToAlpha, Feb 26, 2017.

  1. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Well maybe, but paying for a girl's drink and paying for sex are two completely different things.
    You're gonna find intimacy with a hooker? GL with that mate! :p
     
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  2. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. Paying for a drink is paying for the experience to get to know someone better, no sex required. Paying for sex is skipping the intimacy part, whether there are hugs and kisses involved or not, and going straight for the pleasure and dopamine rush.
     
  3. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    "male race"
    Hahaha, so men and women are different races now. :D

    Guys don't pay the drinks for guys they want to know better as friends, though. :p Do you pay the drinks of your male collegues in order to get to know them better?
     
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  4. m_brando

    m_brando Guest

    Yes, think about the quality of woman you're even meeting at a bar. If there's a monetary exchange assumed at all, well yeah. Lots of those girls hustle drinks or just expect 'em if they're 'hot.' People who go after hot people exclusively as an meathead alpha thing or think they're hot and that's they're crowning trait are red flag central. Nothing good has ever come from the guys I've met at bars/clubs. Basically opportunistic scum. Liars, date rapists, ...musicians
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 27, 2017
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  5. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    At almost 30 and without much hope of things changing I wouldn't worry about this. At worst I'll be back to square one in terms of attracting someone but at least I'll get to experience sex and close proximity to a naked female body and understand it's natural to be so close to her and maybe it's not an object, but another person that happens to be nude. My virginity is standing between me and talking to girls without any sexual expectation, it's that bad. I want to let go of that feeling and be cool about talking to females around my age without that expectation. They trigger me to desire love and affection, even when I'm in a flat line. I need to caress/hug someone feminine, it's not about the penetration really. It's about oxytocin (sp?) and exchange of pheromones and energy.
     
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  6. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    OK, don't judge me. It was kinda meh as I took to much benzos and my little guy got shy. She had to suck me off to get hard, I did penetrate her, but it went limp and we had to stop. Basically some more BJs, but I had to wank to cum on her breasts as the dude refused to cooperate (NoFap flatline). And that was it.

    I won't repeate it, as now I know sex without real love and affection is kinda meh and fake. But it's much better than MO with or without porn.

    Technically I did masturbate to finish on her breats but I don't feel like I've died like it's usually when I wank alone. No depleted energy so far, no kidney/adrenal pain, no depression. I am a bit sleepy but that's all. I even feel somehow refreshed.

    I like the knowledge I've been that close to a female. It's too early to say, but it's like some terrible anxiety/shadow has dissipated. Now I feel slightly more content and confident despite the performance anxiety.

    I believe in chakras and stuff, and to be honest maybe even no love sex with a prostitute is better than PMO or MO. Sure, it's worse than sex with a person you love and loves you back, but if there is a scale, it's much much better than wanking and porn for your energies. Gonna continue my NoFap, and I hope the flat line disappears.

    I feel like the gay/bi energy and vibes I had are going away and despite taking a shower, I can still smell her nice smell on me. I am in the Netherlands, so here prostitution is more regulated and I hope less cruel for the girls that do that. The best thing is I'm no longer a virgin and now that I saw a real nude female that close and touched her breasts, I'm certain I like it more than being with guys, I felt very nice despite her not being my type at all and being a stranger. No more prostitues for me, but now women don't seem like that weird creatures I have no access to and I feel like I no longer hold any resentment to females. Also no porn for me, it totally lost it's value now that I've done something similar. I've done the deed, so what's the point of watching actors do it, it's not like I'm gonna learn something new.

    She doesn't know it, but even her fake attention made me feel better about myself. I was very delicate and didn't do anything without asking first. But now I know I'm more of a romantic guy so I hope my next encounter precludes real love, walks in the park and all that. I didn't see her as my sex doll, more as an equal human being of the opposite sex that would get touchy feely with me in exchange of money. I don't regret it as I have the knowledge I've done it so now women don't seem like some special treasure to win and I can finally let go of my obsession with them. I feel freed from the obsession of losing my virginity. Now I feel like talking to girls without feeling desperate to get into their panties. And they don't look that special/succubi like, but like fellow humans, just with different sexual organs. I can finally let go and focuss on my other goals like sports, career. WOW! See, they're no longer like some forbidden fruit I have to have, some game level I have to get to. I tasted it but now I feel like there is more to life than sex.
     
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  7. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    I'm with you, @BetaToAlpha, before I read your last post I was determined to encourage you to do it.
    I'm 26 and I've promised myself that I'd keep trying to have "normal" sex until the weekend before I turn 30. I mean, we all know it's not going to happen but for some reason I have this tiny bit of hope left that I'm just un-appalling enough that a girl might take pity one day. But I dread that I'm even too much of a coward to do it then. So I actually envy you that you had the guts to do it.

    And to anyone else, from what I've read, few, if any of you seem to understand people like us. If sex and your virginity is all you can think of, you're starting to feel like you're slowly losing your mind. Personally, I feel like a lost child in a world of adults every day because I'm still a virgin. It's eating me up from inside, chipping away at my sanity. Just getting it out of your system seems like a sensible maneuver.
    If you can get sex without paying, because you are attractive and confident enough to actually talk to girls, good for you. But don't assume everyone else is as blessed as you. All my life I've been taught to respect women, to a degree that I will not speak with a stranger unless spoken to and I'd never ever bring up any sexual content. If you've reached that point, your only chance is being so ridiculously hot that a girl will initiate the contact instead and, well, let's just say genetics aren't on my side in that case.

    tldr: You did the right thing, @BetaToAlpha. Was it ideal? No, certainly not. But everyone else should count their blessings that they don't have to resort to such drastic measures.
     
  8. Well continue to disagree but I do think you make some good points.
    Believing it will happen is the biggest obstacle. But once you do, you'll have the patience and motivation to let it come to you.
    You're negative energy @Beta2Alpha is pushing people away.
     
  9. Mwah, darling. Thank you for the shout out. I will be leaving now as well.
    LOL those bar musicians tho.
    Okay well I like the attitude shift. Good luck.
     
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  10. Yes but trust me... women have the power! An ex of mine used to say, 'my pussy, my rules!' Haha
     
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  11. Betatoalpha
    I can't say I like everything you have put on this thread but I do think you did the right thing here. Just don't get mixed up in mistaking it for love. You going again?
     
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  12. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    No, I'm certain it was not love. But I'm not sad, it was like two teens playing with their body parts, I felt 16 again as that's when most guys do things like that. Now that I'm over this I can let go of the wasted forever alone years. And hey, even if I wasted so much time, maybe my future love life would be better than these of my fellow classmates for example. I feel much more incline to give now. I know I have to work even more on showing my feelings and affection as I might come off as too reserved, but I have the feelings in me, I just have to act on them and show how romantic I really am. The cold mask I've donned all these years is not me.

    I prefer more meaninglul relationships than one night stands. But now I feel more inclined to give without resentment or expecting something.

    BTW, I'm ditching Astrology and karma talk out of my life. I was told my bad karma started age 10, yet I have problems with females since age 13....I started PMO age 12 and at 13 I was heavily into it, not a coincidence IMO! Of course she said I've been unlucky in my teens and 20s as that's what I complained about in my question to her.

    Yes, many locals have been rude to me, but that might not be due to planets. Maybe they are too blunt yet reserved for my personality. I personally found French people more to my liking, more polite. Less reserved than the Dutch, but not too friendly like the Spanish which to me are way too intense. I felt like I belong there, so I guess I match the French on the reserved/open scale and polite/blunt one. Each person is not suited to each society, that's all.
     
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  13. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    Good job man. Can't believe all the feminists (and frankly idiots) ITT trying to stop you from doing what you wanted to do.

    I remember being 16-17 and going crazy about visiting an escort; never got around to saving up the money, but my first sex encounter did end up sucking as well - definitely helped me mature and grow as a man and a person.
     
  14. Just go with the flow and see what happens. Mind if I ask a question that is irrelevant? What did the prostitute look like?
     
  15. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    Now I remember - one month ago I promised God that if I don't do it by the end of the month I'm taking all my supplements and drinking all of them at once. And I totally forgot about this. These days I don't know what made me do it, but I acted on instinct and I looked up escorts today. And now I see it's the end of the month. Weird. I wanted it to happen naturally, but I guess if He exist He thought I'm not ready. I also don't go to clubs or pubs here etc as I'm moving out and cannot find the time. But that instinct I had to get an escort or else is what spooks me. I totally forgot about promising to kill myself a month ago, I am serious. I know it sounds ridiculous to claim God made me hire a prostitute, but lately I've been more and more sure I can snap and really off myself. So maybe my guiding angels finally started working for me at the right time. Still prone to magical thinking... but done with karma, Astrology and the likes.

    @SupBruh, I think many people just assume that if you pay for it, you'll treat her like a sex doll. My deed was more equal, in fact I was a bit scared for being a novice and offending her in any way. I might've been sex and love starved but that doesn't make me one of those guys that treat escorts like dirt. I just hope to let go of my inhibitions of showing affection, as a kid my parents told me it's wrong and a weakness, so while I have a rich emotional and romantic life inside me, it's hard to express it.

    That's what I want to work on. I hope I meet a girl that will help me get comfortable with showing my romantic feelings. I know I come off as cold, aloof and reserved no matter how much I talk to people. Maybe I should start by saying everything I feel out loud for a while, no matter how ridiculous it is until I calibrate myself. And do physical stuff like, smile at them and give them small gifts, invite them to do something together. Just for fun, not for sex. I think my reluctance to show affection is one of the reasons to be eternally in the friendzone or just a friendly acquantance. I think they assume I'm just not into them.

    @Harderthansatan, like an average 30 yo female. In European terms she was a bit on the thick/curvy side. Dark blonde hair. I expected a 40-48 ish one lol and that would be almost like sleeping with my mom (I look younger than my age, so I am into younger looking females).
     
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  16. m_brando

    m_brando Guest

    But you think it's cute because she said it. She's subverting the power dynamic. Now imagine if a man said "My dick, my rules." And that's how a scary number of relationships are. It's not cute, it's abuse.

    Same thing when a man pays a dominatrix (Dom is masculine terminology from the catholic church.) He's setting the rules, it's his world, he gets to decide when he gives up power, and if she doesn't do it his way, he'll complain and stop paying her, and then he gets to go home where he's not oppressed and leave the fun little game behind.

    That's also how prostitution works. The man is dictating the terms of the arrangement, and she's waiting on him, as a slave, in order to be able to eat and pay her bills or for her drug addiction or kids of whatever.

    And don't say she chose the life so it's okay. The structure that put her in the place of a servant with no dignity had to exist for her to enter into it out of necessity, or frequently coercion, or lack of better paying jobs when PUSSY SEEMS TO BE THE MOST VALUABLE THING WOMEN HAVE TO OFFER IN A WESTERN CAPITALIST ECONOMY. Sex work- the only work women get paid more for. Not empowering. Enslaving. Objectifying.

    The few strippers and well paid porn stars from middle economic status who chose the life so they could play Pretty Woman are setting up their poor sisters who get trafficked and have their bodies and souls cheapened by sex work being an only option. I've seen the women of skid row walking around naked at 2am, cops looking the other way. It's sick and heartbreaking.

    I would never say 'My pussy, my rules' to control someone unless it was understood I was totally joking. If a man said it, it'd be a sexist joke. And laughing off sexist jokes is saying it's ok to be hostile. It's funny to be hostile. That's sexist culture, that's rape culture. That's what gonzo porn says is sexy so it gets a pass because it's just playin' around, right? Wrong. It's harmful and insidious.
     
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  17. BetaToAlpha

    BetaToAlpha Guest

    "That's also how prostitution works. The man is dictating the terms of the arrangement, and she's waiting on him, as a slave, in order to be able to eat and pay her bills or for her drug addiction or kids of whatever."
    Ugh, she told me upfront what she does or doesn't do from the start like no ass, only condoms. I also told her what I won't do, i.e. no kisses on the lips as I dread sharing saliva with strangers. So I don't think all prostitutes are slaves, at least not here in the Netherlands where it's legal and regulated.

    "If a man said it, it'd be a sexist joke."
    Double standrards like these are sexist. That's not equality at all. So either all people have the right to say the same things, or some have more rights than the others. It's statement like these that made feminism into a joke. I bet you're a millenial.

    I think you (and many so-called feminists and MRAs) have the same problem as me - resentment towards the opposite gender. Possible by bad experiences like bullying, rape, or/and other negative issues. What you said is almost like saying something like "If a black person says this, it's stupid, if a white says it, it's smart". Same logic.

    Feminism is turning into a joke unfortunately. I expect things like "A guy looked at me, that was rape." in the future hahaha. It's funny but it's more disturbing as that removes the attention from the real issues like all those slave workers of Appel Inc. that are paid peanuts, yet they create the favorite toys of Jezzebel bloggers. :p
     
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  18. Wow. Very serious response to a joke post by myself. You misunderstood the joke context of it and that it was intended to be light hearted.

    I mean no offense to you but stop being so sensitive to things. You'll be happier that way. It's not just you though... there are a lot of sensitive people on this site.
     
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  19. Mind if I ask your age? Are you in university?
     
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  20. m_brando

    m_brando Guest

    I graduated but I wasn't radical liberal (different from whiny neoliberals) in college. In college, I was in an abusive relationship with a violent gun selling libertarian who had me pretty well-programmed to step in line and hate myself. I made fun of my gender studies professor as backward and ignorant, actually. So please don't infer I was indoctrinated by higher education plz thx
     

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