It's day two of reboot. First symptoms of withdrawal: when I try to fall asleep, I get these flashes of hardcore pornography in five second intervals, each time I feel like I'm going to wet the bed. I also had a dream:I was in a place, I felt like "I have been here before". There were big pile of pictures of me (as younger adult) and another person, who in the dreams narrative had been my lover. One picture was illustrated pic of me, this person and little dog watching out of the window, this pic had clearly been drawn with affection. Caption: "things as they used to be". At the bottom of the pile there were porn-sub photographs, and I thought that this shit has potential to trigger me. Then I woke up. And cried like a maniac. There is this one woman. I'm having small a crush. She is highly intelligent, funny and she has adorable laugh. She draws comics (she draws illustrated pictures) and is very good at it. Just thinking about her makes me feel better. If I don't stop this toxic shit, there is not even chance to have healthy relationship with her, or with anyone, not even with myself. I feel like that dream was kind of pep-talk, motivating me as i fight this.