Feels like a punch in the stomach

Hey fedupist!
Thanks for sharing. You are made in image of God, the masculine side. True warrior who is meant to live adventures and chase beauty.

Stop allowing the enemy to rule you. He is the one who is telling you that you are loser and that you cant win in your fights and that you cant make an impact.

In those tough moments try realize that God doesnt whant that for you and call Him to come rescue you. He will come, where he is invited.

Put your head up and stop falling for this little trick satan made that he doesnt exists.

Julijus

 

So you are in an uncontrolled cycle of pain and torment. This is how the enemy corners and isolates us. I’d like to give you a few pointers on things you can do TODAY to start breaking the loop.

1. Worship God in the presence of torment. Point out the torment. Call it out by name, and force it to watch you worship or almighty creator.
2. Try to do one small good thing a day that really makes you feel good about yourself and proud to be who you are. Celebrate it. Give thanks for it. Dedicate to God. This will not fix everything, but it gives you reason to have a better picture of yourself in your mind. Whether its applying yourself a little more at work, skipping the burger for a salad, saving a few dollars instead of spending it. Anything reflective of the values you want to guide your life.
3. Slowly and overtime, examine the sources of negativity in your life, and remove them. Don’t go crazy, just one thing at a time. Replace them with something positive. Instead of cruising social media, spend time listening to a podcast (Jocko!) or reading a good book.
4. Celebrate all the small wins!

So what you have here is a system of simultaneously orienting yourself and giving praise to God, the highest and purest possible good, you are doing things that cast yourself in a positive light to yourself each day, and you are replacing sources of negativity with wholesomeness. This will let you make your life 5% better each month, and guess what, at the end of a year, your life is 60% better than it was! Remember, just start small. Work your way up to bigger wins over time, but at first, just try to do the things I outlined. Max it takes you 5-10 minutes per day.

Stay strong!

 

Brother, im glad to hear that!

I can tell from own experiences that tears are just supressed past emotions coming to the Light.
When you expose and dive in your deep wounds healing can begin.

So Julius, greetings from Julijus,
stay strong and seek Him wholeheartedly.

 

I don't really know what to say. I am really glad you said this.

 

Hey brother I just relapsed and tried to cryed to. I couldn't shed tears though I was left emotionless from the alcohol. I was angry at myself for drinking and then pm. It's a good thing he always forgives cuz I've messed up a lot in my life. I think as long as we guard our thoughts and what we put into out body, we're okay. I think we have to obstain from all types of triggers and stop entertaining thoughts before they build into actions. God bless, u can do it! I have faith in u man!

 

I'm so sorry that you've been through that, I'm afraid of that myself. I would go underground if my boss would find out about my dirty little secrets. I bet we all here are.

I think, that everytime there is suffering or shame, like payday you've mentioned there's also one more thing going on in the background. God is poking at your ego. There's this fallen nature of ours that is always trying to look good, to be somebody big and strong, to be on top, to be right. And this is not what He has prepared for us.

The second nature, the divine one is when we realise that there's no righteousness other then from Christ. Out stuff is lame, His is amazing and lasting.

Then you feel down or in despare this is the best moment to take your old clothes off. When you got nothing of your own - no pride, no strenght - this is when you can feel more of His glory and strenght. I've been practising looking for this state of self and I can see progress with my addiction.

 

I actually heard of someone who got fired for looking porn while at work.

@fedupist a book you might want to read is The Marshmallow Test - it's a book that goes into detail of what is going on in the brain when we give into temptation and how we can stop falling when we're tempted. If you don't have the time to read the book you can read this short article that summarizes the book (but it's better if you read the book imo).

This video might also help:



This video too might be helpful:



IMO reading the Bible can be good but sometimes you need something practical. At times the practicality of scripture regarding porn addiction can get lost in it's text.

 

Yo dude, I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I’ve been PMOing for over a decade and I’ve hit those low points too. I’d feel like crap all the time and feel like God is disappointed in me. Then one day someone close to me said that God doesn’t want us to hate ourselves or think we are worthless to him. That’s the devil’s greatest weapon; not just the sin, but the guilt that follows and eats us alive. After that, even when I messed up or relapsed, I no longer feel any worthlessness. I feel regret and disappointment, but I give that to God in repentance and go forward. Remember the tale of the prodigal son; if you repent the sin with all your heart, he will make a way for you. God bless.

 

I can empathise with you. Like you I have struggled with the sin of laziness and have regularly Masturbated in my office restroom. I have lived in fear at being caught and having my lifestyle exposed. Like you I have worked in Christian ministry and have been crushed by the weight of my own hypocrisy. I will be following your forum and progress with interest. I would like to invite you to follow my thread as well. It is called Bible Devotions for NoFap. In it I post bible verses and articles concerning the fight against sexual sin. Feel free to search it. I hope it will be helpful.

One word of wisdom I have for you is from Acts 11:28. In it we read that God grants repentance. This is a theme throughout the book of Acts. Although we are commanded to repent it is not something we achieve out of our own merit. It is given to us out of the grace of God. Repentance is not a condition for our salvation, it is an evidence of our salvation. As you embark on your own road of sanctification remember that it will be the Holy Spirit who changes you, not your own will power. Walk closely with Christ, pray for strength, and know that no matter how great your sin is Christ is a greater savior. As Paul writes to Timothy in 2 tim 2:25, God grants repentance and it leads to a knowledge of the truth. I hope that in the coming weeks we will both grow in the knowledge of Christ's loves for us and how great and awesome his atonement must be to save us from so deep a sin.

God Bless