Feeling lonely and depressed...

I've struggled with depression my whole life. First had an existential crisis when I was around nine years of age. I have them a lot. I thank God for what I have, but I don't seem to be interested in what most people are in Northern California.

To be fair, I did not grow up around the area I live in now, so that has to be a major part of it. You learn a lot from NoFap! I'm on day 18 now.

Things are becoming more clear. I believe others are changing around me, but maybe it's me that is changing around them. I've deactivated all my social media accounts. Technically, This will be the only place I really speak to anyone outside of work. I've alienated people I used to be close with. I've done this because unfortunately I didn't believe them to be my friend all along.

Being apart of this site, giving up my vices (especially porn), has been helpful, yet it also has been hurtful. Have any of you ever experienced this? It is hard because I am rebooting not only myself, but other people I choose to correspond with. I've been alone this whole 18 days. Have not spent time with any friend or acquaintances. Sadly, I believe I really only have one friend. He's a like a brother to me. I have my roommates, but lately even they have been pissing me off to the point of not wanting to speak to them. I do not regret becoming reclusive! I did join this site, I am finishing school, and getting amazing grades! I also am finishing my novel, so it isn't all negative. How did you overcome the challenge of reboot, but managed to still have a social life? I don't why I want to be a recluse, but something tells me it's my depression. I just don't feel good enough to spend time with other people...

A lot of women write me off because I don't have a car. Actually all women do. I take the bus, walk or I take uber to wherever I go. For this, people speak to me like I have a handicap, for not owning a vehicle. I donated my vehicle because I live close enough to where I work; I go to school online; I f***ing hate driving; however, I still find ways to get around. But once a lady finds this out, most of the time they're disinterested. I gave my car up because I also want to contribute less to having a giant carbon footprint.

Self-awareness increases when you eradicate vices, as well as augment your reality with rebooting. I'd be remiss to not appreciate the dichotomy between porn addiction and clarity in sobriety. The reality that manifests itself is quite extraordinary, but I'd love to hear about anyone's experiences! How do you overcome loneliness? Or depression? Positive ideas please, do not troll this post. I am a depressed person, who takes things quite personally, sorry! Honesty is awesome!

God bless you, and thank you to whoever reads this post,

Best regards,

Christopher.