feeling lonely and acting out

I've just been feeling very lonely lately. I'm always up and down hot and cold but this week, I got extremely defensive at work after the owner/boss changed our commission plan. This basically took away commission/money from me. As a result I fired off a bunch of emails detailing a whole lot of deficiencies in our company and put a lot of blame on my two managers of company wide issues. Me and the owner get along well enough, personal bias aside that is. I let him know that I am pissed about his direction with the commission but I was able to go off on my other managers to him and have a constructive conversation on where the company is headed.

It's like all I have is this stupid job, and no girl. I was close about 2 months ago, but now that's over.

It didn't end there though, after work at night I went to the cvs right next to where I live and I was attempting to buy something that was on sale, however it didn't ring up as a sale item and the cashier was being a prick. I told her the item was on sale and then she said it wasn't, I said she should go look and she said no. Immediately I asked to speak to the manager who was not there, eventually he comes from outside and he did acknowledge the item was on sale. at this point though I was so fed up with how long he took I didn't want the item. The girl was still being loud and obnoxious the whole time. I was insistant on filing a complaint against the girl. The mangager didn't want to provide me the phone number so I found it in on my phone and called right then and there. i told the complaint line I wanted the girl fired. I called again today and reiterated this.

I'm going back and forth in my head about this and if it's right/wrong morally what am I doing etc. If i wasn't so damn lonely I probably wouldn't expend energy on trying to ruin someone's livelihood...then at the same time she could have just checked and this could have been solved. Hell, if I had someone, maybe I don't go to CVS to buy some ice cream to begin with.

 

I mean I did say there was a mistake and that the item was on sale. She kept saying it wasn't and I said she could take a look. I was cordial enough with my ask when she didn't move to look I asked her again, 'you aren't going to look' and she looked blank and said "no" then I got sharp with my words and asked for the manager and added a "hurry up" to my demand. The problem is, I met her ignorance with my own. In some ways I feel like getting her fired saves everyone who walks in the store, in another way, I feel for her need of having a job or whatever. I am weighing back n forth on calling the complaint line again to deescalate my complaint still. I don't feel like I blamed her for the issue, but I put the onus on her to fix the issue and when she didn't then I put blame on her for not trying to fix it. The particular store has like 1.5 or 2 stars on google reviews for what its worth.

I work at a very small company, there is like 5-7 of us working in the back office, everyone else works on a government contract onsite. I actually care that the owner is successful, but he keeps trying to sh*t on the wrong people in the company and I feel like it's guided by these two managers that he will never distance himself from. Anyway yeah i'm looking for a new job so hopefully something comes of it.

 

Thank you for this, I think this was what I was trying to convey in my first post, pretty much, why am I trying to breathe meaning into this negativity and let it drive me? I'm going to call the complaint line and ask to just speak to the District Manager and explain that i do understand his employees have a hard job but that it gets more complicated when bad interactions with customers happen, I don't want the person fired but do expect the person to do their job when working. And just leave it at that.

With work I've been trying to distance myself, but it's like it's all I got so sometimes I just act out. I'm going to continue working on this.

 

Okay so today I was given a call from the CVS store manager. He immediately apologized but I had a more deeper conversation with him. I told him that I did not want any of the employees to get fired but that I hope they can be better. I told him that I can understand their negativity or rather the 'matter of fact' type of attitude as this store frequently gets robbed etc. He told me that he felt I was a stand up guy and that if I ever had any issues please go through him instead of calling corporate. He even suggested that the manager on duty made it difficult for me to call the corporate number when he gave me the number he gave me and he was upset about it. After taking some time, I realized that I don't want to ruin someone else's livelihood, but I did want to get my point across. Whether the store manager actually reprimands them or not I can't know, but what I do know, is that multiple people had to get involved which was their time spent just like my time was spent and wasted bc of one employees action. At the end of the day, a twisted as it may, that's my thing...if you waste my time then expect the same back. I am happy he took the initiative to call me and I am happy to put this all behind me. New week better outlook on my end.