Feeling locked out of society, porn seems appealing now.

So just talked with a friend who I been friends with since second grade in elemntary school. So about 20 years. We talked for 38 minutes and I wanted to meet but he didnt also he was the first to end conversation despite that we ussualy talk like hour. Anyway hes introverted but even he have enough of friends. I on other hand dont have real friends(have few user friends, one wants me to buy him food all the time, other wants to spend time only when he ask for money) except him and on top of that things with girls dont go so well.

Been messaging with this girl with who I used to date half year ago(We met again few weeks ago and it was good time together as we both liked it). Since yesterday she stopped responding. That sucks. Cause I did offer her to go to 5 star hotel during weekend(also visiting historical places during those two days) with me on a trip to neighbor country tru travel agency. I said she wont have to pay for anything. And dont have agree right away, have 5 months to think. She seemed open up after that but that was Thursday, now its Sunday.
So really sitting here alone and dont know where to go, what to do. Porn seems appealing now but I know it wont give me anything in the long run. Just really losing motivation to stay clean cause right now things looks bad despite staying clean for so long.

 

Why you going to ruin your streak? it's not worth if you really like her.

 

Not going to ruin the streak just felt like unmotivated. Sure Im doing this for myself so others shouldnt affect my streak since I cant blame anyone if I lose my streak.

 

Go out and make friends, hang out with family or some thing man. Join clubs and community service, there's alot of people who like to do that. They even have support groups for this type of thing I believe.

Your life is in your own hands brother. You say you are alone, but I say you are looking in the wrong places. Go out and get what you want. You can do it!!