Feeling empty

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by The runner, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Anyone else feel empty when they want sex but never have had it? Am 35 year old virgin. Have never asked a girl out yet. Doing all I can now though. Had a medical treatment that made me out to it which was stopped at 35th birthday so since then I am looking to start a relationship. I just feel always empty because I want sex but don't have it. Always really wanted to be in a relationship but was a Christian and couldn't fulfil the responsibilities of marriage for a wife so had to abstain and not marry/be in intimate relationship. Is it just me that feels like this because I don't have sex? How does not ever having had sex make you feel if you are keen on it?
     
  2. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    Well, you do have sex! You're a man! Whenever a pregnant woman has a baby, the first question on everyone's mind is a sexual one. Is it a boy or a girl? We simply cannot function or relate somehow until that question is answered. Male and female are the human energies to relate to other males and females. If one were to pick up a book entitled, "The sexual life of a nun," I'm sure most would think it was going to be some dark, clandestine book of secret rendezvouses that end in sordid sexual activities, but that's one's own mind in the gutter (shame on you), not the nun's. A nun is not genderless android, but is a woman fully alive in her vocation of celibacy, even. Similarly, you are a man fully alive as a man - you relate to the world as man, and the world relates back to you as such. You experience enlivening male energy (most especially with no PMO) that is a catalyst of creativity in everything you may do, if you let that creative energy out, that is. And all this can be perfectly true even when a man is celibate, and perhaps especially more so (a celibate is not bound to another person's will that may restrict his vocation, aspirations, or choices outside of married life to be lived out to the fullest). I don't think so much that genital activity is going to be the answer in fulfilling the full yearning of what the soul of a man is really seeking. But, don't confuse sex as being just genital activity either - sex is intertwined with our state of being and power of relating to others (to other men and women), whereas genital activity is a short-lived verb. All celibate folk should cultivate close friends and nongenital relationships as well - as no man is an island. Ultimately, all men will feel an existential angst of being alone, even if surrounded by friends, a wife, and a crowd. It's the lot of us all. If you're a religious person as well, you should grow more to recognize this - that you can have underlying joy and peace being alone unto yourself with the fullness of God within you. That is the starting point where any other relationship or spouse even will authentically enter your life (and when we're not even trying), not the other way around, which is simply a needy codependent cry for another to fulfill you, which can really never happen that way.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2019
  3. QuietKarma

    QuietKarma Fapstronaut

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    I don't know you, but based on your message it sounds like you lack confidence my friend. But no worries! This is something that you can change. Why don't you try having a more positive mindset, go out and travel, go to the gym and get a great body, try to spend less time isolated on the internet, and more time out in the real world. Soon enough you will find yourself developing as a person and progressing into someone that will be able to attract people into their life. And yes, sex will eventually come. But don't focus on this in the first place!
     
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Once you have sex.... once you have a relationship.... then you'll be happy and fulfilled like everyone else that has sex and relationships right?

    You feeling empty is a pattern. A habit of thinking, feeling, and behaving in an empty way. You could have sex hundreds of times... have thousands of relationships... billions of dollars in the bank.... and you'd still be the same empty person. Just more distracted and numb from actually realizing that you're still the same empty person.

    It doesn't matter who you're with, what you have, where you are, or what you're doing. Wherever you go, there you are.

    The lower emotional intelligence / mental strength / inner foundation that someone has, the more external stimulation one needs to escape themselves.

    If only I had this or that.... then I can be happy and fulfilled..... then I can avoid being with myself... then I can forget who I really am.... then other people can validate the things about me that I can't validate on my own.

    People aren't attracted to those who are desperate and reactive towards the external. They're attracted to those who overflow from within.

    Your need for sex to escape emptiness will manifest itself in your behaviors for everyone to see.

    Why would anyone want to be a part of your life if you're so busy trying to escape it?
     
  5. Erichpure

    Erichpure Fapstronaut

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    Why don’t you try date someone. Does not need to be marriage right away? Can check it out. Get experiences and start living it. On the way you can possibly find someone you really like. If you don’t live it it’s only in your head.
    Not living it at all can be a serious hindrance or blockage of energy too.
     
    The runner likes this.
  6. This. + a positive self image
     
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  7. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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  8. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    This is good. I like it. Thanks friend.
     
    JoeinMD likes this.
  9. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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  10. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    No way mate, I don't think a woman will fulfil me. That comes with its own challenges. Definitely not. Just been what I have wanted to do my whole life and never entered the arena. Better start moving more I suppose. Just wondering what the effects of a unwillingly celibate life are for others that's all.
     
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  11. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I need to stop watching other people do what I want to do and start actually doing it myself.
     
  12. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I think I am pretty good. Just have never moved into asking a girl out yet. I have a good body, pretty ripped actually, good brain, decent personality. Not bad. Just need to actually move towards what I want in life in a way that can actually change it I suppose. Start doing not watching. Thanks guys.
     
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  13. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that's good. My life is actually really good but this part sucks tbh. I just have to watch everyone else in a relationship while I don't fulfil that part of what I want in life. Like I said I need to start pursuing what I want for myself. I am happy in myself but this bit could be better.
     
  14. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Escape my life? I know no woman would want that. I get into it mate, give it my all to be successful. Just need to get off my ass and pursue a relationship. Never have. Life is good, I enjoy it, just this one way drags it down for me. I am not into 36 years of unwilling celibacy that's all. Big thing for me. Gym all the time, better guns, buns, abs everything. Get good. Career, friends, everything. Do well, just want something I have never had. Should move towards it obviously.




     
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  15. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    I have confidence, it is needed. Just want a type of relationship I have never tried to get until now. Only had a few months. Met lots of girls but not my type etc. Girls need confidence. I have what it takes. Just feel there is more to life than what I am experiencing currently for religious reasons. Avoiding all sex until find someone I am willing to marry. And therefore struggling with porn. There has to be more to experience than unmet needs all the time. Increases t levels, get ripped, no one to enjoy it in my life anyway. I need to man up and go for what I want. Take responsibility and do it like a man. Treat her good. Pursue relationship. Not complain. Shut up and act. So should have said 'empty in this way' because I am pretty damn good otherwise.
     
  16. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Hey finding a good woman to marry is worth it btw to me.
     
  17. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Yr
     
  18. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Remember that real and true happiness is built from within, independent of material and external factors. Also, sexual energy is a man's most powerful energy that can be transmuted into very productive and fulfilling activities that are truly moving and changing himself and the world around him.
    All of the greatest thinkers, inventors, entrepeneurs, leaders, and other great minds throughout history have had the ability of not only mastering the power of creative imagination and persistence but also the power of sexual transmutation which they used as one of the main tools of making their dreams and visions become a reality.

    Those who are misusing the potential of sexual transmutation (by frequently indulging in sexual activities of all kinds) descend and reduce themselves and their capacities to no more than the level of an animal. Hence, they never go very far in life but always seem to be stuck and barely moving forward. Look at any person in your social circle or family who have these bad habits.
    How many of them are achieving great, purposeful and fulfilling things in their lives?
     
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  19. The runner

    The runner Fapstronaut

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    Yeah working on the inside too currently. Appreciate the input.
     
  20. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    True statement! People these days are very likely unhappy as a result of starting at and looking at life from the wrong end, in combination with living a spiritless life within the material world only, the six senses and the conscious mind. They always claim, "Just as soon as I get this or that, I will be happy" and when they do, they are still the same empty, clueless and miserable human being they were before.
    Hence, they continue being dependent on outside factors and circumstances only and automatically react to them, blaming them instead of looking at themselves and their own level of consciousness and awareness.
    These people will never find or build true happiness from within unless they start to look at themselves, the world of spirituality and the infinite possibilities that are within reach through the infinite intelligence which occupies everything in the world and the entire universe.
     

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