Feeling bad and lonely.

Hello people ! I am on the 4th days without MO and you can check below my days in no P.
Well these days I feel weird. I am angry with myself that I spent all these years to porn and masturbation and I really want to change my life and I will do it. But after I started my journey here I became more sensitive and depressed.
I was out yesterday and I saw some pretty beautiful girls and I was so sensitive that I felt in love with many of them (yea I know, I am idiot).
But it was one girl there I was sitting that she was like angel with her blonde hair and I can't forget her.
I think that it is a big problem for me, because there are so many beautiful girls out there and I can't fall in love with every girl. That will destroy my mood.
When I was into porn and masturbation I did not feel like that because my addiction made me forget about other parts of real life. Is that something you all face people ? Is that a good sign or I have problem with my mood ?
I really want to get rid of that feeling. I feel like I am weak and every beautiful girl will save me. That feeling is destroying me. Do I look for attention ?

Thank you for your time !

 

I did not think about that girl badly. On the other hand I want nothing from her than just looking her beauty.
I am sad not because she rejected me or something sexual but because I saw her once and I will never see her again.
The problem is that this happens with me a lot. Maybe its because I don't go out a lot and I am very enthusiastic and weak.
I hope through self-improvement I will become better and more confident and I will not be like a boat in the ocean that gets carried away from the waves...