Feel stuck in life

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. So I guess I'll just start by saying that I haven't been happy in a long fucking time. I mean truly happy. I've had some fucked up things happen in my life, which I won't discuss too much because it's just too personal, but pretty much it's just left me feeling so fucked up. I mean, there are people out there who have it much worse, and I try to appreciate what I have, but you can't change what happens in your life and sometimes it's hard to move on. So, I lost one of my parents to cancer about a year ago and it's been hard to move on from it. I'm not gonna delve into details, but that's what happened. It's left me all fucked up. Ever since then and even before that, I worked 12 hours a night 5 days a week. I've been doing that for almost 2 years and while I'm grateful to have a job, it's just too much sometimes because all I do is fucking work and sleep and it's no way to live my life. Ok, rewind about a month ago. I was a virgin until last month and one random night I had sex with a girl at my friends house. I didn't really know her, but I had heard about her for years and then finally just hooked up with her. It was fun as hell and everything, but it left me feeling pretty empty inside because it was just sex. I always thought having sex would change everything. I was wrong. I actually think I have feelings for the girl. I fucking hate to admit it, but I actually still kinda feel things for her. I've hooked up with another girl since then and I really felt nothing for her, but the first girl I actually felt things for. I keep wondering if it's just because it was my first time. It was a completely new experience for me, so it's no surprise if I feel new feelings. For her it was just casual sex, which is fine, but I still think of her sometimes. I think it's more than just the fact that she was my first. There are things about her that I find very interesting. I mean, it doesn't matter because it's not gonna go anywhere. I'm just not sure if I feel like this because of her or because it was my first time and it was "special" to me. Either way, I realized that when I hooked up with her, I hadn't been that fucking happy in so many years. It wasn't even the sex, which was great, but it was really just having that connection with someone. I was new to sex sure, but this shit just felt like more than that. Sleeping with her and holding hands, staring into each others eyes, kissing passionately and all that shit. It's hard for me to describe this because I'm not the most romantic person. So yeah, I've lost someone extremely close to me because of fucking cancer, I work a long, boring job and have no time to do anything, and I don't have anyone "special" in my life, romantically. I just feel really depressed and empty. To think having sex would make me feel even worse. I mean, I'm definitely glad that I had sex, but I was not aware of how it can make you feel. Anyway, any feedback is appreciated. Gotta go to work now. Fuck.
     
  2. tiredofbeingtired

    tiredofbeingtired Fapstronaut

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    The reality of sex is that it is an emotional, intimate experience despite how much society tries to pretend otherwise.

    My 2 cents: Only have sex with people you have a previously established, emotionally intimate relationship with and you'll be a lot happier and satisfied.

    I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time and I'm so sorry that you lost someone so close to you.

    Letting your brain heal through NoFap and following where that takes you can really put you far on your way to experiencing happiness again. But it sounds like you should also consider seeing a psychologist.

    I sincerely hope you feel better soon. Please don't lose hope though. Life can be beautiful and happy, and joyous, even if you can't imagine it now. Remember that everything in life is impermanent.
     
  3. Yeah I've thought about therapy, but I really don't know if I need it. I mean, I definitely wouldn't wanna do it, not gonna lie, but I feel like I can get through it with enough time. I try to stay positive. It seems to work honestly.
     
  4. Kizito.D

    Kizito.D Fapstronaut

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    I'll tell you my story (short version ~ish).

    In my first year of university, there was this girl whom i can say i fell inlove with at first sight (and that had never happened to me before). It took me 6 months to tell her that i love her (i know, sounds waaay too looong, but it is what it is).

    There were complications after that but like 6 months later, we were officially together. I really loved my life when i was with her and i was ready for anything life threw at me. I even considered possibility of marriage and kids and all that.

    We broke up 2 years later for a very dumb reason. I felt like i was dying on the inside and outside. I felt like i have nothing to live for. I tried to get over her by finding another girl but i still felt the void inside me. I was miserable.

    It went on for 2 more years, and then it hit me! I cant live my life like this! I cant mope around for things that i cant change, things that happened in the past! Yes, I found love, felt really really good, but shit happened and i lost it. Its time to suck it up and move on with my life. Maybe i may find something like it someday.

    So, i accepted my situation, and now am way better than i was back then.

    I think the key was accepting that stuff happens in life (for better or worse), but the challenge is learning from experience, and turning whatever shitty cards you've been dealt with by "life" into Aces.

    My advice to you: Dig deep, find your inner~self, aknowledge that things (bad or good) did happen in your life (especially the ones you cant change), be at peace with them and move on (or change what you can change).. It may not take a day or a week or a month, but the healing shall be worth it.

    All the best.
     
    sev94 likes this.
  5. The Unfadeable

    The Unfadeable Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you need therapy at all. I couldnt imagine loosing a parent. Something like that takes time to deal with so its no surprise you may struggle with that at times. I've had tons of experience dealing with jobs that were less than fulfulling and some that I could barely stand. You need to pay the bills, and your schedule sounds difficult but its important not to go into trance mode. It's important to focus on how blessed you are and it's equally important not to loose sight of where you want to go. Its really easy to dissasociate or go into a negative head space but your attitude sounds pretty positive so Im sure youll be fine.
    In regards to the sex, It looks like you figured out that this sexually obsessed mentality is based on bullshit and lies. Sexual relationships and relationships in general are nothing to play around with and can have serious emotional, physical and spiritual consequences. Im sure youve also discovered how awesome pussy is, lol. Take your time with this stuff going forward and youll be all good.
     
    Kizito.D likes this.
  6. Faygal

    Faygal Fapstronaut

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    Off handedly letting everyone know you live a life of debauched ennui, not a full one. What a Balsac.
     
  7. I've been delving into spirituality here lately and I'm trying to be more positive. Goddamn it's hard sometimes. Negative experiences make you stronger as a person, but that doesn't make it any easier.
     
  8. Hahahaha, yeah it's pretty amazing, but I do need to be careful about it. I still find myself thinking about the first girl I hooked up with, which kinda sucks. I realized that I still have feelings for her, but I just have to move on. I need to meet some girls man, but I work all fucking week long. I'm probably gonna have a dry spell for quite a while. Fuck my life haha.
     
  9. Sôgmô Gray Lock

    Sôgmô Gray Lock Fapstronaut

  10. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    if your going through hell keep on going. Have faith in the system and know that if you do whats right there will ultimately be a tangible yield. Make a conscious effort to initiate positive change and don't be afraid to make mistakes or go after what you want in life. I'm familiar with that lonely monotonous grind; its important to not get sucked in and have something in your life to work towards and get you out of bed every morning (or in your case night ;)).
     
    Kizito.D likes this.
  11. Kizito.D

    Kizito.D Fapstronaut

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    Life will not always be easy on us. We just need to find the best solutions on how to live our lives and be happy. Its simple, but not easy..
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. I've been trying to be more positive here lately and it's working. Things might be changing for the better here very soon. :)
     
    Mankrik and Kizito.D like this.

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