Feel lonely. Maybe just need to work my asss!!

Hi,
I advice you to lisent to music while doing your studies if you like , i have heard of a popular Japanese tips to avoid procrastination is to start a task for 10 min or 5 min try it , or maybe try the pomodore technique go check it in the internet , avoid distraction , go to a librabry , avoid overthinking and menage your time , and reward you self when you accomplish something , if you have another question don'y hesitate
See ya

 

hi @Roady
I just have a silly question , but how did you make you journal , and have a link bellow your profile image ?
See ya

 

Thanks mate , I appreciate your help

 

Hi ,
I already had a this kind of situation , the only tips i can give is don't be a people pleaser , act with confidence and don't care about how people sees you , try to overcome your fears , staying lonely with out trying to socialise gone not improve your social skills , i knew at the first time this seems very scary but by the time it's gone be easy like a game , and about loneliness try to hangout with one your best BEST friend and share with him your story maybe he gone understand you and help you . and finally stop overthinking and try to visualise things positively avoid bad scenarios that gone increase you chances of falling , be confident and overcome you fears after overcoming this issue you gone be happier , believe me
See ya

 

Hi Vishal Rob Singh. Thanks for starting this thread. I could relate alot to everything here. I think I relate a lot to what you described. Being a bit of a peoplepleaser etc.

Being prone to addiction, judging self harshly, low self esteem, stuffed feelings, difficulty forming relationships, fear of authority figures, and other things form the identify of a traumatized person who is prone to addiction. So these are the "false self" defense mechanisms learned early in life to cope with an unfriendly environment.

It is OK to have this stuff and once I started having a safe place I started to be more of my "true self". For example with people pleasing, a lot of people go to the other side which is disdaining the approval of others, acting out, etc. But with the "true self" it is about an integration. We can integrate people pleasing by getting to know our own boundaries better. And how far we can extend ourselves in kindness to others, or when to hold back on that. We can learn to set boundaries in a healthy and assertive way.

Another example of changing extremes is like when I go from doing PMO/video games/anime all day (thats my sort of dissociation mode) to then flip one day to workaholism. Both of these extremes are not my "true self" and reflect that I'm out of touch with my own true needs and feelings. Like other people mentioned, and like you're doing now, connecting with others in a meaningful way is the "third side" of the equation. A healthy possibility that exists aside from the unhealthy extremes of the "defense mechanism self".

So this definitely doesn't happen over night by I've experienced some recovery from it and I'm sure you can too. You're definitely on the right track just by posting here. I also think your original instinct in your first post on this thread was also wise.

 

Hi ,
Excuse me if i offend you with the word '' you are a people pleaser '' , i'm not a specialist too , i just suggest my opinion toward your situation , because me too i experienced , maybe my tips gone guide you a little bit to see more clearer and brighter
See ya mate

 

So you're lonely and you need to study, try to find or start a study group. Both problems can be solved with that, and maybe you'll form some new relationships.

It's not all bad that you like to care for others. That's a great quality, as long as you know your boundaries. Don't let people take advantage of you, but don't be mean for no reason either.

Maybe it would help to start working on things that can build your self confidence. Work on how you dress, exercise, read a book and learn something new. Other people can see when you are more confident, it shows. You don't have to be arrogant or vain, but just learn to believe in yourself and love who you are.

 

Don't feel lonely again.

NoFap seems like a family. I'm enjoying every minute here.