Feb Challenge for Christians war Group!

goodnight to myself.
Wonderful night to you

 

journey:92.
journal:9.
tip: understanding sperm: it is our life force, that is better than any other cell. brain cell is good but not good enough to create a new being, blood is good, but couldn't create a new being. at the end, only sperm can, and losing them equals to lose life force, we felt exhausted afterwards. and we do feel guilty and empty for it!
Feeling is true
fact of sperm is true
Plz save it for the day!

 

Journey: 93.
Journal: --.
Tips: playing game or online games (not single person sexual content type) would help you solve loneliness. Since internet is Doyle edged sword. You can use it for fap, also you can use it for nofap. Staying within communication and interaction would always help you feel less loneliness and relief urges.

 

journey: 94.
journal: 11.
tips: since someone wants the feeling after nofap 90 days (hard mod). here is the description i found online.

 

journey: 95.
journal: 12.
today, I stopped playing video games, and you would ask me why I am mentioning video game. Here are the reason: last week, urges hit me really deep than i ever could image, and I knew it is the side effect of nofap over 90 days. I managed to overcome the 90 days, and I did have experience. But this time, it is something that I knew that would cause relapse.
Since I had old habit (or bit addiction) to video games, and I had long time not touch it. I just felt the switching life habit would change the strength from urges. So I played video straight forward after my daily work until last night. Then I slept late, but I had enough sleep. My body function told me urges are bit gone, and I could manage it now.
I hit 90 days about 3 years ago, and at some point of my school I relapsed after couple 100 days due to the stress. Then i got a gf, and I started this journey again after 1-2 years dating finished. I realized that I have more things to do on nofap to benefit my life rather than just making out ( I didn't actually sex, due to the reason we both wished that we could do it after marriage-which is good for both of us in many ways, but still we broken up). At this point, I realized that I still didn't understand the meaning of urges, are they from triggers, or somewhere else?
Here are some of my status after 90 days, I definitely don't want to relapse even I feel wanted. As I made a picture said something like this:

You Definitely feel more power over controlling self, and life. Indeed, it helps relations and work and health (plz refer to the video I posted yesterday on my Feb Challenge Thread). You are brighter and happier than others. At this point, I don't know that if I want to date or marry someone, because of these benefits for nofap-nosex.
However, here is the point: I still have urges even I control my life!

To be more specific, here are my details of urges in my journey.
1. First week is the easiest in the first month. If I could remember all the consequence of fapping, I could easily do it.
2. After first week, the urges would still be low if I don't contact sexual stuff (magazine, book, photo and video included anime and porn). Easy to achieve the rest of 3 week under this situation of first month.
3. After first month, this is the time when urges came seriously. If you haven't had wet dream, it comes, if you haven't had strong urges, it come as well. How to describe this level of urges? It feels like 2 or 3 times more serious than the time in first month. It is a way of memory reflection of all the sexual stuff. It just hit you nerve and tempted you as much as it can. How I overcame it to reach the second month? Making notes. I made notes of my past and people's past and also described how my and other's method to overcome urges. Once I felt urges, I came back to the notes and read them again and again. My scars (past experience) made me go through this month as well.
4. Roughly, I used the same method to overcome the urges after wet dreams in all these days.
5. After second month, I had enough experience on having of habit of making notes or making nofap pictures which helped me out. It is easier for me to overcome these urges at the moment (again same type urges - memory types that are 2 or 3 time stronger than the first month urges). No doubt, I reached my 90 days - Third month.
6. After the 90 days, these are the true urges, no temptation, no memory reflection, no talking, but pure actions. The reason it is called true urges, because all the previous urges are not actions, they are thoughts, if you could kill your thoughts, you could manage them (refer to my thoughts kill theory in my pic thread #17 on page 1: https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/pics-to-warn-me-and-make-me-NoFap-longer.87661/). But action urges are really like orders. It doesn't tempt you, or trick you. What you get are orders!!! Urges are like your boss, give you orders to do this to do that, you can reject orders, but much harder than just temptation ones. I would say that it is 5 times more fked up than first month urges (excuse for my languages, just wanted to spread my true feelings). So, I have to make myself somewhere else, for example, playing video games (non-sexual, not single mode, but multiplayer ones, which could help me to message others and focus more on something or someone else instead of myself). I overcame it until this morning-noon, since I played it crazily, and slept late. I just want to make sure all my brain is full of game, and nofap knowledge (I still read some nofap tips these days in the early morning). At the end, both of these actions really helped me out, and I would like to make more notes as well for preventing future urges.
7. Here is my short summary of urges: urges did need triggers, someone already suffered from it. But this is more important: urges are inside not outside, it is not from porn, it is part of you. Here are the explanations:
In the first month: urges didn't fully wake up, it is partially working in your brain, and make you feel that urges are from past habit, not from human nature, which is totally wrong.
In the 2nd and 3rd months, urges did wake up more, and it becomes more real - memory reflections.
In the beginning of 4th month, urges became you and you became urges, at this moment, urges are fully waked up along with your self-control. Until this point, I realized that urges are from my nature, it could be caused by triggers, but it is truly from me not anywhere else. It is not from porn or porn star, or animation, or bad families or friends, but myself. Fap too much would kill partial satisfaction of urges, but enhance future ones. So fap is not a solution for nofap even it works. Nofap is not the final solution either because it is still outside of yourself (But it is one of the best solutions for the present, after marriage, you would have sex urges, or other urges that are as harmful as fap, at that moment, you have to learn more anti-addiction methods, and which means building up your understanding of addiction-self is the final step). For now, being a single really helped me out. Remember back days, the time I had a gf, nofap was had to stopped due this relationship. Right now, hit my 90 days again. And I would say that addiction do create personality and which is turned into yourself. Just like raising up a baby which takes time (I don't know how much time people spent on fapping in their life time, but from what I knew is several years). In a parable way: let's say that your addiction is a 3-4 years old kid. Right now your baby is going to die in the hospital from HIV or cancer, and you wanted him/her to die for your brighter future. But how long will it take if it was discovered right after he/she get the disease (this is the moment you discoverd nofap, and you want to quite porn and masturbation).
FOR HIV at least 10 year, for cancer, it depends. But for our addiction of fap, personally, I would say couple years of nofap is the minimum to kill the baby in the hospital unless you have to give up for your own excuses (Don't argue that, I wouldn't control you, which is your life not mine).
Killing baby theory is harsh, but it is how nofap people feel as well (part of you love that addiction/baby, part of you believe that it is wasting time on addiction/baby).

Don't worry about how life work and what is meaning of life. All you have to know is to stand up after failure, which is what I was told and what I am doing right now!

 

journey: 96.
journal: 13.
tips: not for today.

 

journey: 97.
journal: 14.
tips: keep busy in a way of elimination of tho thought, learn a skill like mindfullness or yoga through either internets or courses. This purpose is to keep you observing your thoughts.
Regards
Sh

 

journey: 98.
journal: 15.
tips: always exercise for 10 mins which is good in timing and brain relaxing.

 

journey: 99.
journal: 16.
tips: always do good to replace the karma of bad. Good causing Good result, bad causing bad consequence. God's plan is far more than you could believe, this is the clue of destiny. Can't say more, but should let you feel your own God's plan.
I had a line for past life and future life: What your past life happened is the consequence you are suffering in this life. What future life happening is the causes you are doing in this life.
Always do good, because it is nearly impossible to go to heaven. This would give you a easier and better life at least.
Good cause: preventing killing (any human and animal for no reason), adultering, disrespecting families and friends, cheating and lying.
The principle of earth law: Everyone takes care of their own karma (either good or bad results). No one or thing could help you or replace your consequence even their death or punishment. Answer is always inside, not outside. Seeking true answer of every single emotion or fact would only cuase mental disorder, NO EXCEPTION. NO EXCEPTION. NO EXCEPTION.
Principle of earth law always applys, and lust only turn human into an animal life, low social class, but life like animals.

 

journey: ---.
journal: 17.
tips: Human is not only applying physics, but also psychology. I don't believe momentum applying in human, because urges and triggers are really bothering, however, urges and triggers are not physical force, but a kidney-chemical wakers. Stupid scientist believed brain control all the nerves, but actually later on, smarter scientist discovered that Sympathetic nerves could control brain at some point. Since you penis had so many Sympathetic nerves, so it could literally take over your brain and make human live like a pig just sex and sex. So in the end, the time you exhausted yourself, then brain come back in control and saw a disaster in your body, what does brain give you. Disappointment and depression. So in the end, you turned back from pig to a human and didn't know how happened and what happened which cause social anxiety and confusion in the life.

 

journey: 101.
journal: 18.
tips: youth culture is associated with porn and animation. Fans always put their lust endless in the female characters, it is better to quit game and animation as well.
Which is what I learnt from ex and friends.

 

journey: 102.
journal: 19.
tips: the more you nofap, the more urges comes, and first thing you need to believe is to never trust your inner voices. As i mentioned before: true true true urges are yourself, not triggers, not outside (not porn stars, not movies, not porn). It doesn't matter if we have technologies or not, fap is fap, sex is sex, there is always lots people get addicted to it. Because God is in your heart, means Evil is in your heart as well.

 

journey: 103.
journal: --.
tips: the more your nofap, the more self-control you have on your body and mind.
that's why successor only talks about benefits because all the processes they go through are automatically controlled 100% by them.

 

journey: 104.
journal: 21.
tips: quite games would assist my way to nofap, start today to quite games

 

journey: 105.
journal: 22.
study no game day: 1.
tips: if we correct and repeat our errors everyday, we could always have a peaceful life. If we didnt', we might confuse ourselves, we might get angry by no reason, we might help others but got hated by these people, and we might have nightmares.

 

journey: 106.
journal: 23.
study no game day: 2.
tips: if doing good is for self, that is still a bad thing: because you spread a self-fake-doing for good theory that would harm more people and mislead more people.
if doing good for others by people, normally these people wouldn't spread it and it could be only known by the world instead of the human, so all the benefits from humans are gone, but benefits from the world increased.

 

journey: 107.
journal: 23.
study no game day: 3.
tips: save your work for the day, clarify good or evil in order to accumulate repeat yourself everyday.

 

Journey: 108.
Journal: 24.
Tips: everyone has their destiny, change it or not is up to you. But only extreme good people or extreme bad people could do it. Good people could get big amount of blessing to overcame the destiny. Bad people would get all kinds of punishment so that good destiny could not hold them up anymore. It is up to you in front of your destiny