Fear of Girls

Dude I know the feeling all too well.. Beautiful women are so intimidating to me. I don't feel worthy enough to even try to talk to them. It's evidence how damaging PMO is.

 

I'm in college now. Whenever a pretty girl happens to take the seat next to me, I'm in panic mode, like: oh god do I smell she's so pretty where do I put my hands should I pretend to be reading this philosophy book to make me look smart please help anyone and of course, she's got no idea, cuz she's a regular person trying to pay attention to the lecture.

I'm kind of the same, though I'd amend your example to WHEN WITH FRIENDS vs. WHEN WITH STRANGERS, or unfamiliar social environments. I'm more comfortable around people I've established a close bond with. Like, I've had pretty girls as friends, and I don't behave the same way around them the way I'd behave with a beautiful stranger. I can talk/joke with them like normal people. But porn has devastated my brain to the extent that I'm just constantly seeking beautiful faces out of the crowd and latching my dirty imagination onto them. Again, I get locked up. My body feels foreign all of a sudden. It's so frustrating. Ditto for social events - I just feel lonely and out-of-place and want to go home. But that doesn't do me any good, either. I understand you, to an extent, is all I mean.

Stay strong, man.

 

I think this is the outcome of life long PMO. You see woman only as sex objects, not as human beings. Good to see you are here, sorting out your p problem, the rest should follow.

 

The way that males and females communicate with their own sex is a fascinating thing in itself. Females tend to communicate more with their eyes. Maintaining eye contact and good smile should be the basic goal when conversing with them, followed by body language. Use the hands to motion what you're trying to say because it adds more value to your instrumental goal.

During my first few days of NoFap, I felt awkward around girls and they were smart enough to sense that I wasn't so confident around them. However, as the days on my counter grew, I realized that by simply being nice while conveying my words in a more slower and easier to understand kind-of-tone has allowed me to work on my communication skills with them. When they have a seat next to me, i just smile and look over to say, "Hi." If we maintain eye-contact long enough, I might ask a few basic questions such as, "How's your day going?" Followed by, "Awesome! That is good to hear." Then I might just focus on whatever I have to take care of. But, I'm not going to place her on a pedestal by embracing the idea that she can be possibly be the most beautiful thing I've seen on Earth.

I will think that way according to my thoughts, but I won't communicate that unless it is within a more comprehensive setting that allows me to show the more romantic side of myself.

I believe we all have these communication skills. It's a matter of belief and determination, reflecting on our thoughts, embracing our mistakes and learning from them. Not every social interaction is going to be great with a woman. Some of them feel that it is extremely boring when a man says, "Hey, what's up?" or, "How's it going?" Women like this exist and if they ignore you from a simple greeting, just accept the fact that they didn't want to respond because it comes from an insecure place of their own. It has nothing to do with you, your words as a man, along with the way that you've approached. Human-beings, we all project our insecurities. Sometimes it's in the form of an insult; sometimes it's the cold shoulder.

 

I know the feeling all too well

 

I'm pretty much in that situation. Since giving up PMO, I have no issue talking to women and maintaining eye contact with them. I just need to pluck up some courage to ask them out on dates.

Maybe I should approach it like I do with job applications/interviews and expect some rejection. Don't get my hopes up or anything to avoid disappointment. I'm quite a confident guy, but I do find it daunting asking girls out. At the end of the day, the worst they can do is say no.

If they say no, then move on. I'm not who she wants and/or it's her loss.

 

Experience.

When you started driving for the first time where your nervous? Then after years of driving you no longer think about it.

If you are spending no time around women at all and then suddenly start it will be like when you are first driving. But after a while your body gets used to it and you feel less anxiety.

 

cmon let's be serious we've all had fear of pretty girls even before pmo

 

This song very sums up this topic of conversation.

 

Unfortunately I stand in the same position. I get lost. Especially if the girl is pretty...

 

I also have this problem. Everytime I see a beautiful girl I want so badly to talk to her, to take her number, to know her better and to have a relationship, but I'm scared I might get rejected or she could make fun of me. It is indeed very unpleasant to have this feelings, but I believe some day we will surpass this if we practice.

 

Guys same was with me a while ago , I learned to face it , what happens when you hit your fist against the wall ? It hurt so bad ,, what happens if you call a girl a slut , you get punched in the face 100 percent chance ,, what happens when you walk up to a beautiful girl and say something like "wow you are so beautiful " she will be amazed by you ,because I can promise you you are probably the first random guy to say something like that to her ever , she would feel shy , meaning you lead the conversation ,tel her your name ,ask her number , be a man ,,,,, yeah yeah I know what you guys are going to say it is impossible ,, how is it impossible if you never tried , like I said your face hits the wall it hurts , you tell a girl she a slut it hurts ,, telling a girl she is beautiful absolutely nothing serious happens , maybe you get her number , but at least you can go to bed at night knowing you tried your best , if you workout you get results right ? Same with the girls ,, just try it one time guys ,just one time

 

Everybody is scared of rejection. It hurts. You however though can not live life on the sidelines.

 

DUDE I feel the same way. Generally I am moderately confident around men and women except for the girl I have liked for so long. And we have known each other for probably three years. Having conversations with her is just really hard work and I am so shy around her. It is frustrating!

 

...the main thing is: if you know you failed, or, assume that you failed . . Move on! Don't think about it, don't think about beating yourself up about it, and don't acknowledge it w/the same person by stating that you were tired, experienced a lack of energy to compensate the fact that you could've shown a better side of yourself, etc . . .

Using a baseball analogy: we all have to step up to the plate and swing before we understand that we can miss a swing, or, two. Effort is key; quality effort is an experience that builds upon itself from past failures. Confidence is when you accept a short-coming and see it as an opportunity to grow by trying something else. Let it go, keep positive attitude, knowing that you can grow and learn from every experience. Restart a new conversation w/the same person. Maybe say something different, ask a different set of questions around a subject that you would like to know...

Don't give up. You've got this!

 

I'm gonna try wasting your metal energy on things you can't control isn't worth it you just gotta show up I'll let you know how it goes if I get any opportunities this weekend