Fear of failure again

Hi! I'm quite new to this movement, but I'm desperately seeking a way to function properly when in a relationship with a woman again. It has been many years since I've been able to reach orgasm through penetration, and the relationships have therefore withered away.

I have been single for 3 years now, and was expecting to live the rest of my life as single because of this problem. A month a go I was approached by a wonderful and kind woman that I went on a few dates with. The dates went fine, and we are in a relationship now...YAY

However, at the last date we ended up in bed and she was all focused on making me orgasm. I got an erection and could maintain it, but felt no orgasm in the near future when having sex, so I stopped after a few minutes. Even though the room was dark, I literally could feel and hear her disappointment, which is always heartbreaking.

I knew this would be a problem, so I stopped PMing the same day she contacted me the first time. I later found out this seems like a case of PIED, so I came here eventually seeking help.

My girlfriend lives a 6 hour car drive away from me, so we don't see each other so often. Our next time together will be in 2 weeks.

My reboot goes fine, I feel no urge to PM, but I'm pretty worried over this flatline business that I just learned about and are experiencing. How long will this fase last generally speaking?

And should I be open about masturbating and watching porn at least a couple of times per week for a long time before meeting her, hence wrecking my normal sex drive? I have told her I can't perform because I was bullied when I was young and that I have low self esteem, which is all true.

I'm really scared of losing this kind and lovely woman from my life, so please advise!

PS! Sorry for any bad english.

 

Thank You so much for Your reply! We are both in our mid 40's so I guess I'll take a chance and stick to my reboot and hope that my body will heal itself. My girlfriend seem very understanding and she is a nurse, so I'm hoping she will be symphatetic if I have to confess my PIED, if my reboot doesn't work.

 

Tell her, especially as a nurse she should understand. Honestly she'll probably think better about it being from porn than from you being bullied as a child. I would just be careful not to rant to long about it especially if you lack confidence or it might scare her off. Vulnerability is cool but she's your girlfriend not your therapist so tell with confidence that your on it and you'll make it up to her soon enough.