extreme help needed

If you don't stop, it only gets worse.

I don't have experience with this sort of porn, but many here do. You can search for sissy and femdom and find plenty of people posting about it, many of whom are recovering.

But to stop watching this stuff is imperative. It is soul destroying.

 

I'm just going to repeat this for emphasis. There are plenty going through this and I feel bad you have gotten into it. Just realise that you are stronger than this and that your brain CAN be reprogrammed.

You aren't alone in this fight.

 

I can relate to this. I know how scary it can be to watch porn, which is considered very dark.

Unfortunately, this is quite common for porn addicts nowadays. A lot of people get addicted to this kind of porn. It's crazy, if you think about it. What is objectively arousing at being dominated and verbally abused by women? Not so much, right? Porn is a crazy addiction.

I'm a strong believer in the thesis, that every damage done by porn can be reversed. The brain is plastic, so when we damage it greatly by watching fucked up porn, I'm sure that we can fix it too. Maybe look at it from this perspective: If you stop watching porn, you have a good chance of reversing all the damage done to your brain. But if you don't stop and continue watching, you will not only have a 0% chance of healing, but also a great chance of damaging your brain further. So nothing is worse, than simply to keep watching porn. Stop it now and give yourself at least the chance to reverse the damage. You can do it, man. I know that.

I can relate to this so much. The downward spiral of pornography is a crazy thing. It happened to me as well as to many other guys, unfortunately. We are in this battle together, so let's keep fighting.

Best regards!

 

Often this kind of fetish is just due to escalation into more shocking/graphic types of P over years of repeat viewing. It does not necessarily reflect your true nature. As others have said, abstaining from all kinds of P so you can reset is essential.

But also I think one must do some self-work to compliment this. Maybe there are some positive actions you can replace the P with. Maybe an exercise program, or reading an inspiring book, or learning a musical instrument, or taking steps to find new friends, etc. My point is you have to replace the easy PMO reflex with thoughts and actions that feed your mind/body/spirit. That will help you reconnect with your core self, and when that happens, you'll see that you never had anything to worry about.

 

I escaped it and I loathe that material. I understand what you are going through. I went through some extreme measures to force myself away from that material and I can say it worked. Most of you don’t have to do what I did (I.e. voluntarily relocate for work and limit internet only for work and communication, cut myself off from ever purchasing things to fuel the paraphillia etc). Understand that you have a choice, and you know where one leads and it’s no where good, the right choice is the unknown, don’t try to imagine life without that crap...that’s too easy. Imagine yourself making the decision to let it go, avoid it, and move on.

This sick fetish can suck every bit of creativity and self worth out of you, counteract that by filling yourself with purpose, goals, and energy.

Learn a new skill, research about things you always wanted to get into but couldn’t. Learn that mastery takes time, effort, and discipline but the reward is immensely rewarding because you have made yourself a more interesting person by doing so.

Don’t give up on yourself, because that’s exactly what that cult wants you to do.

 

This is extremely helpful. Not just for the OP, as I'm not struggling with the same porn-induced fetishes that he is, but it's just a useful thought for porn addicts in general. I appreciate your words, @IR254

 

Thank you for letting me know. It makes me happy, when my suggestions help people. That way I know I'm not completely useless.

 

I don't think anyone is useless, really. We all carry a piece of the puzzle that makes up humanity as a whole, and we have the gift of being able to share our experiences with one another.

 

Find support to help you stop looking, @betterlife1. As many have already said, as long as you continue looking, porn - in whatever form - will have a hold on you. And this is a progressive situation; it gets worse and worse.

For me, a big first step in not looking was installing an internet filter. I use K9 which is free and comes with automatic blocks, custom blocks, and time blocks - all of which have proven extremely helpful to me. Also extremely helpful: Give the password to someone else!

All the best. Recover is possible. But it's hard work.

 

@betterlife1, take the advice you've been given here. I know it's tough to go through, but think about it in terms of working out at the gym. You resist the temptation of going after whatever your hit was, and, after 90 days you haven't healed, you should have at least started. You've identified your problem, and you know what you were watching isn't what you really want (relations with women-folk), so hit the psychological gym of a reboot and watch yourself bulk up.

 

That's okay. I sizeable chunk of the people here want relations with women, and if you're in a position to develop it, I'll be leading the cheer squad (online - it'd look a little creepy if I showed up with a betterlife1 flag when you're on a date). I guess I'm trying to advocate a position of 'delayed gratification'. You do the work on yourself now, and when you've got that female friend in a more-than-friends scenario, you'll be able to perform a lot more like the man she's needing, as opposed to every other chump who blows his load in a tissue.

Is that a little clearer (if cruder)?

 

This is why you MUST start NoFap now - you are on the verge of doing stuff you will hate yourself for.

This stuff will only get worse. You can end up like this guy: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/very-extreme-severe-femdom-real-life-help.120520/

DON'T BE THAT GUY.

 

[POSSIBLE TRIGGER]

As a cis-het male, I'll be up-front and so I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of someone I may be involved with in the future giving me a pegging, but these situations you, and many others, find yourselves in isn't that at all. You've been manipulated into something and I wish I could get you out.

*jumps in*

Look, now I'm down here with you (figuratively) - I'll show you the way out. One day at a time stay strong in moments of weakness, work on developing yourself,

You've got this.