Excited about getting married!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by EarthDragon, Dec 17, 2015.

  1. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Hello Guys,

    I haven't been here for the last 5 months, but everything is going well. I'd like to share some of my experiences from the past 10 months or so, even though I signed up to nofap 2 years ago.

    If you have been here long enough, you probably bumped into my posts and you probably got tired of me saying the same things over and over again, that the first and foremost reason that I managed to keep myself clean, is the zero tolerance about P or M or O. It sounds obvious but it's not. What I'd like you to understand, that if you let even a little P, or even a little edging into your life, you won't reboot. Maybe you won't totally relapse but you take unnecessary risks.

    My second point is -as always have been- that you must take care of your core problem. It can be loneliness, feelings of abandonement, lack of self esteem, whatever, you must try to heal that. Sounds easy, but you probably need professional help, and you most likely won't be able to do on your own. This is the main stumbling block for most people, as we feel ashamed about this addiction. And rightfully so. Whether you're religious or not, the story of The Fall holds valuable knowledge to us. What was the first thing Adam did when he did something bad? He hid. He tried to cover his shame, and tried to hide from God. I think this is a core behaviour for us, humans. If we do something bad, we want to hide it. But just like in the case of Adam, as hiding didn't do him any good, we must resist the temptation to hide like a wounded animal. That means enlisting the aid of someone you know and trust. In real life. Not just on the internet. It's cruical. Trust me.

    What you can expect in 10 months of abstinence? Wet dreams. Ups and downs. Freedom.
    Wet dreams are my major complaint about the whole nofap thing. Twice in every month, sometimes more. I don't like them. Hopefully they will end soon.
    Ups and downs are expected in your mood as well. It gives a great sense of rightful pride when you can say that you no longer watch porn and masturbate. You'll look like a superhero. Unfortunately it's a less like Batman and a more like Hancock, especially in the beginning, but it will get better.
    But sometimes, when you are tired, or frustrated, or annoyed, the temptation will arise to alleviate it the old way. You shouldn't expect urges to go away completely, I still have them, but they are easily resistable.
    And you will have lots of freedom, and not just because the extra time you suddenly have on your hands. But you will be free to not do something that you did for a long time, and that feeling my friends, will totally worth it.

    Some of you may have read my journals, but if you didn't, I tell you that it might be a good idea, to browse it. In my first one I went for 95 days, in my second one, I don't know, but it still lasts. Anyway, you will notice that I have had a girlfriend since Dec 9 of 2014 and as we are both devout Christians, we decided not to have sex until we get married. Now, the relationship has flourished, and we got engaged a bit more than 2 months ago, and we will get married next year. :) 3 weeks and a few days remain only.
    I'm really excited and a bit nervous as well, as a long time has passed since I did anything sexually explicit, so I don't know what to expect. Will the urges come back? Will I have premature ejaculation? Or the contrary? Or will everything be normal? I really hope so. I did everything within my power (and enlisted the power of Jesus as well) to get rid of PMO, and purify me as much as I can for my future wife. Now, the time has come to reap the rewards. Say goodbye to celibacy and say hello to married life. :)

    Stay strong brothers and sisters, friends and foes. It's really worth it.
     
  2. peregrinnus

    peregrinnus Fapstronaut

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    Earthdragon!! Good to see you back here again. So happy for your upcoming marriage! Glad that everything worked out between you and your girl :) Have a blessed future ahead, the both of you :)
     
    Chappo030891 and EarthDragon like this.
  3. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Congrats for the marriage:)
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  4. black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

    I'll keep that in heart.
    Wishing you a blissful married life!
     
    adam1992 and EarthDragon like this.
  5. Woohoo, this is great! Have tons of fun with your lil lady :)
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  6. Mighty Wolf

    Mighty Wolf Guest

    Wish you a happy married life brother! Live your dreams.
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  7. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    Really encouraging post. Best wishes for your marriage, well done man!
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  8. Congrats, mate. It's funny. I was literally thinking about you yesterday, my brother. And here you show up making a post. I was wishing you hadn't left.

    Also, I totally get what you mean about the wet dreams. I haven't had one in over 3 years. I wrote a post about it all. You can check out the thread which is linked in my signature if you're interested. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful marriage. All the best.
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  9. Selfdiscovery

    Selfdiscovery Fapstronaut

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    @EarthDragon :
    That's really nice to read it.I'm also on the same lumsum path-300+ free from all FPMO.and planing to marry.
    Good luck to both of you.its worth doing nofap!
    Your concerns are quite obvious as mine.but please don't read much stuff about on internet for-pe,nocturnal emission,Ed ,wet dreams etc as info is really not authentic and kind of misleading and confusing.try to follow this path,clean and calm yourself further.things will settle down further more as most of it has already settled.
    God bless you friend!
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  10. Don Gately

    Don Gately Fapstronaut

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    Great story, really encouraging!

    Don't expect the wet dreams to go away until you're sexually active though. It's straightforward biology.
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  11. FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    Awesome story man! Congrats and hope you and you're partner have a great life together! I plan on waiting until marriage to have sex so it's nice too see another story like this!
     
    EarthDragon and iborntobefree like this.
  12. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the comments guys, sometimes this community can be really encouraging. :)

    @Don Gately , yeah, I suspect as much. Maybe it's just coincidental, but I was able to wake myself up from a sexual dream just before the "wetness" started and managed to avoid it. So maybe you get some control over your sleep, but I wouldn't bet on it.
    @Selfdiscovery ,It didn't occur to me to "research" the topic online. I'm somewhat skeptic about stuff on the internet, because nofap and everything related to it is totally "uncool" in the eyes of the outside world. I don't think I'd get an honest answer.
    @AlltheRageBackHome , it's nice to hear that I haven't been forgotten completely. I found that after a while, lingering on nofap too much is not really benefical. Hundreds of relapse stories can really get under your skin, and the devil is always whispering that "one relapse is okay" and when you see so many of them, you start to think "maybe....". Now that's where I don't want to go.
    @FreedomIsHere , That's amazing man. Though you didn't ask for it, let me give you an advice. I don't know if you have a girlfriend or not, but when you have one, make determining whether you want to get married or not top priority. Don't waste time. Be together as much as you can, do stuff together as much as you can, and start talking about marriage, family plans, life goals from the very beginning. Of course this is easier if you're already an adult, so your age is definitely a factor.
     
  13. Slylen

    Slylen Fapstronaut

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    Well @EarthDragon we have never spoken before but i am happy to hear such encouraging results! You reminded me that Nofap is about more than just ridding yourself of your base urge. Its also about facing the issue that brought you to it in the first place. We all have our reasons for doing what we did but facing them is the only way to truly move on. Best of luck with your new life friend!

    -Stay Strong,

    -Slylen

    The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.

    Walt Disney
     
  14. FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    Aha I'm still pretty young, just recently turned 19. I've never had a girlfriend before, but thanks for the advice it will help me a lot in the future, I appreciate it.
     
  15. Saber_tooth7

    Saber_tooth7 Fapstronaut

    @EarthDragon Congratulations man! You are entering a beautiful phase in your life. And with a mindset so clean, will only make things easier and happier for you in the future. Just vow to never visit those old graves you buried, and you'll see true happiness in your life come out.
    Best of luck to the both of you!!
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  16. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Now, I'm getting married in like 2,5 hours!!! I'm really really excited! Tomorrow we'll leave for our honeymoon. 11 months ago she said that I have to give up PMO, which I already wanted. Almost a year later, I can honestly say, it really worth it. I feel so good! Keep up the fight!
     
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  17. noper32

    noper32 Fapstronaut

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    I can't give you enough congratulations EarthDragon--you are quite literally living the fondest dream of half the people on this site right now. Your marriage will be on a true foundation after your 10 months of successful work--what a way to crown all your efforts.

    I don't really know your situation and may not be the best person to offer this advice, but the only thing I can think of that might protect your marriage even more is promising now to always be open and honest to your wife about any potential relapses. Not telling her is worse than any relapse.

    Again, my biggest congratulations on your joyous day.
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  18. Saoirse

    Saoirse Guest

    Congratulations!
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  19. valky

    valky Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing and congratulation for the marriage!
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  20. A.ARN

    A.ARN Fapstronaut

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    Congrats @EarthDragon wish you the best :) , hope to hear from you what was the situation in your first sex after this long time of abstaining, because I am really curious about that in my case.
     
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