Everything you need to know about women attraction - 5 years experience with life hacks

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by sephhh, Mar 16, 2018.

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  1. Shiva44poison

    Shiva44poison Fapstronaut

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    I want to know that ....What is addiction ?? And what is normal ?? And what is best ?? In married life. If I don't watch porn or masturbate. Only orgasm with partner.. Please give me the best answer
     
  2. sephhh

    sephhh Fapstronaut

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    The following is meant to push you, not to hinder you or make you upset.

    It is not others; others do not think for you. You think for you. No enemy outside can effect you unless you let them. "If there is no enemy within, then the enemy outside can do us no harm."

    Working on yourself can only be "fruitless" when you are doing it wrong. How can anyone say, "working on myself didn't do anything," and then disregarding it completely. You cannot progress therefore you are stuck. Going to the gym is only debilitating when you judge yourself based off a comparative paradigm that you will never win. There will always be someone more fit than you, someone better looking, smarter, faster.. the list goes on. You have to start somewhere. You are your own comparative competition. Today you will be be better than yesterday. No matter what anyone says or does, you are the only one judging yourself. The only one. YOU. It doesn't matter what other people think. If someone does make you feel judged or sends negativity to you, simply disregard, do not converse with them and separate yourself. Do not try to prove to family or friends, do not try to prove to strangers, just do what you think you should do and what you believe to be the best you. because you deserve the best version of yourself and so does everyone that you care about.

    I cannot help you any further if you choose debilitating thoughts and ideas. Why not just choose empowering thoughts? Being an atheist is fine but if it prevents you from progressing mentally then whats the point? A french mathematician in the 1700s came to the conclusion that the odds of being a Christian are better odds than being an atheist. He suggested that an atheist is in a lose-lose situation; you lose if you are right and you lose if you are wrong. Especially if your belief is preventing you from progression its a lose x3!

    I want you to ask yourself, what part of myself do I feed with my thoughts, ideas and actions?

    The classic story of the two wolves:

    An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

    “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

    ”It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

    He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

    The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

    The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

    "A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's full! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "This is you," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."

    I invite you back here when your cup is empty.

    I submit on here empowering ideas, empowering youtube videos and empowering stories. This is empowerment. I do not invite you to place your debilitating perceptionally incorrect thoughts. Absolutism is wrong, always will be. You will always be wrong. Life will tell you you are wrong. You cannot progress when you think you know all; your cup is full and cannot be filled any more. Empty your cup, empty your mind and look at things differently as a child.

    In a prior post to you I gave you a youtube video based on sacred sexuality. I have to ask you, what do you want? Why do you want to do nofap? What do you want to gain? The best method is relative to these answers.

    The benefit of only having sex with your wife and withdrawing from PMO and MO is that you hardwire your mind to her. You will grow an attachment deeper, more spiritual, more into your subconscious and it'll be felt by her in return. Sex will feel more intense, more in the now and pleasant than before. Having sex with one partner I believe is in no way a bad thing. But I personally believe that our sexual energy can be directed, nurtured and magnified toward any success we desire; limiting sexual wasting and over indulgence. It will build a stronger connection with her that is magnificent or a connection to anything you want.

    Listen, there are a few steps here that some people will need to do because of how addicting pornography can be. Just remove porn.. porn has to go. Masturbation is frowned upon, but no where near the destructive force of pornography. It has helped me in the past to quit pornography but maintain masturbation; then a month or two if you want to reset remove masturbation. It's difficult to go from full blown PMO addiction to cold turkey. It shocks the body and why people have such long withdrawals and flatlines. It is the best method to reset, but the hardest in my opinion.

    I cannot come on here and keep repeating myself over and over again:
    Sperm retention
    fasting (intermittent fasting works best for me 16/8)
    forcibly positive thoughts from the moment you wake up till the moment you go to sleep (which will get better/easier with time and practicing nofap and fasting)
    good diets
    ANYTHING POSITIVE
    cut out negativity.. what is negativity? worldly things are designed to program you!!! (video games, movies, some music, wasting time, not working, being self involved..)

    Tell me your daily schedule. Write it down. Let me see what you do on a daily basis and how you spend your time and I will tell you why you are failing. Re-evaluate yourself, re-think constantly, look at the drawing board..

    Memorization of positive mantras are HUGE.. I memorized this because it is TRUTH and repeating daily, through struggles and ups.. to motivate myself and others:

    "If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,
    to work day and night for it, to give up your time, your peace
    and sleep for it… if all that you dream and scheme is about it,
    …and life seems useless and worthless without it… if you gladly
    sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it and lose all your terrror
    of the opposition for it…if you simply go after that thing that you
    want with all your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith hope and confidence and stern pertinacity…
    if neither cold, poverty, famine, nor gout, sickness nor pain, of body and brain, can keep you away from the thing that you want…
    if dogged and grim you beseech and beset it, with the help of God, YOU WILL GET IT!" – Les Brown
     
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  3. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Trust the process you have only did it for 100 days if you keep focusing on external things to gauge your success than you will relapse and if you were just doing NoFap to get women’s attention than it’s gonna be a bumpy ride NoFap is more about knowledge of self and trying to improve yourself not for others but for yourself
     
  4. I'll leave responding to @sephhh 's post for a time when I am a better man, although I'll say this - the title of your thread is about women's attraction. If it's not happening, then then it's not happening. People can give me all sorts of koans about being everything I need to be, or working on myself, but regardless of anything else, in the interests maintaining full details, I am NOT reaping results in this field. Do I think it's great that almost every man who goes through the process sees success in this area? It's great. It's wonderful. Just understand that, for me, this is as painful as hearing stories of other peoples sexual escapades. "So, go out there and talk to them?" No. Not because I'm afraid of failure (or success) or rejection, but the fact that I shouldn't be talking to them - they should be attracted to me, at least by the claims of many men here. NoFap doesn't influence how attractive to you are to women - I'm living breathing proof of that.

    A fair call, but this thread specifically speaks to the women being attracted to men who go without wanking. It's not the first, it won't be the last. I understand that @sephhh wants nothing but every good thing for us, but I'm at a point where I'm needing to vent about this. Female attraction and self-esteem are two weak areas in my life, and I raised concerns about the latter when I was starting out. After 5 months of struggle, and 100 days without blowing a load, I'm 1) no more attractive to women than before, and 2) no more confident. I will concede that the struggle (for self-improvement) is still ongoing, but the fact is, people who 'improve' on NoFap didn't have a lot wrong with them to begin with. On NoFap I may as well be back in high school, where I didn't masturbate either. You know what else I did? avoided getting my head flushed down the toilet.

    I get that it's about improving myself, but external signs would be nice. It's like faith - if God wanted me to believe in them, He'd give me an undeniable sign (not a sunrise or a flower or my life). If God exists for you, that's great that you have something in your life that gives you that power, but I lack the evidence to be convinced, or even take a leap of faith. Honestly, I have more faith that I'd sleep with a European supermodel, as close to zero as that is.

    Am I angry yes? Is my anger misplaced? I'm not angry with @sephhh, or anyone here, for their success and growth. I just need people to understand that, rather than being a lie, female attraction (which this thread was founded on) is NOT happening for me on NoFap, and confidence isn't either.
     
  5. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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  6. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    I believe you. When I was 17, I was the introvert in a group of 5-6 people. The girls took interest in me, although my friends weren't as quiet as me. I never masturbated in my life til I turned 18 :(.

    Also, when I was on my first days of college, three girls came to me and introduced themselves to me on the hall way.
     
  7. That's great. It's nice to see that I really am an aberration when it comes to all of this. It doesn't do me any good (quite the contrary, in fact), but it lets me know that I'm an example of what not to let your kids to grow up to be.

    Again, that's awesome. As someone who went through all of university without masturbating (I started a few weeks after graduating, and a few days after a break-up), my results were very different. Confidence and interest in the study material just made me an easy person to get class notes from, and any time I tried to show interest or start a conversation with women, they'd run the other way. On my residence I was known as 'Creepy Questionite', and, the women there were not interested in guys who studied (given that we don't have 'party colleges' in Australia).

    Lack of masturbation clearly worked for you - good for you. (not intended to be as bitter as it's coming out, honest)
     
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  8. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

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    Want to save this for later. Seems legit
     
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  9. It's one of my saved pages, and I can't deny @sephhh's dutiful documentation over the last five years and the success he's experienced.
     
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  10. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    No worries, man. Maybe nothing good would come from dating a girl during college. Try to learn about attracting people. There are many books about it.
     
  11. sephhh

    sephhh Fapstronaut

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    TO UPDATE YOU ON MY CIRCUMSTANCE:

    So, women appear to be coming out of the woodwork at this point. This virgin slept over last night and we fooled around. But I stopped myself from getting too involved with women and I have way more control than ever; the last time i PMOd was 170 days ago and I masturbated 26 days ago (nearly 4 weeks). Anyways, for those who struggle with porn induced erectile dysfunction if you put in the time without porn it will go away.. 170 days I have absolutely no problem at all which PIED which has been a problem intermittently in the past.

    I have been involved with blockchain technology and partnered with a developer, my ownership is 51%. With this said, I come across people almost on a daily basis of someone that can help me in some way. This company is coming together because I have attracted these people to me. Let me give you a breakdown of what has happened to me:

    I have no experience with development, but I was deeply involved in communities of blockchain technology. I attracted a developer and a separate guy putting together the methods and features of the platform writing the whitepaper (business plan kinda). I have a friend at microsoft that travels to blockchain events and is building the website. I went for a walk just two days ago and someone who specializes in blockchain marketing was walking by with her baby and stopped to speak to me. I went to a religious event for positive influence and I approached no one. A guy came up to me to speak to someone next to me with his girlfriend behind him. Based off of the way that we were standing, I was practically forced to introduce myself (otherwise it would have been extremely awkward) we spoke of what we did for work and I told him my interest in blockchain. His girlfriend chimed in and advised me that she works for a blockchain investment firm. On a separate occasion, I decided last minute, to visit my brother randomly and he had spent all weekend with a CEO of a development company that wants to invest in me and my production. These things are undoubtedly part of attraction which I am actively working on.

    While I have moved on from communicating about the attraction of women with this thread; which is happening anyways. I am attracting that which I ask for. I asked the universe for it.. There are laws on our side that once we learn them and apply them, they are our laws to use for our power. "Law, not confusion, is the dominating principle in the universe."

    In regards to the attraction from women; I feel more powerful as a person. I am a thought evolved being. As a result of thought I have brought about many things that I desire. I will change the world with what I am doing. I get intuitive feelings about certain things. I find that I can read people better, I can communicate better simply because I can feel how to communicate to a person because of some sort of connection that exists and understand them without words being exchanged. There is an underlying aspect of all that I discuss and talk about. It's a plane of energy that cannot be seen or understood. Awake yourself and master the disciplines of life and use the laws for your own gain. "Man has but to right himself to find that the universe is right; and during the process of putting himself right he will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him."

    If you work it, you will attain anything you want in this world. You do not attract that which you want, but that which you are. Garden your mind, pick the weeds and plant the seeds that will bring forth usefulness. CLean it, manage it, remember your goals from the moment you wake up. Practice self-discipline. You have to do it. You have to for yourself. You have to because what else is there? There is no want, there is no try, there is no need.. There are only have tos to success. If you want women attraction, here is your answer. If you want money, here is your answer. Anything within the realm of this existence, if you want it, here is your answer. Harmony with the universe is the answer to you, reader. If we are made in the image of our creator than we are gods in heart and we can form, change and attract that which we harbor within us. Plant good seeds and allow it to take root and grow by daily work and daily water.. Work on it. As you do, you will discover that this is simple and you will ponder why you had struggled with it before. It will get easier and will come without second thought. But just like getting started with anything momentum is easier than the initial start.

    I appreciate it brother. I'm glad I didn't scare you away :p
    I hope to be a good teacher.

    You will succeed if you want it bad enough.
     
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  12. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    Maybe you had no luck with the college girls cuz u got precums when u fantasized during college years.

    I precummed twice today. I'll make sure to follow the 5 second rule.

    I guess I precummed cuz I fantasized. I fantasized cuz I had nothing to do. I was tired too and laid on my bed. I gotta make myself occupied by something
     
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  13. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    This women attraction is very confusing sometimes. I lost almost all of that on my 100+ days. I felt like utter crap and I became invisible again to them. Then I had a reset two weeks ago and the attraction came back, stronger. So I don´t know what to make about all this. I'm not saying that fapping every now and then helps but it seems pretty random to me, it's bizarre. One day every single one of them find me irresistible and the next I'm invisible. My advice is not to expect anything, ever. If you do, they notice that you are craving for their attention, and it turns the away.
     
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  14. Scare away? No, that function is served by talking to women. Or facing heights. Or trying anything. A guy on the internet documenting his progress doesn't scare - it just annoys me that I don't have progress.

    Will it though? I'm pretty clear in what I want, and, yes, NoFap is not a cure-all. At this point it's possibly worse.

    That might be it, but would pre-cum really have that level of a negative impact on attraction? As for not fantasizing, I could theoretically approach things from a perspective of ignoring women, but that would require me to ignore them as people - probably not a healthy approach.

    Okay then, why should I give up whacking off to porn then? If I shouldn't expect female attraction (or confidence), why would I do this?

    Not expecting anything, ever, means I don't bother trying for anything, ever. Why would I do something without expecting something from it? I'm currently having a continued argument with my Personal Trainer about this, and I'm having to trust her, trust that she's seeing changes in my physicality, and that it will take years. I can accept all of those things, although the trust is hard and I'm still convinced she's not 'seeing' the changes so much as saying she sees them.

    I don't care about having PMO as an addiction/habit/hobby - I've undertaken it for two pretty specific reasons, and they're not appearing.

    Really, please think about that - that last sentence really beggars belief, @ShotDunyun .
     
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  15. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I wasn't talking to you.

    Anyhow. This female attraction thing is dangerous as well. Sometimes it makes you cocky. And it also makes you take it for granted. I just PMO'ed twice today because why not? The female attraction is there anyway, right?. It happened to me last year, I was feeling "fine" and little by little I fell into the rabbit hole again. I'll let you guys know what happens, this last week female attraction was pretty high, I'm going to let you know if I see any differences this following week. Don't fap though, the whole point of being here is to stop that shit, don't be like uncle Shot.
     
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  16. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    Maybe we get aroused and forget to apply the five sec rule
     
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  17. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Agreed. This is such a basic concept yet I fail to apply it.
     
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  18. Okay, this may sound like me being a jerk, but I'm genuinely interested - if the women are attracted to you, why didn't you take advantage of it? Was there something preventing you from going through with actually doing something with the attraction? Heck, did they have the wrong hair colour? You've been here a while, you've had your successes - do you want the female attraction? Maybe I'm seeing this from my own perspective, but if a woman is attracted to you (and assuming you have some interest with her), why not do something about it?

    Perhaps I'm just having to re-learn the world.
     
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  19. rebeccahickshq

    rebeccahickshq New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing your details and experience. I think it very good for me
     
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  20. sephhh

    sephhh Fapstronaut

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    So this girl thing really magnified a few days back.

    Let me explain; it was just back to back girl attention. In one day I had 4 girls that wanted to see me stop by my place to see me. One girl sent me this message word for word:

    "I'll be honest! I am so sad to see you go, but i know great things are coming your way! I would have loved to just stay in that brief moment with you for so much longer... looking into your eyes is honestly my favorite because you have so much there to offer and dang I mean you have amazing eyes! just knowing that you leave so early in the morning... I had let you go. (cry emoji) I hope you know you are always wanted! Especially here (tongue smiley emoji)"

    A girl who lives a few doors down came over and we kissed for awhile and she kept feeling up on my groin with her leg.

    Another girl came by because "traffic was bad" literally poked at my dick saying, "you look a little hard." as she grinned.

    I am keeping to myself and keeping my cool. I'm not telling anyone what I'm doing cause it's 100% me; and I love it more than anything.

    So as I go further into this nofap journey and living it again with the women attraction I am fully believing that it's 100% my mentality. Nofap is energy and vitality but it'd be worthless if I wasn't in the right mindset. This being so, you literally just need to really feel self love. Not just think it, but feel it to your bones and let it radiate out of you in all circumstances. I've also noticed more "magnetism." A woman only wants to be with a man that she feels connective with; which makes sense with how nofap works. But wouldn't that suggest mindfulness is maybe more important than nofap? I am starting to believe that the mind is more powerful than anything else and nofap is simply a catalyst for mental growth; both it's capacity and various abilities, it simply works more efficient both with fasting and nofap. I would assume that the faster you fix your mind the faster the recovery would be which would explain a lot of differentiating experiences. Just a few notes to take into consideration.

    I am not doing it for the women. I am doing it for myself because I deserve the best version of myself.

    It goes further, so many more things to consider. Too many variables involved suggest it cannot be nofap alone. Good input to have that we always need to keep ourselves on a swivel.

    Everyone has their reasons like mine now not taking advantage of some of the situations I have been given because I won't settle and I know exactly what I want. You shouldn't go for just any girl that bats her eyes; there are some dumpster fires out there. I know dumpster fires might feel good in the winter time when it's cold outside but let me tell you it's dangerous when you invest your time and energy to the wrong person that is capable of so much destruction. The right woman is the key element here. A woman should be someone you are connective with and someone who can magnify your desires and talents.

    I am grateful, more than ever, to be able to pass my wisdom onto you. May you learn and apply it for your own personal growth. Thank you.
     
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