Ever Think about Someone Other than SO?

You’re right. And before meeting this other guy, I could NEVER imagine myself or anyone cheating. Crazy, but...well, yeah

 

Day 71

• Fantasizing & thinking about last night.
• No urges though

Gotta move on and forward

 

Radical advice. Thank you so much; I’ll take it.

 

Day 76 - mid day happenings

• That guy happened to enter same lab building as me & tapped me on the shoulder saying hi
  • Yeah I know, pretty casual but I was very happy to see him & have him acknowledge me
  • Cue overthinking
  • It was nice; that is all
• Stuck at school for over 12 hours today but at least I know I won’t be crazy fantasazing or doing anything here
• Tired of being productive with schoolwork so I’ll take a mental break now with some music

 

Day 78 - comfortable talking to guys​

• At that point in the semester where I can talk to any of the guys in my small class (15 people total)
  • COMFORTABLE - like friend comfortable, but I do I guess enjoy talking to 2 especially.
  • I’m glad I have VERY good confidence talking to any of them. My skill in the sport itself ain’t that good, but that’s fine.
  • I think about that same guy sometimes, but I do try to brush the thoughts (nonsexual) away & remind myself of all the good things I have going w my bf
  • It’s crazy how crazy we get when we’re shown attention
• Talked to my bf yesterday about a lot of things: our urges, my goals, where I’m at with this reboot.
  • It’s really helped our relationship & made us closer & me more attracted to him; YAY
• Lowww to none urges as of late. Few fantasy action, very very little.

 

Day 84 - Tides Turning

• Attraction for other guy has REALLY gone down (how bittersweet? Haha)
  • He shows less interest so that’s news that really this isn’t anything promising
  • Way he dresses doesn’t attract me (in regular/most situations we’re in the water so seeing him fully clothed is like eh)
  • He really is a youngin’ compared to me & has so much to learn & realistically I dontgotta think we’d be able to talk on the same level/page/understanding.
• Hopefully just maybce can be friends now. I still like each person in my class as a person

 

Day 89 - Almost for Everything

• hey guys, been doing okay
• lot of studying/work for test, project/presentation this week & I am stoked to get all that over with
• last weekend with boyfriend was good but I didn't have any urges
  • I mean, yeah it's a good things the urges aren't there to control me
  • but I kind of wanted to be intimate even though I wasn't really into it
  • made the time a little robotic
  • no PMO tho, nothing of the sort
• fantasizing has gone downnnn, moreso because I told my friend I was having trouble not thinking about other guy
  • in-person accountability is insanely effective

Anyway, I can't believe I'm right there.

 

Day 100

• Everything is good; I feel great!
• I stopped thinking about the guy...& then he asked me to hang out!!! I ended up not being to hang out so idk if that was a sign from God
• I actually spoke w my bf about this

Honestly just seeing how it will go now

Urges? Nahhhh
How is intimacy w my partner?
We are good very much with communicating & all that. Physically? It’s okay right now. My drive has gone down & wondering if it picks up

 

Day 106

Some social media interaction with other personal. Eventually the truth will come out. Why am I so hesitant to say I’m in a relationship? Is it attention I enjoy?
Pfft

 

Day 110 - TURNS OUT HE’S a FBOI
A fuckboy, great. That’s much less attractive & I’m glad I’m not all sucked in.

 

Day 112
Urges are none

But fudge, this guy is persistent and it doesn’t help that he’s so attractive

But like all if you have reminded me here
- can he be as good as my SO? Answer is no

- is it worth to basically cheat?
Answer is heck no. That’d be temporary bliss but heartache & guilt coupled w fact that fboy doesnt care about me, just himself and his wants

I’m just a friend if that, no more

 

Hi Quinn!!! It’s so good to hear from you & this perspective is so enlightening.

Right now, I just feel really dumb because of all the energy and thought I’ve put into this guy. We’ve hung out twice & it was chill. He didn’t make any moves physically, but sometimes he’ll be like, let me sleep over or other stuff.

You’re right that he doesn’t care about my bf & he’s banking on me compromising my relationship, aw mannnn.

Maybe my weakness right now is just really wanting a friend and he’s the most available thing. But as you said, he might not be looking for a friend (someone you can talk to/rely on), he’s just looking for friend w benefits.

Thanks for the real talk, seriously! <3