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Escort Problem

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by musicalsomething89, Jan 20, 2019.

  1. musicalsomething89

    musicalsomething89 Fapstronaut

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    I've had an addiction to escorts for about the past 3 and a half years. It's killing me. I last visited someone 3 days ago, but today I'm just feeling so terrible, that I need to express it in some way. I've been drinking too much as well as a result.

    Anyone else struggling with this? Any tips to overcome the problem?
     
    chilibeanpaste likes this.
  2. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    To overcome the problem you first have to understand what’s causing the problem... why are you visiting escorts?

    Are you lonely? Depressed? What is it that’s making you go to these women. Once you figure that out, then you can start fixing the problem.
     
    AncestralWarrior likes this.
  3. @JakeWoods is correct. Addictions happen for a reason, and then the addictions create extra problems.

    I strongly suggest therapy. Whether it's mediation, yoga, clinical psychology, hypnotherapy, counselling, something else, or (as I did) a mix, you can't do this without help.

    I recommend you start a 90-day hard reboot. Post here often for support and help. And start therapy.
     
    Feed the Mind and Juannr like this.
  4. musicalsomething89

    musicalsomething89 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, true. I'm aware of the reasons, but I think I haven't fully accepted them. I was home schooled growing up, and felt awkwardness and around women, etc. I was also raised very Christian and lost my virginity to an escort, sad to admit. So I think I've always been raised with the belief that intimacy is something off limits for me; especially sexual intimacy with women. So what I'm doing is taking that problem into my own hands and paying for it. And it's become an addiction.

    I'm interested to hear from anyone else also struggling with escorts? I guess misery loves company; PMO is also an issue for me, but it feels pretty small in comparison to what I'm trying to overcome here.

    I finally had a pretty great meditation session recently, so I'm going to continue that starting today. I wish I could afford therapy. I'm interested in hypnotherapy, albeit cautiously. That's my general attitude towards alternative med/therapy, etc. I'm cautiously interested, I want it to work, but I also want to maintain as objective a view as I can. Anyway.

    I know this isn't a log forum, so maybe I'll start one of those properly, but just felt like saying that I made a proper budget today, and it was huge to see, not the negative side (the amount of money that goes into addiction), but the positive: the amount of money I could save by tackling this problem. Which ties into something I was thinking about last night before bed; as cliche as it is, positive thinking is huge. I tend to never think positively, and that is something I want to change.
     
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  5. Excellent progress. The money that you save from going to escorts can go to therapy… It'll save you tons in the long run.
     
    RobbyGo36 and Deleted Account like this.
  6. musicalsomething89

    musicalsomething89 Fapstronaut

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    Good point. :emoji_thumbsup:Thanks for the encouragement.
     
    chilibeanpaste and Mordobarn like this.
  7. More Jing

    More Jing Fapstronaut

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    Irony alert.........have a wank and the feeling of wanting an escort will go away a few seconds later.......hows that for a catch 22.......not taking the mick by the way life a
     
    Reborn66 likes this.
  8. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I have like you a problem with escorts, until now i've been able not to spend too much money, but not viewing porn ls bringng me more and more towards escorts.
     
    Raphael Pereira likes this.
  9. I don't judge you I spent a lot of time and money going to strip clubs when I was younger . I guess the breaking point came when I decided I wanted to be with someone who liked me for me not my cash plus the fact I am realy cheap so the saving money part was also a motivater
     
  10. rowans

    rowans Fapstronaut

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    Dont prefer escorts because it will give STD..Thats horrible
     
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  11. Ash.k

    Ash.k Fapstronaut

    Hey there, yeah i can relate to this alot, i have been seeing escorts in between PMO and def feel like the two things for me are related, no connection just very cold interactions that may as well have been on a screen, i do wonder tho after reboot if those feelings also go away or if now they will always be interlinked. I hope you can find some kindness and love for yourself through this, sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of, wanting to he close to someone is a beautiful thing, it is so complex when also dealing with this crippling addiction to porn, keep going much love
     
    chilibeanpaste likes this.
  12. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I have a problem with escorts and strippers and porn. I managed to avoid escorts and strippers for a few months, but the thoughts keep coming back when I feel lonely.
     
  13. Raphael Pereira

    Raphael Pereira Fapstronaut

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    Man, i feel a big urge to see escorts when i reach 30-45 days.
    It's almost impossible to bypass it, furthermore i live in Rio de Janeiro, one of the core cities for escort services and adult entertainment
     
    chilibeanpaste likes this.
  14. chilibeanpaste

    chilibeanpaste Fapstronaut

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    I was at a bar last night, on a date. I actually told the date that I am stuggling with some emotional baggage and am not fit to be a boyfriend, be intimate, ect but I enjoy her company as a friend. It's an awkward situation because we are attracted to each other and had sex a few times before. It's also awkward that I wont tell her exactly what I'm struggling with (PMO) --mainly because it's fucking embarrassing! Anyways on topic with the Escort Problem: The bar we were at was in a nieghborhood where I frequently have picked up hookers. While I was playing pool with my date, 2 hookers walked into the bar. At least they dressed like hookers and looked very-much-out of their element. They were also there for such a brief time, tucked away in a corner. I am so fucked up in my head that it crossed my mind to go talk to them when my date wasn't looking. Or at least go have a closer look at the hooker's cleavage busting out of her tiny skirt. I am out of control. I actually walked a few blocks out-of my- way to see if I could spot them walking around outside. Yeah, I'm sick in the head. I turned down sex with a real girl I'm actually attracted to, and then minutes later I'm seeking out sex to pay for. It's ridiculous. I am hoping over time these urges go away.
     
    Reborn66 likes this.
  15. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Lol smh
     
  16. Stick to your hard reboot, and they will go away. Given the extent of your addiction, it's likely to take longer than 90 days. Keep going until you are fully back in control; you will be glad that you did.
     
  17. chilibeanpaste

    chilibeanpaste Fapstronaut

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    2 years of fucking up, not dating anyone and hating myself. I'm back! Yes I need to go more than 90 days. One and a half month was the best ive done. I couldnt have done it without support from nofap. Hope to do 90 without p and absolutely no girls of the night.
     
    again and Mordobarn like this.
  18. Sometimes, 90 days seems like too much.

    Try one day: Today.
    Tomorrow, repeat.
    Etc.

    In other words, one day at a time. Keep your eye on the goal: At the end of this day, you'll still be clean. Do this each day.

    Might I suggest therapy to help you with whatever is behind your impulses?

    Best of luck!
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2022
  19. chilibeanpaste

    chilibeanpaste Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. yes. Just get through the day. Thanks for reminding me. Yeah I'm sorting out my health insurance. Had I had a therapist, last time, I might have gone longer.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.

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