Escort guilt and anxiety

Hey, first time here and i would like to share a story to see If you think nofap is the way to go or not.
I am 22 years Old and have always been very sexual as a person, started watching porn around 11/12 and gradually escalated from normal sex to anal to groupstuff and then to the end line (at around 18/19), transwoman porn. I was Hooked badly and it was the only porn i was interested in after finding it. I eventuelly went to te extreme of meeting an escort which was When i was 20. That year i met 3 different ts escorts and Had a good time. No regret or character crisis. Then 2 yesrs later after a night out i relapsed and Saw a ts hooker again, this time leaving with a feeling of emptyness, depression and loss of self that has not subsided during these 4 weeks that has passed since.
I have never Had it hard to have sex with women, can always maintain an erection and i always like it but after i have sex with a girl 1-5 Times’ i always start to crave transwoman porn/sex. So after the last encounter with a ts i quit porn completely and have been in a flatline ever since. Should i just change My porn type to normal ”straight” porn or carry this nofap further? I have completely lost My confidence and myself to an externt since 4 weeks ago When i made the misstake of relapsing.

 

Yeah but i never stayed Home to wank, just before bed and maybe in the morning, so the only problem with PMO that i have is that i let it go so far to a place Where i dont know If i Can ever mentally recover from.

 

Thanks, i dont think anything is causing the need other than a sexual Fetish i wanted to live out and for some reason this last time got me feeling this way...

 

Yeah i would love to but since this happened i cant enjoy those type of things, was Working out 4-6 Times a week before this. Now all i think is How much more i would have enjoyed any situation If i didnt have this recent misstake hanging over me. I dont feel present Because of it, always in My thougts...

 

Thanks for the encouragement, hopefully it Will get better soon, i cant deem to get over it and i feel like i Owe it to My parents and family to tell them what i have Done If i dont wanna live a lie for the rest of My life. But i know the dissapointment and hurt They would feel would make me feel 100x worse.