Escaping the Matrix

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by LetMeWrite, May 16, 2018.

  1. LetMeWrite

    LetMeWrite Fapstronaut

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    This is a personal journal chronicling my journey out of the Matrix into the real world.

    What do I mean by the Matrix?

    I mean the prison of beliefs and habits my mind has created.
    The belief that I don't deserve to have a healthy loving relationship with a women.
    The belief that my sexuality is unhealthy.
    The belief that by watching porn I'm protecting women from my toxic sexuality.
    The pattern of withholding how I feel about everything.
    The belief that I'm unlucky, that life is unfair and that nothing I do ever works.
    The pattern of PMO when I'm lonely.
    The pattern of PMO when I'm apathetic.
    The pattern of PMO when I'm sad.
    The matrix of my mind will no longer prevent me from living my full life.

    Here goes nothing.

    I'm taking this step by step. I know that being overly optimistic leads to burn out. Thanks for walking the path with me. Drive slow. The hardest things are the most fulfilling.

    These are the skills that I want to develop:
    Writing (Finishing my first book by 2019) (500 words/day)
    Posting at least once a week to my blog (2000 words/wk)
    Posting at least once a week to this journal.
    Meditation (minimum 30 mins day)
    Yoga (1 hour/day)
    Learn a new language (20-30mins/day)
    Harmonica (20 mins/day)

    Yesterday, I met an AP and we've committed to check-ins with the FASTT method once a day.

    For me I've always had my longest streaks without PMO when I was working on something that mattered to me. Recently, my problem has been a general feeling of apathy towards everything. What I've realized is I can't wait around for motivation to magically bubble up inside me. I have to work at something even if I don't feel inspired. I have to create my own inspiration, every day.

    Hold strong brothers :)
     
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  2. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Hey !

    As I can see, you need a Morpheus to show you the door :)

    It's impossible to escape from the Matrix without people to help you. You should try to gather positive people around you. I'm doing the same thing, and it takes time.

    I love the Matrix films, so when I saw the title of your post, I stopped going my screen down, I put it up and clicked on your post :)

    I hope that one day, we will be able to say to ourselves : "Welcome to the real world" :)

    Good luck !
     
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  3. LetMeWrite

    LetMeWrite Fapstronaut

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    Hey thanks for the message. You’re so right. I’ve always been my happiest when surrounded by people I love and care about.

    I think this community definitely fits in that category.

    Wishing you the best as well

    Where are you from?
     
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  4. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    I come from the same country as the Merovingian ;)
     
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  5. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    But to be more precise, I have French and Malagasy origins :)

    And you ?
     
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  6. LetMeWrite

    LetMeWrite Fapstronaut

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    Malagasy is a nice word. German/American. I grew up in Seattle, WA.
     
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  7. LetMeWrite

    LetMeWrite Fapstronaut

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    Entry #2 5/18/2018

    Yesterday was not my most productive day. I got sucked into a book that I've read a few times called The Stone of Tears. It's part of a the Sword of Truth Series. As a kid I used to read a lot of fantasy and these books were my favorite because the hero (Richard) is such a compelling figure. He's truly inspiring in the books, and not in an unbelievable way, but a very human way. He is constantly working to accept himself, help those around him, and seek truth.

    The issue is that I used the book to avoid doing all the other important activities I'd said I would do. I wasn't reading about Richard to inspire me. I was using him to distract me from my own life.

    There are so many ways that I distract myself. Reading is one of the less destructive ones, and I think an hour or two a day is healthy. But yesterday I read for at least 10 hours.

    All I can say is I'm thankful for my AP (ValarMaiar) for grabbing my attention this morning. Today I'm working on getting shit done. On being my own hero.
     
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  8. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Hey ! I've read the first three books of The Sword of Truth saga. Now I prefer to read non fiction books. On Blinkist, you can read freely a summarize of one non fiction book per day. It is very interesting. If you love to read, you might love it !

    Waouh ! 10 hours, that is indeed a lot... I hope you'll find your own truth. May Zediccus Zul Zorander, naked on his rock, guide you ! :emoji_bulb:

    My name is Marc, by the way :)
     
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