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Escalation - Public Masturbation

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. B1257

    B1257 Fapstronaut

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    Definitely cut out the porn
     
  2. Thanks Rebooter,
    I hadn't thought about having a friend to work out with. I will certainly try this out. I don't want to give up the positive effects of staying in shape. Luckily the sauna is just a luxury that can be phased out. Now I'll have to work on stopping getting turned on by fit coeds in the pool area and weight room.
     
  3. Fear - Escalation!
    What is it about the Addicts Brain that makes them aroused by fear?

    I am in the middle of a huge relapse. I went for a 2 month period of practically no acting out, but the last week masturbating 4-5 times a day. Gym sauna yesterday and found myself behaving much more unguarded than usual. Traditionally MO by edging, dealing with small amounts of cum and easy to hide over a period of time. This time had full blown intense orgasm. Much harder to hide large amount of 'evidence' - just then a guy came into the sauna. If he was paying attention he would see me covered. Luckily the water bucket needed to be filled and he grabbed it and brought to sink. Quickly rubbed all over body, covered myself in towel and sprinted to shower.

    A normal person's brain would tell them 'holy shit, close call, don't ever do that again'. An addict's brain says 'holy shit, close call, I have to do that again!'.

    Does a true reboot help with this kind of behavior too? Rewire my brain to not sabotage my life?
     
  4. 3nigma

    3nigma Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you have to get caught and face consequences. If you can't stop, then maybe someone has to stop you.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Rebooter45674

    Rebooter45674 Fapstronaut

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    Reboot helps but relapses can worsen the symptoms.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Exhibitionist - Posting Masturbation Videos Online
    A question to others dealing with Public Masturbation: What are/were your online behaviors as they pertained to exposing yourself?

    I went through a phase where I posted daily videos of myself masturbating and cumming to image boards. It was the ultimate thrill to have people repost one of my videos and of course got off on likes, comments, and requests for more. Happy to say it has been almost a year since I have posted anything, but the other day I saw someone uploaded one of my videos to a porn site and the dopamine hit acted as a 'multiplier' to my libido.

    Thankfully I am not tempted to video myself acting out in public. I can imagine that could spiral out of control quickly.
     
  7. The Ultimate Voyeur
    I was thinking about the relationship of Exhibitionism/Public Masturbation and Voyeurism. I have been fascinated by both for most of my life. When I am acting out at the gym, sun bathing or in my car, I am hyper aware of my surroundings. This leads to focus on the people and their patterns and behaviors down to the micro detail. I am also most likely to pay special attention to the most attractive people to increase my arousal, and start to fantasize about them and think 'what if they knew what I was doing'. Would it excite them? Have they ever exposed themselves? Masturbated in public? What are their secret sexual taboos? This leads to even more focus and arousal that leads to seeking out repeating the behavior. Endless cycle. I am fighting multiple addictions at once and it seems overwhelming at times.
     
  8. One at a time brother, if you are overwhelmed.
     
  9. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

    Your admin may want to have a chat with you one day. Better stay away from this thing, if you're still into it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    This is a very long thread and I haven't read all of it, but the bit I have read has compelled me to say a few things. Hopefully they have been said already.

    1. your behaviour is criminal. you are going to get caught sooner or later and it will fuck up your life severely

    2. do not go back to that gym or any other gym until you have got yourself sorted out

    3. you need help. therapy and possibly rehab. at the very least get to a sexaholics anonymous meeting asap
     
    Deleted Account and oneotwo like this.
  11. Luckily I have had success at stopping this behavior. If I was ever tempted, I would make sure my phone was not on wifi and use cell service to look at porn so as to not raise suspicion. Now I have a daughter (and wife) who could randomly pick up my phone at anytime, so I don't use it for anything inappropriate. Can't change the past though - somewhere out there is a handful of IT admins that knows all my kinks and perversions.
     
    ItsInTheBag likes this.
  12. SSA - Pro/Con
    I am curious what kind of experience this community has had with Sex Addicts Anonymous? I have heard both good and bad. Dealing with both porn and sex addiction currently and could use all the help I can get.

    I am not religious, so still wrapping my brain around 'higher power' has been a bit of an obstacle. I had a bad experience as an altar boy when I was 8. The priest used to routinely get naked and masturbate in front of me - so I am weary of any organized church. Obviously the imprint of memory has something to do with my warped sense of boundaries.

    Also wondering if there are good options to attended meetings remotely or online (worried about seeing someone I know at face to face meetings).

    Thx,
    Darwin
     
  13. Cprelude

    Cprelude Fapstronaut

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    I dont see anything wrong with this it's high t
     
  14. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

    Dude...
     
  15. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

    Well, here goes nothing.

    I'm very much a Christian (not Catholic) and have a problem with the concept. I respect anyone's approach that works for them...more power to them...but I'll never say I am powerless over something I willingly choose to do. I don't have control when I truly don't have control...not when I'm choosing the very high I know it will harm me.

    I know people that have been supernaturally delivered by addictions...I have not...so I'm taking the verse that tells me I have to flee immorality. So that's what I do. If I choose against this...personal responsibility...and there will be consequences.

    Anyway - this is just a personal rant...I had a few times before, while trying not to disrespect anyone. Plenty of better men than me found freedom through this approach.

    As far as I understand...that "higher power" is meant to be some abstract concept...some "mental model"...whatever: if rubbing my head with snail slime gives some people an edge over P addiction, I will cheer for them...even though it doesn't fit my current perspective and makes 0 sense.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    My experience with SA -

    I could not quit on my own. I tried so many times but failed. - SA provides a community of incredibly supportive people who will help you achieve sobriety.

    Powerlessness - I really did not like the idea of saying I was powerless over my addiction. It seemed like dodging responsibility... but think about how much your addiction rules your life and your behaviour and choices despite your best wishes and intentions. Who has more power you or your addiction? Who is really in the drivers seat?? Who has been winning all these years....like really you are not powerless over this addiction? Like come on get real.

    Higher Power - I don't believe in god. 12 step is not a religion. It's full of atheists and agnostics. It takes great pains to not become a religion. Your higher power can be the group, the program, universal consciousness, love, nature, the teletubbies, that weird cat down the street... it doesn't matter, as long as you are willing to admit that you are not the most powerful influence in the universe, that there are forces in the universe more powerful than you.

    I've begun working the steps and for me it is working. For the first time in my life I feel like there is a path to freedom from my addictions. And the past 60 days has been so much easier than any other time I have tried.

    Yes you can meet online or on the phone, try it to start, but the in person meetings are best.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. I have known for years that my sex addiction has been in the drivers seat. He is currently driving with his knee, smoking weed, naked and masturbating while looking at porn on his phone. Sadly not paying attention to the road (life) except to check out a cute girl walking by. I am nervous to tell him to pull over and let me drive, because I really like being along for the ride and I don't want him to be mad at me for telling him he has gone too far, but it has to happen. Don't want to be pulled over by the cops for negligent driving. Right?
     
    Carbon Icon and AndyShyGuy78 like this.
  18. I'm not in SA or anything but I always thought of the "powerlessness" thing in this way. It means I have to avoid what I'm addicted to 100 per cent. I can't dabble in it here and there. I can't use it in some clever, different way for my own advantage.

    I just have to keep the living crap away from it! Lol
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Yeah thats a good way of looking at it. But I also think it goes deeper, because before the act is the thought.
     
  20. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Thats hilarious. It's funny how many people in similar situations are totally unwilling to acknowledge that the addiction has the power and always has. Like the naked driver is shaking his dick out the window screaming "nothing to see here, everythings under control"

    Lol
     

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