Emergency Toolbox that helped me a lot during my first 100 Days

Deleted Account · Mar 25, 2018

Thats amazing, world is small.

fercho29 · Sep 23, 2018

Last few days have been tough for my reboot
Too many urges and fantasies, too many cravings of getting back to my old life, like if it was paradise and not the hell it was
I started re reading the notes I have in my cell to read gen these urges get strong and before I enter “zombie mode”
I want to share some with you:

First Thought Wrong
Remind myself that my First Thoughts are usually wrong when I start the addicted process. Disrupting my addict's thought process might not work until I get to the Third or Fourth thought.
Most of my thoughts are recycled from earlier thoughts and are meaningless . The more I can quiet my mind and move to a state of conscious awareness , the more those thoughts will rush away
Maybe the thoughts will always be there but I will be the one in control of the situation, not them.
This is not who I AM, this is the story I TOLD myself and that my addicted brain wants me to continue to believe
I CAN TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND NOT LISTEN TO THE FIRST THOUGHT WRONG. After that I can ask myself: WHAT ELSE? And make a POSITIVE CHOICE

Handling Fantasies

The first issue is that fantasizing is probably the most practiced escape behavior, even more so than porn.
One of my biggest problems has always been fantasizing. Yes, I struggled with sexual fantasizing, but even more than that was my issue of fantasizing about being someone else, somewhere else

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero. I think a large part of my penchant for self-development was driven by this desire, which I view as a good thing. A not-so-good thing, though, was how often I lived in my own mind. There, I could disconnect from whoever I truly was, and pretend that I was whatever kind of hero I wanted to be.

The problem with this was that it held me back from being a true hero in my day-to-day life. The hero I was in my mind always had an epic scenario that I could shine in, or some kind of ability/power that I didn’t actually have. In these daydreams I could impress anyone, be loved by all, and conquer all enemies.
Our thoughts dictate our emotions, and our emotions power our actions.
Luckily, the solution to fantasizing is simple (though it does require commitment and practice to pay off). All you need to do is tune into what is real around you.

If you notice your mind drifting off, just gently shift back and recenter on the present moment. You will need to consciously do this for a while in order for it to become second nature.

Another aspect is guilt, which has to do with something one did to someone, or something that one failed to do and should have done.

The question is : who you were then? No human can act beyond of his level of conscious at that time. You acted like the awareness was not there to act differently. Now the awareness is there , and the awareness is who you truly are.

How good can I stand it?
For one week ask yourself at least 25 times per day: "How good can I stand it"? And 25 times :" What is always true?"

You will be ensuring that you will have a better day, you are creating more "good" in your life
Your reward could be peace, joy and serenity

Stop being an automaton, see who you really are and make sure you are living your life in the now rather than in reaction to your story
My addict personality was looking for its own version of relief from Hurt, Anger, Loneliness and Tiresome ( HALT). Now it is time to move beyond that base-level thinking
Stay strong
Fercho

pmofreeliving · Sep 24, 2018

fercho29 said: ↑

Dear Fapstronauts:
I want to share with you some texts that I saved in "Notes" in my cell phone to read during my urges. I found it useful to have it handy.
They help me a lot during the weak moments, when I feel that I will lose the battle.
Some things I took from other posts, some I wrote and some I copied from other sites. (I hope nobody claims copyrights, lol)
I hope this helps
Keep fighting
Fercho

1. Inspirational videos that helped me a lot during my reboot:

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

2. These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:

To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?

For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."

I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene

The NF journey

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

Fercho
Click to expand...

DUDE WAKE THE F* UP! stop relapsing, you wrote this!

fercho29 · Sep 24, 2018

pmofreeliving said: ↑

DUDE WAKE THE F* UP! stop relapsing, you wrote this!
Click to expand...

You are absolutely right @pmofreeliving .
I know Incan do better than relapsing after so many years of clean life
I am back in this battle ready to fight
Fercho

Salt & Light · Sep 25, 2018

Anti-Porn Army Soldier said: ↑

Great post
Your opinions sure resonates with mine and I hope I conquer this addiction by the end of this year.
Click to expand...

You will conquer it, you've already used the word yourself...Hope!

Hope is far greater than any fear x

Salt & Light · Sep 25, 2018

Marvelous post! I gotta say, I was on a roller coaster with this one! Confusion, followed by laughter - shock I think, and then tears! It's really strange to read the process of 'using' P. I'm an SO who has never developed an addiction, yet I can empathize with this from my own brief experience with P years ago, the feelings of numbness and shame. I was lucky to get away from it early on! Thanks for the post x

naturehigh · Oct 17, 2018

fercho29 said: ↑

Dear Fapstronauts:
I want to share with you some texts that I saved in "Notes" in my cell phone to read during my urges. I found it useful to have it handy.
They help me a lot during the weak moments, when I feel that I will lose the battle.
Some things I took from other posts, some I wrote and some I copied from other sites. (I hope nobody claims copyrights, lol)
I hope this helps
Keep fighting
Fercho

1. Inspirational videos that helped me a lot during my reboot:

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

2. These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:

To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?

For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."

I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene

The NF journey

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

Fercho
Click to expand...

perfectly said, I can fully relate to all the horrendous details before and after PMO. This is a great tool belt for anyone who is struggling with PMO addiction. Please post more!!

4DCreator · Oct 17, 2018

fercho29 said: ↑

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
Click to expand...

Yes, when we are sad and alone and feeling unloved, we need to stay sober but naturally, we will always be connecting to something (to our addition, or people, or social media if we don't have people). We need to try to build real human connections where we give love and get love and where we are going to feel valuable

Opposite of addiction is a connection, not being sober. But staying sober in loneliness is still beneficial as it urges us to create human connections, and it gives us better willpower and feelings about ourselves and loads of more benefits Great post

naturehigh · Oct 17, 2018

4DCreator said: ↑

Yes, when we are sad and alone and feeling unloved, we need to stay sober but naturally, we will always be connecting to something (to our addition, or people, or social media if we don't have people). We need to try to build real human connections where we give love and get love and where we are going to feel valuable

Opposite of addiction is a connection, not being sober. But staying sober in loneliness is still beneficial as it urges us to create human connections, and it gives us better willpower and feelings about ourselves and loads of more benefits Great post
Click to expand...

Very well said, we should definitely get out there and start building meaningful relationships with like minded people.

fercho29 · Oct 23, 2018

naturehigh said: ↑

Very well said, we should definitely get out there and start building meaningful relationships with like minded people.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for your post @naturehigh . Absolutely, that should be our goal in life
Stay strong
Fercho

ash_cloud · Oct 25, 2018

Hey Fercho, sep 21 was my last reset as well , so I feel like I have someone to keep me going because we have the same counter..

Nice original post by the way...It really resonated with me when you said to visualize where PMO will lead you and what it will leave you .....Prior to my last reset, I had a decent enough streak and significant positive effects to think I could not possibly go back to that life again..that I was a changed person and I was a little smug in comparing my new self with my former self....Then one time I fapped, led to a chain of events that got me back to my former self...Just 1 lapse can do it...

This time my hope is that I can remember always where it will lead me and what it will leave me..

Deleted Account · Oct 26, 2018

[QUOTE = "fercho29, post: 308716, member: 50656"] Por cada impulso que enfrentas, te das una opción. ¿Te das por vencido, o superas el impulso? Ninguna urgencia es incontrolable. No importa qué tan mal esté la situación en ese momento, siempre puedes tomar la decisión correcta de alejarte y mantenerte limpio. [/ QUOTE]

Que gran post !!
Todo es increíble, y en esto estoy totalmente de acuerdo.
Muchas gracias por compartir este post.
Saludos y suerte!

fercho29 · Oct 31, 2018

ash_cloud said: ↑

Hey Fercho, sep 21 was my last reset as well , so I feel like I have someone to keep me going because we have the same counter..

Nice original post by the way...It really resonated with me when you said to visualize where PMO will lead you and what it will leave you .....Prior to my last reset, I had a decent enough streak and significant positive effects to think I could not possibly go back to that life again..that I was a changed person and I was a little smug in comparing my new self with my former self....Then one time I fapped, led to a chain of events that got me back to my former self...Just 1 lapse can do it...

This time my hope is that I can remember always where it will lead me and what it will leave me..
Click to expand...

I am sorry for your relapse @ash_cloud , I hope you are once again in balance and ready to keep going.
This is a daily battle and we need to be alert. I had a 3 years streak, and ruined it because I became complacent and thought that I was 100% "rehabilitated".
Yes, that sentence is very powerful and has saved me more than once
Keep the fight strong
Fercho

13urue · Dec 5, 2020

Inspiring ! Thank you!

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