Ed from nerve damage/excessive masturbation

So before I go into my Ed I'm going to let everyone in on my habits and everything. I eat pretty good I smoke weed everyday. I workout ocasoccasion I'm not obese anymore and I drink alot of water and have pretty decent sleep a solid 6-9 hours every night. Aside from the nights I would masturbate or stay up late but the next day I usually had off from work so enede up getting the missed sleep. I had a relationship sexually with another girl but I only got Ed whenever we would have sex more than 2 or 3 times in a day me and her would do 7 as our record one day we're we nymphos together eventually our 2 years of sexual experiences stopped whenever we broke up. We we're apart for about 6 months roughly I went back to her because I felt I loved her but I think I was just at the time really addicted to sexual touch of any kind I masturbated alot sometimes even 4 times when I wouldn't see her during the whole relationship.during this break I was 18 and had a one night stand and rocked this girl's world which is why I still have some confidence and whenever I am hard I'm 7.5 so i don't really feel small. Before getting back together with her I became even more Infatuated with porn which lead to the 3 to 4 times a day like a said. I would premature ejac all the time whenever we got back together but I also was able to have long sex during the time as well with her. We ended up breaking our relationship off after about a month of getting back together because of her going to rehab and aborting our kid without letting me know. After our relationship ended I kept up the masturbation at the same place I eventually started losing a desire for female contact at school because no girl showed any desire for me at all I turned to porn. I became addicted I eventually sucumbed to edging because it was the most pleasurable for me alone and rough. I also didn't always have the money for lube so I would dry palm all the time. Eventually my masturbation has slowed down to like once or twice a day. I've been looking at porn for about 8 to 9 years now without taking a month off or anything Im alot more fit than when I started masturbating so I've gained confidence in my body but I've lost it in my dick the other night I had not jacked off in a day or so and went to hangout with a girl we made out and got all in the mood and everything was going amazing o was rubbing her and she was getting super turned on and I had a pretty solid boner from the foreplay and we we're about to have sex and I felt pretty rock hard but we couldn't have sex because her sister had to stop by. So then I jacked off the next day and there was another two day masturbation break so I fufigur I would be perfect when the time came to get a hard dick.( I did this whenever I had the 1st break with my girlfriend and rocked the girl's world.) Anyway time had come and I brought her over to my house I was having stomach issues the day of but not at the time of the desired sex we had taken an edible and smoked a bowl and took a dab. Both of us use cannibis as a medicine I use it for my anxiety and she uses it for sleep and appetite. Anyway we start 69ing and it feels amazing I love the way it feels in her mouth but then we switch to her oussy and I love the feeling of entering at first it feels amazing and I am doing great I start fucking her and I just go limp not I wasn't rock hard or anything but it wasn't soft when I put it inside her. I then ask her to blow me after it goes limp and eventually after seeing her stuggle to suck me hard we eventually stop. Everything that she was doing was turning me on but I almost just couldn't feel anything in my dick by the end of the blowjob it almost felt numb. I felt so embarrassed and It brought back feelings of my anxiety that started from my ex girlfriend I just felt at a loss for words besides I was "too high and felt overstimulated". The next morning it was only about after a 6 hour nap that we woke up and I made my move again we started kissing and my dick started to get hard and in the heat of the moment I ripped off my pants before I was fully hard and got in position to have sex and it went limp instantly my mind is filled with doubt and distress and I start rushing to put my clothes back on. I honestly don't want to watch porn anymore I just wanted a girl like the one the other night I think she likes me back but definitely not sexually after what happened. I just feel scared because I feel like I've damaged my tissue and or my brains pathways for seeing nude imagery/being able to stay hard with a woman I love and I think is perfect. Just looking for some guidance please.

 

Heres my update I haven't watched porn in a good 5 days it's not much of a struggle. I've been ready to quit porn for awhile but I felt like I needed a female to make me orgasm everyday or even twice a day so in my mind I was making myself a better man by masturbating and training my dick to stay hard for awhile through edging. I look back at this decision and didn't realize how stupid I was to really think I couldn't damage myself. I think ii reall was just masturbating because of my depression/loneliness. But now that I have a girl I really like and am attracted to I just feel so determined to stop cold turkey. After I graduated school I stopped seeing my peers everyday and most of my friends went into military so it kinda left me with a social gap for females. But now that I've found the perfect one I just want to love her heart out. I just am hoping so bady that she'll accept me for who I am and that I don't have irreversible damage.

 

On day 7 now still going strong. I have chronic scoliosis so my back aches all the time it's really the only medicine I trust and use for it. If anything I feel more desire to actually have sex on weed.
How do you know the weed is having such a big affect on it? is it just what you did on your reboot? Does it really set you back more? i really have just had a problem with masturbating even before I started smoking. I don't really have hangovers from weed im not sure I understood that part.

 

Not saying you're wrong and or I'm right. I feel like we both have very different levels of exposure to weed I've been smoking for a solid 5 years. i will give it some more thought thank you for your advice on this. Also my brother who started pmo earlier than me did it for longer and had kids and still smokes and doesn't have any problems but the main difference for us is the amount of pmo he did at my age which was much less. I just never get weed hangovers man sometimes i throw up in the morning but its all mucus and spit But this also happened before i smoked weed as well. Pain killers have never really worked for me besides making me feel tired the pain is like having a big knot in your spine where it curves. I never have really had paranoia with weed I'm really laid back and relaxed. I'm pretty healthy I've been trying to cut back on sweets and junk. I have been researching different foods that help with blood flow and heart health. Weed helped with my sex drive whenever i started smoking too. It helped my anxiety I'm quite flexible maybe yoga will help with the stiffness. I recently talked to a good friend of mine that has had trouble with this and he said that it has happened to him and his friends multiple times that are stoners they talked about not being in the moment with the girl which I don't think I was honestly

 

Day 9 of nofap update hard morning wood. Hard erection later on in the mornin. Things are looking good my dick is sort going back to the way it felt before I started fapping so much.

 

As the end of day 9 approaches I still feel the urges not for porn but to just masturbate. My errections are starting to feel a bit harder. It's weird because I haven't not ejaculated for this long since I was like 14. I just feel the desire to just release alot of my stress through jerking.

 

Day 10 of NoFap no morning wood but a random boner. I haven't had a random boner in I don't know how long.

 

End of day 11 had pretty hard morning wood no random erections. Peeing doesn't take as long.

 

Well by now I would be at day 50 if I hadn't relapsed. I really feel like my addiction is back but I haven't pmo for 4 days now. I'm thinking about quiting weed for awhile idk for sure yet . My highest record is about 13 days I know I can do this.