ED and my boyfriend

This is kind of interesting
Like many straight men progress to gay porn to keep dopamine up, and have shame
Have you progressed from gay porn to straight porn?

 

You need to do a reboot
Afterwards things will be clearer

 

If this is the case, the only route that I can see (but I might be wrong!) is to be honest with him.

Relationships need honesty.

I can understand why you might feel reluctant to tell him — he might be put right off and leave you, right?

But what if he leaves you anyway, and then you regret not telling him?

This is a decision that only you can make, knowing him whereas obviously I don't.

But if he truly cares for you, and you have shown a genuine commitment to solving the problem together with the courage to give him complete honesty, I would hope that he has the courage to stay with you.

Start your commitment, now!

• Delete your entire porn stash. I know that this feels scary, but what's more important to you — a bunch of fake actors or your boyfriend? Do it now.
• If you can't trust yourself, also install porn blockers on all of your internet-enabled devices. Do it now.
• Create a badge on this site for no-PM (or, if your boyfriend agrees, no-PMO, which means also no sex), and go for a full 90-day reboot. Do it now.

Once you've committed, then I suggest that you fess up.

This is, of course, only my opinion. Take from this what you feel is right and ignore what you feel is wrong…

… but, whatever you decide…

… delete your porn stash; and start, at the very minimum, a 90-day no-PM badge.

Oh, and in case I didn't say it, "Do it now!"

We're here for you. Keep posting.

 

I had PIED and could not maintain and erection with my spouse. After my reboot things are back working. It is worth the fight and we are hear for you. PM with any questions.

 

How long did it take to beat the pied mate?

 

For me it was two months. But it is working.

 

Good stuff!

I did 120 days then recaived a bj New Years now reset my timer. It’s working for me too. Erections back stronger(and back in general haha)

@Wolfgang is Bach There is light at the end of the tunnel mate. Stop PMO brother

 

Ahh man 2 months, so lucky, I’m nearly 3, not working yet

 

Haha I’m not fully up and running yet either. I’m 31. Used P for years, since mid teens. Might take a while

 

I’m 46, been in hell since teens, I’m thinking more like a year or two
Ffs

 

I’m being really strict with myself. The only way to speed up a reboot is not to relapse. No p subs, no edging, nothing! By being strict and honest with yourself adds value to everyday. You will get there

 

Man, I’m being so strict, I even threw my smart phone away

 

That’s dedication! Getting rid of the internet is always an option! I’ve blocked adult websites on all devices

 

I still have an IPad, but my wife helped put a blocker on it
Man I’m so determined now
I’ve even quit my job that I love
I just want to heal from this awful hell madness

 

Dude, it must be so hard to recover from an ED with so much pressure on you. I think you should make some time to talk about it, not in the bed, but like somewhere else. Also, why were you watching straight porn? If it's because of some weird guilt of getting aroused with guys, that's also working against you.
My guy made quite a fuss at the beginning about me not being able to get an erection. I started no-PM and talked with my guy that I would rather spend time going out instead of having sex, at least for a while. I explained what I was going through, and asked him to accept me without the erections, that MAYBE they would come back later, in a couple of months, and that I would like him to stay with me even if they didn't. He understood me, showed me a lot of support, and we changed the focus of our relationship to spending time together doing things that we like. In my case, it was easy to earn his support because we're in a quite flat relationship. Maybe you're being put too much pressure to meet your partner's expectations, and that's a problem that goes beyond the sexual aspect of your relation.

In my case, because we got to talk to each other, I'm no longer trying to have sex when I don't feel like it, and I'm not torturing myself for not having an erection. I've just started, so I can't say much, but with just 8 days off PMO, and after having talked with him about it, when we had an opportunity (yesterday) things occurred quite naturally, and my ED was partly gone, and I was less worried about what was going on down there. Now he's gone on a trip for about 2 weeks, so I'll naturally be PMO free for that time. I'm pretty sure this is a good pause.
I'm a total newbie, but maybe you should talk it over once more. If you're like me, maybe it would be great to go for no-PM, and start dating outside, sharing hobbies or whatever, instead of meeting at his/your place. If sex happens, I don't know if it's really a must to avoid orgasm; I feel letting it be with your partner is not a bad thing, as long as you can trust that he will not blame you in case your body doesn't respond the same way as his.