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somnuscm · May 4, 2017

Hey, I'm new here. I'm at nofap for exactly a week now. My maximum was a month. But, I was just feeling depressed like I can't tell you. I'm sure that if I did relapse by now it'd be worse. so I decided to create an account to participate, although the difficulty of doing so.

Well, first of all, I don't have friends and don't talk much, I feel down almost every time, not so sure if it's consequence of the addiction, but I'm certain that if don't, then at least this was building that feeling too... anyway, I really need some help.
See, here where I live, I don't have much things to occupy myself, and when I do, usually I don't use them the right way, like i'm being told what to do or like i don't have any other choice. I'm literally living because I don't have choice. Don't see no meaning, don't see no future for me, I dislike talking, using words, I think words are just empty, and I just follow my instincts almost every time. I can't keep doing the same thing for at least an hour, then I must move out to other activity that I don't enjoy at all! like hiperactive, I don't know. I think that I can have some enlightenment, I feel like I just need to talk to someone, that's why I created an account here, to talk. This idea of quitting porn was an instinct that I had, a moment of clarity, and I searched for more help, now I feel like I won't be free until I complete my days out of this addiction really. What should I do? A person like myself that don't enjoy nothing at life, absolutely nothing. I feel like a robot or machine, not a man. And every opportunity that I saw in front of me, it was like I denied, but without control, without wanting to deny those opportunities, I really don't know what do, I'm a total mess right now in my thoughts, I can't express more of what I feel, but it's a strange feeling, and I'm willing to read your opinions here, please comment and try to help.

Sorry if my english is crap, I study it for almost more than seven years and still cannot speak perfectly. A total mistake, even through all this time, I couldn't learn more. I find myself almost every time powerless to do anything about my life. Guess i'm just having that little spark of faith in nofap because I don't need to do nothing at all, just stop doing something.

Readytomoveon · May 4, 2017

I'm certain if we can quit porn we can find meaning in life. Porn addiction robbed me of my life and robbed me of my real pleasures. Once we can quit porn I'm sure we will find our true selves again.

meanbean70 · May 5, 2017

Bro i totally feel you. I have suffered from depression for a while. I promise, absolutely promise, that it will get better. But you have to make it better. You havweto live healthy. You have to write, excercise, and pour your feelings into something. I know that its hard, but you can do it. Most of all, find someome to talk to. If you cant fimd anyone, feel free to message me. I am happy to help you. Its weird how we can know the answers to our problems, but we cant act on them until someone else tells us to. You can do this man. I believe in you.

P.S. Your english is spot on.

HelloSalute · May 18, 2017

I had depression too. Looking at porn definitely did that to me. I actually felt crappy and ashamed. It negatively hurt my interactions with people too. I just didn't want to talk or interact with them. It wasn't until a couple days after I looked at porn that I felt better... I can't tell you why porn had that effect on me but it did, and I want to say I distinctively remember it... I don't remember If I ever looked at porn due to depression specifically but at times I'd be frustrated with things in life and I was like, "I'm going to do this to relax and enjoy myself."

...Regardless, don't look at porn. Do something else. Even if that means you have to run away and drive around, or walk around the block... I've noticed that in helping others I find great fulfillment. Maybe force yourself to get out and volunteer, anywhere. Even if that's driving around and looking for people walking down the street and offering them a ride. I've literally stuck my head out the window and yelled, "Hey want a lift?" to people before. You could go to an orphanage or hospital and volunteer... I volunteered at a hospital once and literally all I was there for was to talk to old people and hang with them. I got so much more out of it than they did.

God told me in a dream that If I did not stop looking at porn He would throw me in Hell. The same would apply to you. WE need to stop. WE need to actively decide when we are tempted to look at porn. "No, im not doing this." "This is not even an option."

Peace be with you. May God and Jesus Christ save us for our addiction so that we can inherit life in His kingdom.

...Your English is great by the way.

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